Ok, if your a goth from the south, or a goth who was been there, or a goth anywhere that rednecks may roam you know this problem-Rednecks don't always think goth is bad..in fact alot of times they think it's cool and try to act like they know what they are talking about so they can impress you. Ethier that ot they just falt out call you a freak or a faggot, which I can deal with alot better than the type of Rednecks who think we're cool and try to be us, below is an example, my crowning glory to my compliants section, something me and my boifriend have spent hours working on and laughing over..so without further ado..here it is..the one and only Red Necks Guide to Goth..a converstation in redneck speak about being "gathic". (note: if you can translate it's meaning then I will put your name on this webpage under the soon to be added "Goths who understabd redneck goth speak" section, so email me your translations!!!!)
Redneck Goth Conversation
(an on going work)
Redneck1: Hey man you know I was thinking...I think I'm one of them Goats.
RN2: Goats?
RN1: Yeah man you know, goat-hic rockers.
Rn2: oh yeah I think I am too cuz man I really like that band the moonspell, there soo gathic.
Rn1: hell yeah man, there sooo vampeer, that guy he says the word "vampeer"
Rn2: yeah vampeers are really cool man, I know some kids that play that game what is it, you know the vampeer role paying game?
Rn1: oh your talking about vampeer the mustard green, yeah man that game is gathic. everyone in there is pretending to be one of those nos-ferret-ass's.
Rn2: Yeah man we need to move to Ca.
Rn1: why ?
Rn2: Cuz stupid, eveyone in Ca is a gathic vampeer, Tom Petty told me so.
Rn1: Tom Petty, he likes to dance with those dead chicks, he's one of those necro-feel-your-ass's.
Rn2: yeah man, he's prolly one of those Sado-Botinists too. I had a cousin once who was one of those but he went crazy when he got abucted by Alien sex Fiend.
Rn1: He wasn't very nice anyway man, he liked to go around spray painting things, remember when the police picked him up and charged him with evangelism?
Rn2: oh yeah man, thats wronge.
Rn1: How do you know that..
Rn2: Cuz dumbass it says so in the bible.
Rn1: How do you know man?
Rn2: My grandma told me so stupid. But I think gathic stuff is cooler man, cuz gathic people worship the goat , like that gathic band the christian death, they worship the devil so they must be cool. But that gathic band Sisters of Mercy they aren't very kewl cuz man they are men and they are calling themselves sisters so i figgur they must be faggots.
Rn1:Yeah I like those bands that worship the goat, I like that band the Project Pitchfork, they must be like devil farmers or something, them and that band Die Farm.
Rn2: Hell yeah man my Grandma was one of those silly christmastians, but she might have been gathic cuz she was one of those cow-licks...and they got nuns and wear black alot.
Rn1: you know sometimes I sit around wishing I was the lestit, cuz then man I would be vampeer, plus I would know the Anne Ricearoni, and she's pretty cool.
Rn2: yeah and you would also know the Lious and the Armando, and man he's really vampeer for a spic.
Rn1: Yeah the Interview With a Vampeer was a good movie, but man I liked the Crow better..except I think the Jim Carry should have played the crow.
Rn2: yeah remember when there was that guy in the trailor park that looked just like the crow and I mean man he looked just like the Bruce Lee. What I don't get is I thought he used to make those kung food films.
Rn1: I dunno man, you know what though that band the project pitchfork, they got thier own record label, The Project Pitchfork Label.
Rn2: that's right that cool band Duct Tape my Blue Girl is on it, I like them man.
Rn1: You know who I like more than the Anne Ricearoni though? I like the Poppy-seed Lightbrite best.
Rn2: Yeah I know man she's got the Xena and the Twiggy and the Mallard-eye, and the nothing, man, and he's cool cuz he's part of the NIN it says so on the NIN Cd I have. And the NIN even covers that song Lost Souls so it must be true.
UPDATE: July 5th 1998- A couple weeks ago me and some of my friends were at a concert in downtown Nashville, it's one of those free concert deals they have down by the river. Anyways I just had to share the fun redneck experience we had. My friend Lynn had on a t-shirt from the silent movie Nosferatu, that had a pic from the movie and "nosferatu" written below it. We wre just standing around laughing at the local porno newsletters that they had laying out on some tables, and how ugly this redneck trash girl on the front of it was when this redneck guy who I swear looked like a redneck version of the basketball player Larry Bird comes up to us and peers at Lynn's shirt proclaiming in hick accent "Nos-fir-aw-too...is that german?". Lynn said "Uh huh" and the Redneck goes on to say "You one of them bludsuckers? I've got me some fangs see, there real" and proceeded to show us very plastic looking fake fangs in his mouth while telling us "I only drink me some animal blud though". We were about to crack up, so we quickly exited the scene, but not before we saw him pick up one of the free porno newspapers for the local strip clubs that we had been laughing at.
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