1) You carry a pager in your right pocket, flipped inward, even if ish not activated!(cheap fob!)

2) Your bangs are either long enough for you to touch with your tongue, or your hair is gelled up in spikes hard enough to impale small mammals. (hee hee.. ish DeNNy!)


3) You're so caught up in name brand shiet, your pocket lint is labeled Calvin Klein. 


4) Your vocabulary consists of "pimp, dayum homiez, tyte, dawg" and as much as you can remember from the ebonics dictionary. 


5) You go to Asian parties, and you can't find your car since it looks like every other civic or integra.(IsH aLL BouT LaMBo'z ThO!) 


6) Your screen name consists of Azn, and every word in the profile is written in alternating lower case/capital letters. (I'm KiNkYPiNaY!)


7) You can never address a friend without calling them "foo." 
(yo foo, come here!)


8) You use the letter "z" in every other word when chatting. 
(WhUtZ DeY TrYinZ To SaYZ?)

9) Your girlfriend has enough make-up to be accepted into Clown College. 
(Meeh?...nahhhhh)

10) You never fit that old Asian stereotype of "all yellow skinned slant eyes are smart." (I'm a PiNaY..whether I LewK LyKe It Or NoT!)


11) You enter chatrooms with "representin Westsiiiide," or "any foin ladeehs in tha house?"(510 lyke whoa!)


12) You pick up chicks Who wear shoes 2 inches away from stilts. (See #9) 


13) You call people "peepz" since two syllables is too complex for you. 


14) You don't know the names of cities; only area codes. 
(once again...510 lyke whoa LoL)

15) Instead of getting real education, you learn a plethora of nonsensical pager codes. (For god sakes, buy a message pager...if you even need one.) (1114855119.1779.40177135!?!)
(143 823 637)

16) You've never heard of any other sporting wear than Nike. (Reebok? What's that?) (WhuT ThA FeeZy iSh rEEbOk?)


17) You can't buy a shirt unless it's priced over $40 and has a collossal sized Tommy Hillfiger or Polo label. 
(BuY PoLo BaBy!)

18) You're not a basketball player; you're a baller. 
(I'm BaLLiN WiT A RoLL O' QuArTeRz RiTe NoW!)

19) You've never bought a pair of pants that were less than 5 sizes bigger than your real waist.

yOOh ThiNk yOOh a TrU PiNoY/PiNay???

1. You're related to everyone.

2. Your parents call each other "Mommy" and "Daddy".

3. You have uncles and aunts named Boy, Girlie, or Baby.

4. You have relatives whose nicknames consist of repeated syllables, such as Jun-Jun, Ling-Ling, Mon-Mon.

5. You call the parents of your friends and you own parents' friends "tito" and "tita".

6. All of you childern have for or five names.

7. You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead.

8. You always kiss your relatives on the cheek whenever you enter or leave a room.

9.  Your grandomther greets you by giving you "smelling kisses".

10. You live with your parents until-and at times even after you're married.

11. You can't build or buy a house unless you first consult a FengShui expert.

12. Your has a distinctive smell.

13. You decorate your living room wall with your family framed diplomas and certificates. 

14. You decorate your dining room with a giant wooder spoon and fork and a picture of the Last Supper.

15. You keep your furniture wrapped in plastic.

16. Most of your home decor is made out of wicker. 

17. Your house has a "dirty" kitchen and a "clean" chicken.

18. Your kitchen table has a vinyl tablecloth.

19. You recycle plastic shopping bags as garbage bags.

20. You own a "footsteps in the sand" poster.

21. You have a piano that no one ever plays.

22. You keep your tabo in you bathroom.

23. You own a "barrel man".

24. You use a stone to scrub yourself in the shower.

25. You use VICKS VAPOR RUB as an insect repellant.

26. Your meal isn't complete without white rice.

27. You use your fingers to measture the water you need to cook rice.

28. You can't eat a meal without a spoon and fork.

29. You feel insulted if you visitors don't eat what you offer them.

30. When there is a party, you always cook three times more than you visitors can consume.

31. Your pantry is never without spanm, vienna sausage, corneed beef and sardines.

32. You can't enjoy a meal without patis or bagoong.

33. You eat fried spam and hotdogs with rice.

34. You eat mangoes with rice-with great gusto.

35. You enjoy chocoloate rice pudding and dried salted fish for breakfast.

36. You have a rosary or "faka bananas" hanging from you view mirror.

37. You tail an ambulance or a cop just to beat the traffic.

38. Your car horn can either laugh, bark, or moo.

39. Your car plays a song when it backs up.

40. You can sqeeze 15 passengers into your Honda Civic without a second thought.

41. You think traffic regulations are recommendations, not rules.

42. You think that traffic signs apply to everybody except for yourself.

43. You point with your lips.

44. You eat using you hands and have it down to technique.

45. Your other piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.

46. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir's sake".

47. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.

48. You use an umbrella for shade or hot summer days.

49. You scratch your head when you don't know the answer.

50. You play pusoy dos and mahjong.

51. You put your hand in front of you as if to make a path and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of them.

52. You buy tons of bath towels when they go on sale.

53. You still wear outdated clothes you have when you first came to the USA.

54. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom".

55. You say "for take out" instead of "to go"

56. You "open" or "close" the lights.

57. You ask for "colgate" instead of "toothpaste"

58. You say Kodakan instead of "take a picture"

59. You turn around when someone says "Psst..."

60. You say "cutex" instead of "nail polish"

61. You say "He" when you mean "She" and vice-versa.

62. You say "air-con" instead of "a/c" or air conditioner.

63. You pronounce "F" for "P" or "P" for "F".

64. You own a karaoke system.

65.  You have 5 pairs of tsinelas on your doorstep.

66. You refer to you VCR as the "betamax".

67. You have a rice dispenser with matching rice cooker.

68. You own a Mercedes Benz and call it "chedeng".

69. You have a "My Shaldan" air freshener in your car.

70. You were raised to believe that every filipino has an aunt, uncle, and cousins.

71. Your mom or sister is a nurse.

72. You consider "dilis" the Filipino equivalent of french fries.

73. You dip bread in your morning coffee.

74. "Goldilocks" means more to you just a character in Fairy Tale.

75. Your "baon" is usually something over rice.

76. You eat rice for breakfast.

77. You wash and re-use plastic utensils and styrofoam cups.

78. You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the freezer.

79. You have an ice-shaver for making halo-halo.

80. You have to have a bottle of Jufran Handy.

81. You know that chocolate meat isn't really made out of chocolate.

82. You spend holy week either performing acts of penitence or vacationing.

83. You get together with family at a cemetery on All Saint's day to eat, drink, and tell stories by you loved one's graves.

84. You think the Christmas season begins in September and ends in January.