Brian and I are just discussing that fact that I think calling our one cat "Bean" fat is detramental...he knows his name and come stuff like that...ya think he can tell we're insulting him when we say: "Bean you're so fat" or "look at his big fat belly?"...I read in a book about animal psychology and it said cat's constantly being laughed at got a complex...my kittens have enough complexes due to our bad parenting in the beginning...sadly all three kittens spent their first 6 months in a little basement apartment with little light and a shortage of food...but they're all healthy and happy now...thank god!...I guess I kinda followed my heart before my head and took in to many cats without realizing how it would affect them.....

I was talking to a friend last night and he was going over all the reasons his mother didnt like me...she didnt like the way I handled a personal situation...that she had no business knowing about in the first place...but Brian's mother told her all about it...anyway, my parents and Brian's parents made a very personal choice for me...one I wholeheartedly dissagreed with but I was stupid and young...so she thinks I'm weak for allowing other people to make my choices...which I had absolutely no control over anyway....yet the choice I had originally made was wrong too...how do I win?...I mean that makes no sense to me what so ever...neither option was correct, she feels...and some how with two options open both were wrong in her mind....and I'm paying for that...ignornat people who judge...who's to say my actions, feelings and choices are wrong?...certainly not her!!!

la la la...Brian and I are getting along great...which I am really happy about...when we get along things are wonderful...maybe this time it will stay...probably not...we're both Aries so we fight like mad and I really don't think there's any chance of it changing...ah well...we'll get by....it's my birthday on Saturday (YAY!!) And I'll finally be able to buy my own cigarettes and alcohol...not that I should buy these things...but I will anyway cause I'm addicted (to smoking, I'm not an alcoholic! then again denial is the first sign...but so is drinking everyday...I only drink once in a blue moon)...I guess that means I should get some photo ID...I've been putting it off forever...I am such a procrastinator...

Shanna keeps teasing me because she thinks I'm shy *giggle*...which I am I suppose...but it isnt my fault...I really like her so I'm a bit timid when we're together...shoot me!!!...haha....she bought me a cute butterfly candle last Thursday...isnt that the sweetest??...She's busy studying for exams this week so we cant get together till Friday *pout*....just in time for a little birthday surprise though *hint hint* *giggle*...I am so bad! It's 10 to 5 here...so I guess I'd better head off to bed or something...luv you all