*Sunday March 29, 1998 (5:57am)*
I feel like I just have to write for a bit today, I dont really have ne thing special to
say...but my mind is full of thoughts, frustrations ...the usual stuff I suppose...I'm
really emotional right now, and I'm not sure why...I guess I just feel alone..well not
even really alone...confused ...frustrated....sometimes I wish I could give myself a
label...not because I want to be labeled...I hate labels...but it would inable me to say
"I am this", it would simplify my search so much more...but it's never that easy
with me...I am so many things...so many things influence who I am ...that's what
makes me unique...I am having such a hard time with my identity...I love dark
ambient music...but enjoy hiphop and jungle... Erykah Badu...and Tool
(sometimes)....big baggy clothes, sweatshirts and huge pants...but as soon as I get
home I jump into my comfy PJ's...I am self abusive...but believe in self
empowerment...I am only attracted girls, urn for female relationships...but I'm in
love with a male...that makes me bi right? ...I dunno....I am in love with a
male...but hate males in general...I am spiritual...but I dont believe in anything...I
have an eclectic personality....I wouldnt change that...but where do/will I ever fit
in....I wont, I never have, I never will...being different is a good thing, I do believe
that...but it's hard damnit!!...*sigh*....