Knock-knocks

Knock-knocks by Marco O'Conner

~knock knock~

who's there?

Fox.

fox who?

HEY EINSTEIN!! HEL-LO?!?!?! FOX FLIPPIN' MCCLOUD, WHO ELSE?!?!?!

~knock knock~

who's there?

Dork.

dork who?

Well, there's Slippy, Pigma...

~knock knock~

who's there?

Major Salt.

major salt who?

Major Salt, looking for General Pepper.

~knock knock~

who's there?

Salts.

again?

Huh?

oh.

Come again?

never mind.

It's a different Salts.

well, Salts who?

Salts on Venom are easy, aren't they?

~knock knock~

who's there?

Andrew.

get away you baby!

UNCLE ANDROSS!

~knock knock~

who's there?

Andross.

uh-oh.

Why?

uh, never mind.

Ok.

well, Andross who?

Dr. Andross. I'm Emperor Andross's former self.

oh, cool.

Yeah, isn't it?

also weird.

HEY!

uh-oh.

~knock knock~

why won't these people leave me alone? ugh,who's there?

Katt.

...hold on ~turns on romantic music~

You ready?

come on in.

I had to tell someone, Falco and I are getting married!

...oh...great. ~fires gun at stereo~

~knock knock~

why can't they just use the phone? who's there?

Fara.

fara who?

Fara Phoenix, you dope. How many Faras do you know?

good point. come on in.

~knock knock~

this is really starting to tick me off rrrr...who's there?

Slippy.

what a coincedence Slippy who?

Slippy Toad, wh-wh-who else? Listen, the m-m-mud in the Great F-F-F-ox mud bath is all d-d-dried

up. Can i u-u-use yours?

uh, sure. go ahead.

~knock knock~

I swear, the next person who bugs me... who's there?

The IRS.

aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! FOX!!! HELP!!!

~tsew tsew tsew~

thanx.

~knock knock~

this better be the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes who's there?

The Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

wow, that's twice i guessed right alright!

You've just won $3.5 million!

~comes at them with sharp gardening tools~ oh well. hahaha! moneymoneymoney!

~knock knock~

if it worked twice...uh, this better be Tyra Banks

Well it ain't. It's Peppy.

that would explain him reading my mind

I guess. Can I come in?

sure.

Hey, we're out of carrot juice. You have any?

~Slippy comes into the room~ No we aren't o-o-out. There's some p-p-powder stuff at the back of

the c-c-cupboard, next to my Bug and N-N-Nuggets bars.

Oh, ok. You're the best, Slippy!

Thanx a lot, P-P-Peppy! Oh wait, that was a c-c-compliment.

Slippy is such a screw-up after all!

Hey, what's the big i-i-idea?

i have no effect in this exchange

Yep.

~ding dong~

finally, some variety who's there?

Bill.

bill who?

Bill Grey. I just wanted to tell everyone that Roveran's wife had puppies!

yay! here, give him this cigar. ~hands Bill cigar to give to Roverans, and one for Bill too~

Thanx.

don't mention it. :-)

~knock knock~

i'll stop gabbing for a while who's there?

Bond.

james bond?

No, Municipal Bond, who else? Of course James Bond.

i think you have the wrong game.

I do?

yeah.

Can I have a drink before I leave?

sure.

Shaken, not stirred.

i know.

~shlurp~ Now, where's Q?

~knock knock~

who's there?

Falco.

missing your Playbirds, i suppose?

Uh, yeah.

there's some in the back.

Ok. Hey, what would you be doing with Playbirds?

...good point. i don't look at em, though.

Uh-huh. Right.

~knock knock~

who's there?

Leon.

of StarWolf fame?

Yeah.

what do you want?

I need a knife sharpener, for my next torture. My blades are rusty.

i don't think i have one.

I THINK I'LL TORTURE YOU FOR A WHILE!!!

uh, wait! i think i have one in the garage!

Dang!

hey!

...Oh wait. Sorry.

better.

~knock knock~

who's there?

Pigma.

eeewww...... uh, no food here.

This can't be happening!

actually, it is.

~knock knock~

if i could be like mike....i love that commercial! oh, door

who's there?

Wolf.

wolf who?

Wolf O'Donnel, you bloody moron. Let me in.

do you have your knife?

Always.

do you plan on using it?

IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN, I WILL!!!

~door opens~

Now, i was wondering if you would like to join the Fox McCloud haters club and...

~door slams shut~ go away! i ain't your buddy!

~knock knock~

last one for now, i promise who's there?

General Pepper.

looking for Major Salt, i suppose?

Yeah.

well, he came by earlier, but he left.

Oh, dang. Where'd he go?

i dunno.

Thanx anyway.

Here, take a lolly for the road.

THANX! here's a medal!

i guess i deserve one after all these people thanx!

___________________

~knock knock~

who's there?

Caimen.

of Caimen Klein fame?

~blush~yeah.

c'mon in.

~door opens to have Area 6 army with warrant for MOC/aniken's arrest~

AHHH!!! wait is that a camera man there? whoa, i'm gonna be on "COPS"!

~knock knock~

who's there?

Barenaked Ladies.

that could be two things...come on in.

hey,where's the studio?

oh, that Barenaked Ladies. it's down the street.

~knock knock~

who's there?

K-Katt.

c'mon in. what's wrong?

I found out Falco was going out with Avia!

oh, that's, um, shocking.

i know! listen, i need your help...

to make Falco jealous?

how'd you know?

i have my ways...

so will you do it?

no.

WHY NOT?

~shows Katt wedding ring~

SO WHAT?

...~blink blink~ sorry, Katt. try someone else.

FINE!

k. bye.

~knock knock~

who's there?

FALCO! LET ME IN!! NOW!!

okay, okay!

KATT, GET AWAY FROM ME!!

Katt, I'm calling Bill Grey!

AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

women!

tell me about it!

Falco: so then, Avia and i were about to....

~knock knock~

lemme get that. who's there?

Ka-~cough~uh, Avia.

ummm....c'min.

~Katt jumps at Falco trying to kiss him madly~

AAAHHH!!!!!

BILL!!!!

~bark bark bark~

AAAAHHHH!!!!

~Katt runs~

i feel violated!

tell me bout it!

Knock-knocks by StarWolf

(part I)

~knock knock~

Who's there?

Fox

Um, excuse me, there aren't any aliens here.

Oh. Okay. Have a nice day

That was pointless.

~knock knock~

Who's there?

Waiting

Wating? For who?

Nobody

Well, you said 'Waiting'

We know! We're The Waiting! We're here for the annual Christain music festival

you're having in your house.

Oh, yeah! Come into the backyard!

~knock knock~

Who's there?

Falco

Okay, Ted. You got the first part right, but what's the last?

What are you talking about?

Ted, I know you're out there.

~door swings open~

DO I LOOK LIKE A 'TED'?

Oh. Falco Lombardi. Sorry. I'm teaching someone else the scientific names of birds. He couldn't

remember the scientific name of an Apalodamo falcon. I thought you were him.

No hard feelings.

~knock knock~

~sigh~ Who's there?

Pigma

Pigma Dengar?

WHOD'JA THINK?

Nobody

~Pigma runs inside, and eats a pack of lunch meat out of the fridge~

Um, Pig, did you read the package label?

Well, to let you know, it says "Honey-baked Ham" on it.

What theÉ?

Yep

I'M A CANNIBAL!!!

~Pigma runs out of the door~

When will they learn?

~knock knock~

GrrrrÉ. Who's there?

Crystal Lewis

Wha' 'da 'ya know? Here for the festival, eh?

Yes, I am!

Okay! Come right into the backyard!! By the way, I heard the concert in Dallas was a blast!

~knock knock~

Why don't they use a phone? Who's there?

Fox

Again? I told you that there weren't any aliens here!

Huh?

By the way, where's Dana? I want 'yall's autographs!!

Dana? Who's Dana?

You know, your sidekick. Dana Scully.

I have no idea what you're talking about!

Well, what's your full name, since you seem to be another 'Fox'

McCloud! Fox McCloud! Who else would I be?

Good question. Come right in.

~knock knock~

RrrrrrÉ Who's there?

Clay Crosse

Clay Crosse? Here for the festival, right?

Yeah

~opens door~

What theÉ?

Yep. It's me, Wolf!! I fooled 'ya good!!

TrueÉ

I heard Fox was here. Where is he?

~Wolf sharpens knife~

GET OUT OF HERE, 'YA BACK-STABBIN' MURDERER!!

~slams door~

~ring ring~

Finally, someone uses the phone! Hello? Who is this?

Wolf

~hangs up~

~knock knock~

Who's there

Clay Crosse

This better not be another imposter. Here for the festival?

Yep.

Okay ~opens door slowly~

Well, you seem cautious there

WHEW! It ain't Wolf!! Yeah. There was an imposter here, but I got rid of him

~Wolf shows up in doorway~ Not yet!!

GrrrrÉ. ~takes out a Bible, and hits Wolf in the head with it; Wolf is unconsious~

Wow! Now that's using the Word!!

Thanks! Take a seat in the backyard

~drags Wolf out of the house~

I always have my Bible with me. You know. "Just in case"É..

To be continued...

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