I'm beginning to waste my life away again...I couldnt sleep last night so as before, I
sat up on the computer all night...I didnt even have the energy to go to the Y this
morning...I wanted to go...but I know I need to preserve my strenght for
today...birthday shopping for Brian...oh how I dred shopping...and I have a HUGE
throbbing headache...*grr*... Shanna is away for the weekend with her family for
easter...*pout*... I miss her...no one to chat with and no one to recieve e-mail
from...I am utterly pathetic today...I feel so guilty for not going to the Y with my
mom, not having very much money to spend on Brian, staying up all night and not
keeping in touch with everyone...I dont understand why I bother to make friends if
I'm just gonna push them away anyway... I am such a terrible friend!...*sigh*
I'm so damn tired of my life being so stressful...why cant I live at home with my
parents, go to school, get a part time job and not have to worry about money, rent
and bills?...I'm very proud of the fact that Brian and I have made so much out of
so little...we've made it almost two years all on our own...but it's been a tough
fight! ...*shrug*...I cant think anymore, I'm going to bed...