Naughty!!!!!!!!
There was a rich woman and a poor woman in the maternity ward. Each had
had her third child. The following conversation takes place:
Rich Woman: Honey chile, you know when I had my first baby, my husband
done got me a big ole diamond ring.!
Poor Woman: That's nice.
Rich Woman: An' you know, honey chile, when I had my second baby, my
husband done got me a brand new fur coat!
Poor Woman: That's nice.
Rich Woman: An' you know, honey chile, now that I've had my third baby,
my husband is gonna get me a brand new sports car!
Poor Woman: That's nice.
Rich Woman: Honey chile, did your husband ever get you anything when
you had any of your babies?
Poor Woman: Yes, as a matter of fact he did. After I had my first baby,
he sent me to charm school.
Rich Woman: Charm School?? Charm School?? What on earth did he ever
send you to Charm School for?
Poor Woman: So that I would say 'That's Nice' instead of "Fuck You".
A dwarf with a lisp goes to an agricultural show to buy a mare.
He wanders around until he comes across a beautiful mare inside a small
enclosure with a farmer standing at the gate. He goes up to the farmer
and says, "Excthuth me, can I have a look at your horth?" "Sure", says
the
farmer,"come on in." The dwarf wanders round and round the mare and
then stops, says to the
farmer "Her eyeth, her eyeth, I want to see her eyeth." The farmer
has to bend down and pick up the dwarf to show him the mare's eyes. "Nith
eyeth, nith eyeth, I like thith horth, I like thith horth, I think I want
to buy thith horth." Once again the dwarf wanders around the horse, in
turn asking the farmer to pick him up and show him the mare's ears and
exclaiming, "Nith earth, nith earth, I like thith horth, I like thith horth,
I think I want to buy thith horth." The farmer is starting to get pissed
off by this stage because the dwarf is quite heavy. Suddenly the dwarf
stops in his tracks and says, "Her twat. her twat, I want to see her twat!"
The farmer, infuriated, pick up the dwarf and drives him head first into
the mare's backside. He leaves the dwarf's little legs kicking and wanders
off to talk to his mates for a couple of minutes. He then comes back
and extracts the
dwarf from his predicament, "SCHLOOOOP!" The dwarf wipes himself down
and says. "I think I better wephrase that... I'd like to thee her gallop!"