The Top Signs Your Mechanic Is Losing It

That photo of a naked A.J. Foyt on his wall.
You catch him in his office making auto noises and "shifting gears", if you know what I mean.
Replaces your fan belt with a pair of bikini underwear.
Embroidered "Mr. Bad-Ass Wrench" on his shirt.
Hose from air pump leads into his coveralls.
Keeps asking if you're sure you don't want a "lube job."
Still doing work for OJ and expecting to get paid.
Eats Go-Jo off finger as if it were peanut butter.
Giggles uncontrollably whenever anyone says, "lug nuts."
"Huh huh, he said 'dipstick'. Huh huh, huh huh."
Keeps asking you if you've seen that episode of Gilligan's Island where they almost get rescued, but Gilligan screws it up in the end.
Believes your Hyundai is possessed by the spirit of Kim Il Sung.
Replaces diagnostic computer with Magic 8 Ball.
Urinates on your tire and says, "Just marking my turf."
Rewires the cruise control to the radio so that the faster the music, the faster your car goes.
Owns no wrenches, but complete set of every size monkey.
Looks suspiciously like Joe Piscopo. Wait a minute -- He *IS* Joe Piscopo!
and the #1 Sign Your Mechanic Is Losing It...
Won't stop humming "The Wheels on the Bus Go 'Round and Round."

Read my Dreambook guestbook!
Sign my Dreambook!
How clever of you to highlight this text just to see what it says!! Now that you have taken the time and trouble to do this, hear what I have to say: ... I would have to guess that the internet has been around so long that folks just don't pay attention to guestbooks anymore. For instance, my guest book rarely gets an entry, and i know by the stat folks and counters and all that other fancy web stuff that there a lot of visitors to my pages, and that i give them an opportunity to sign my guest book on almost every page, but do they? NO, so, what about you? You've taken the time to read this small print, take a little more time to sign my book. TIA

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updated 10/18/02
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