Cyclone



Back to the workshop I guess? I gotta roll.

Ok. Now, all you need is an oil change.

Terry, where are you?

Hey, Long John, this is Rick Davenport. You remember me; I bought that '69 Triumph from you a while back. Woah, I'm not calling to complain about the bike. It's the best trumpet I ever had; it just needed a little TLC. Listen, ah I asked my girlfriend to stop by your shop on her way home to pick me up some oil. Has she been there? Yeah, that's her. What? Ah what… what time did she leave? Ok, thanks a lot Long John. Hey listen, I'll have to bring the Bonnie by, let you look at her. I cherried it out. Ok, see you.

You're late. I called Long John's looking for you. Since when do you let traffic slow you down?

Great. Very special paint. They use this on stealth bombers to beat radar, but I jazzed it up some. Hey! Oh, so so. I had a small glitch with the turbo repeller blades; you know how those little inner barrings can get you. But with my turbo modifications we're talking 60 psi or better. And with this nitrous oxide system, this thing is pushing out like 400 horses. Yeah, the Cyclone's about ready for the road. I got a few screws I have to torque here and there, an oil change.

Let's see, yeah that'll do. Thanks. Do we have to like shave our heads or something to get into this place? Ok, ok.

Amazing, this is a Whitworth one-inch. This is hand forged in Coventry. Where… who did you have to kill to get this? Thank you, this is great. I goes right into my collection. When we get our new house I'm gonna hang them all right on the living room wall.

Hey listen, do we really have to go to this Lava club? I know, I know I did. And I'll go but only if you say "it". Come on, say it. Just like I taught you. Come one, say it. I'll even dance. I'll dance. Come on. Yeah. Come on, I want it all. Uh huh, good. Oh god, I love it when you fuck up Einstein.

Is that the phone? Hello, hello. Ha ha ha. Look, I'm sorry you'll have to speak up I can't hear you. What do you want? Well, then look in the yellow pages for your local dealer, pal! No, it wasn't the project directors. Its just some crazy guy that keeps calling me. I don't know, something about lay out a suit forget about shoes. I don't know. Huh? No, no. It's just a crank call. I don't even own a suit. Don't worry about it. Hey, I thought you wanted to go dancing. Come on. Go get dressed, or undressed, or put a bolt through your nose, whatever it is you have to do get into this place. I will not work on that bike anymore. I will not. Ok. I won't.

Toom, toom, tuck tuck tuck tuck toom. Captain Ace Commando, on his last mission, searches the horizon for his archenemy. From which sector will he come? Suddenly, he sees him. Locks in on the target, steady men. Woah!

Hi. Oh boy. You see that guy? I saw him in med. school, except he was in a jar. He he he. I tell you, this place is outstanding. Ok. Oh yeah, ha ha. Yeah, oh yeah! Oh, a nerd am I? Is that better? Hmm.

Hello Terry. Your handprint activated the computer. I hope I didn't frighten you. I know this is pretty strange, but if you're listening to this I guess some pretty strange things have been happening around you already. I image you've probably been visited by some agency people who are plenty pissed off at me because they can't find the Cyclone. It had to be that way. I can't trust normal channels. There's a leak in the agency, maybe more than one. Listen to me carefully, I need your help. I need you to contact a friend of mine, his name is Bob Jenkins. I've taped his phone number underneath the phone in the living room. He's the only one in the agency I can trust. He'll be sure to get the Cyclone into the hands of the right people. You ok? Now, if you want to help me, punch the date we first meet into the computer. That will give you clearance and the program will continue, but only if you want to, Terry. You can push the erase button if you don't think you can handle it, I wouldn't blame you for a millisecond. That's my girl. I'll take you through a cram course in the operation of the Cyclone, it is pretty straightforward stuff. I think you can handle it. Cyclone has got everything, armor-plating, turbo-charging, firepower equal to an F16.

Oh, by the way, watch out for the oil plug. Now we're ready for the last and most important step. To your left, on the shelf, you'll see a paint can. Inside is the final component; who is going to look there right? It's called a transformer, it's the heart of the Cyclone. That little box can power a battleship all by itself, indefinitely. You're holding a source of inexhaustible fuel. The transformer sucks hydrogen out of the atmosphere and converts it to energy. The universe is filled with hydrogen, it's the air, the ocean, space itself, it is everywhere. What does that mean, no more dependence on fossil fuel. No nuclear pollution, just plain pure clean power. But the wrong people can't get ahold of the transformer. Trust Jenkins and no one else. On the bike you'll find a blue button next to the nitrous oxide bottle, it'll open the engine compartment. Now it is just like loading batteries into a flashlight, just slide the box in, push the button, and you're in business. If you have to remove the transformer, the bike will run on regular fuel but only with the transformer in place will the Cyclone's weapon system work. Ok, if you followed the directions on this tape, the Cyclone is now operational. Get it over to Jenkins and get out of this mess I've gotten you into.

I'm sorry, darling. Remember always, I love you.



Back to the Words of Combs