If you eat this much of my Sandwich everyday for 1 week you will gain 6lbs!

If you eat this much of my Sandwich everyday for 2 weeks you will gain 24lbs and probably will spend alot of time on the toilet!

If you eat this much of my Sandwich everyday for 3 weeks you will gain 55lbs and will probably be getting Hemorrhoids from spending all that time on the toilet!

If you eat this much of my Sandwich everyday for 4 weeks you will gain 85lbs and you will be deep in shit!

UNLESS !!!

You follow Bigben's Quick Weight Loss Program below, after each Meal!

                         ==========================
                           BIGBEN'S DIET GUIDE TO
                           WEIGHT LOSS DURING SEX
                         ==========================

    ------------------------------------------------------------------
       ACTIVITY     CALORIES BURNED      ACTIVITY     CALORIES BURNED
    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    REMOVING CLOTHES:                 ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE:
    With partner's consent.....12     Shoes flew off...............35
    Without partner's consent.187     Expression didn't change....1/2
                                      Orchestra swelled.............6
    UNHOOKING BRA:                    Birds sang
    Using two calm hands........7      Large birds..................7
    Using one trembling hand...36      Small birds..................3
                                       Earth moved..................30

    Lifting partner............15     PULLING OUT:
    Dragging partner on floor..16     After orgasm................1/2
    Using skateboard............3     A few moments before orgasm.500

    ACHIEVING ERECTIONS:              PENIS ENVY:
    For normal healthy man....2.5     For woman.....................3
    Losing erection............14     For men......................72
    Searching for it..........115
                                      GUILT:
    PUTTING ON CONDOM:                Despite no formal training,
    With erection.............1.5     orgasm comes easily..........53
    Without erection..........300     You're enjoying sex,despite the
                                      fact that other people are
    INSERTING DIAPHRAGM:              starving......................2
    If the woman who does it is       Sex on your lunch hour........3
    Experienced.................6     Putting it on expense account..
    Inexperienced..............73                                  20
    If a man does it..........680     AGGRAVATION:
    Add (5) calories for retrieving   Partner keeps showing plants..5
    it from across the room.          Partner insists on cuddling the
                                      dog during foreplay..........14

    ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY:         Partner visiting bathroom for
    Italian- Man on top,woman in      7th time.....................10
    kitchen....................26     Partner taking phone calls....7
    Russian- Woman on bottom,         Partner making phone calls...40
    Man getting permission.....55
    American- Both on top......60     GETTING CAUGHT:
                                      By partner's spouse..........60
    SIDE EFFECTS INTERCOURSE:         By your spouse..............100
    Bouncing....................7     Trying to explain............55
    Sliding around..............9     Trying to remain calm.......100
    Serious skidding...........12     Leaping out of bed...........75
    Whiplash...................27     Getting dressed in one motion
                                                               500
                                      Thanking partner quickly......2
    ORGASM:
    Real.......................27
    Faked.....................160


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