This is kind of confusing, but it's the best i could do... the setup goes, quote, which character on the show said it, (in parenthesis who they said it as), the episode number, followed by the episode name abbreviation in parenthesis. Confusing, yes, but if you don't like it, then don't read it dammit...
"After years of waiting...you're gonna see the remaining 10% of my butt!" -Mike (as Magda). #818(DD)
"All the names are Russian for Alan Smithee." -Crow. #813(Jack Frost)
"...And the Lord said DIE CHILDREN DIE!!" -Joel (as the Giant Gila Monster). #402(tGGM)
"Any similarity to actual persons would be really sad." -Tom Servo. #814(RwD)
"Apply panties to *me*, Mike." -Crow. #819(IotNM)
"Boy, the sun's strong tonight." -Crow. #906(SC)
"But, keep in mind, I'm intensely stupid." -Crow (as Evans). #406(AotGL)
"Can I eat you when you die?" -Crow (as the Moon Puppy). #524(12ttM)
"Can I show you something in a size *me*?" -Crow (as Jimmy). #507(IAmP)
"Can we smoke?" "I don't care if you burst into flames." -Sergeant/Joel (as Glen). #309(tACM)
"Cigar?" "Why, yes, it is." -Capt. Joe/Tom Servo (as Ken). #310(FA)
"Congratulations. You are now officially white trash." -Crow. #209(HC)
"Day 12: The expedition turns whiny." -Tom Servo. #803(MP)
"Did you know that Nick went on to play... Pong in his underwear while drinking beer?" -Crow. #907(Hobgoblins)
"D'oh!...I filled my pants, sir...In fact, I think I filled yours too." -Mike (as Randy) #902(PP)
"Doctor Who...the hell cares?" -Crow. #822(OatMB)
“Does anyone know any songs about stock footage?” “Sure, I do, it goes like this… duh-duh duh duh-duh-duh EAT IT MOVIE! TAKE THIS FILTHY COCKROACH OF A MOVIE AND ROLL IT UP *SO TIGHT* AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR…” “Whoa Tom! Calm down!” Mike/Tom/Mike and Crow #819 (IotNM)
"Does this bug you? I'm not touching you..." -Crow (as Bat thingy). #311(ICtW) et al.
"Dolphins: one of the smartest mammals on Earth. Do they wear pants? No! But they *wish* they did. That's how smart they are!" -Tom Servo. #410(HatMM)
"Don't you *ever* do that again!!" -Mike. #521(SC)
"Don't you *get* it??" -Tom Servo. #K09(CP) et al.
"Do you want to make people's heads explode? Sure -- we all do!..." -Dr. Forrester. #511(Gunslinger)
"Ever get pieces of flesh caught in your teeth? I *hate* that!" -**. #203(JG)
"Everybody knows smoking kills, but it's cool! What are you gonna do? Everybody loves tar -- Sure, who doesn't? But scientists have known for well over a year that it's bad for you." -Joel. #301(CD)
"Frank, I'll give you three seconds to stop licking my face." "Count slow..." -Dr. Forrester/TV's Frank. #601(GT)
"God...imp batch." -Crow #806(tU)
"Hardly any animals were hurt in the making of this film." -Joel. #408(HU)
"Help me, Obi Wan...oh, wrong movie." -Crow. #806(tU)
"Here comes the bride, she's out of her frickin' mind..." -Mike. #805 (tTtCD)
"He's really my mentor... he taught me how to truly love a woman... from across the street... through a telescope." -Mike (as Dennis). #907(Hobgoblins)
"His head! It was torn off!!" "You say that like it was a *bad* thing." -**/ Tom Servo. #101(tCE)
"Hmmm...This one feels like a suppository."-Crow. #102(tRvtAM)
"I... am going... to KILL you! Why? Because you are going to die!" -Crow (as the Sea Monster). #213(GvtSM)
"I am HOT! I turn *myself* on!" -Tom Servo (as Brasiere). #317(VWatSS)
"I command you to shake that money-maker!!" -Crow (as Vorelli). #818(DD)
"I could watch this all day." "Oh, you *will*." -Tom Servo/Mike. #820(SM)
"I could watch this forever... and I have a feeling I probably will be..." -Mike. #907(Hobgoblins)
"I crap bigger than this movie..." -Crow (as Jack Palance). #519(Outlaw)
"I don't know where my friend went, but -- there's a pile of poop here with shoes in it!" -Tom Servo (as Itchy). #308(GvG)
"I don't mean to rush you, ma'am, but is this death going to take long?" -Tom Servo(as a Cop). #522(TCW)
"I don't need to see every part of the human anatomy outlined in Spandex! I can trust it's all there!" -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)
"I don't suppose there's any chance this guy's going to end up under the wheels of a train, is there?" -Tom Servo. #321(SCCtM)
"'I don't want to die, I don't want to die'... Look, I got problems too!!" -Crow. #504(SASD)
"I'd rather share a needle with Keith Richards." -Tom Servo (as Ken). #310(FA)
"I'd slap this movie if I could." -Tom Servo. #516(AfLA)
"If we don't get a volunteer, yer all gonna have to see my can!" -Crow (as Magda). #818(DD)
"If you're like me -- and I know *I* am..." -Joel. #212(GvM)
"I give not a crap for thee." -Tom Servo (as Hestia). #416(FMoOS)
"I hate movies where the men wear shorter skirts than the women." -Crow. #410(HatMM)
"I have the feeling *Satan* would regret making this movie." -Mike. #515(tWWWoBW)
"I hope they eat *him* first." -Crow. #523(VotG)
"I hope we've touched you with a little bit of our evilness." -Crow (as the Narrator). #307(Daddy-O)
"I just ate my own vomit!" -Joel (as Dirk Squarejaw). #201(RXM)
"I killed it and I'm glad." -Crow (as head of NASA). #201(RXM)
"I KILLED THAT FAT BARKEEP!!" -Mooney. #415(The Beatniks)
"I laughed... I cried... I cried *a lot*!..." -Tom Servo. #K05(GvZ)
"I love my dead Greek son!" -Tom Servo (as King Pelias). #502(Hercules)
"I love you, Tom Servo!" "I love you, Joel!" "I love you, Crow!" "You're not my real father!" Joel/Tom Servo/Joel/Crow. #303(PP)
"I'm gonna moon you, man, I'm gonna MOON you!!" "Well, that's gonna be tough, 'cause you really don't have a hinder to speak of." -Crow/Tom Servo. #415(Beatniks)
"I'm huge!" -Joel (as Detective). #207(WR) et al.
"I'm LONG!" -Crow (as Laertes). #408(HU)
"I'm *mental*, not *stupid*!" -Tom Servo (as Seraphina). #601(GT)
"I'm not holding back anything!" "Certainly talent." -Natalie/Crow. #904(Werewolf)
"I'm requesting this movie jump up my butt!" -Crow. #822(OatMB)
"I'm sorry, your *what* hurts?" -Tom Servo. #408(HU)
"I'm so upset that I'll binge on a Saltine." -Crow (as Mom). #812(TISC...)
"I'm squishy and I need to move on it!" -Mike (as Judy). #610(tVY)
"I'm starting to think Peter Graves didn't invest much time in this movie." -Tom. #811(p:TCH)
"I'm tempted to call her something that rhymes with 'bitch'!" -Gypsy. #607(Bloodlust!)
"I'm the god, I'M THE GOD!!!" -TV's Frank. #201(RXM)
"I'm thinkin' of tellin' my wife I love her... ... ... NAHHHH!!!" -Crow (as the Truck Farmer). #507(IAmP)
"It's all hot and it hurts and stuff!" -Tom Servo (as Linda). #104(WotPP) et al.
"It's tasteless, odorless, and leaves no trace in the human body." "Velveeta?" -Coleman/Crow. #504(SASD)
"It's the All-Idiot Channel!" -**. #212(GvM)
"It's the blind leading the bland." -Crow. #420(tHD)
"It turns out that there *are* small parts, *and* small actors! -Mike. #904(Werewolf)
"I wet 'em!" -Tom Servo (as Roxanne). #212(GvM)
"I *will* kill him!!" -Tom Servo. #202(Sidehackers)
"I will not tell a lie. God, my teeth hurt! Thank you!
"JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDD!!!"-Tom. #802(LW)
"Just as long as Demi Moore doesn't come out and start shaking her saline bags." -Crow. #907(Hobgoblins)
"Kids worship the darndest things!" -Joel. #424(M:tHoF)
"Kill yourself!" -Cambot. #513-624. (Robot Roll Call.)
"Let's crap in our hands and throw it at people! Heh heh... You know, no matter how much you evolve, that's still damn funny." -Crow (as Ape Lieutenant). #306(TotA)
"Live fast, die young, and leave a fat, bloated, ugly corpse." -Tom Servo. #207(WR)
"Look -- anal-retentive snakes. They lined up the skulls." -Tom Servo. #301(CD)
"Look, if I want my opinion I'll beat it out of me!" -Dr. Forrester. #309(tACM)
''Luxembourg--every day, get on your bony, European knees and thank your lucky stars you're not Japan.'' -Crow. #819(IotNM)
"Make it personal. Hurt their feelings if you can." -Tom Servo (as Rocky Jones). #413(MiS)
"Man... his shirt's so tight, you can see his liver!" -Crow. #607(Bloodlust!)
"Maybe I dialed wrong. Let me try again. Let's see... 'zero'." -Tom Servo (as Tom Gregory). #108(SP)
"Maybe the Japanese didn't know they were making a *film*, per se. Maybe they were doing
something like fabric sculpture." -Crow. #819(IotNM)
"May I take your skirt?" -Tom Servo (as Toby). #105(tCV)
"MaY i uSE yOuR BatHroOM?" -Torgo. #508(OD007)
"Meanwhile, at Kurt Cobain's house..." -Tom Servo. #513(tBtWD)
"Meanwhile, back on the _Greasy Bastard_..." -Crow. #314(MJ)
"Meet the Hobgoblins! Frankie... Sniffles... Bounce-Bounce... and The Claw!"- Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)
"Microsoft Service. Could you hold for an hour?" -**. #324(MN2)
"Mike, if I run out of vomit, can I have some of yours?" -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)
"Mind if I smell your daughter?" -Crow (as **). #312(GvG)
"Mitchell... Even his name says, 'Is that a beer?'" -Joel. #512(Mitchell)
"Mmmm... Donuts and gray-water!" -Crow. #312(GvG)
"Mmmm... your lips are like crisp, delicious bacon..." -Tom Servo (as Dean). #607(Bloodlust!)
"Mom! No!! She's putting out for a nickel! ... I have no mother..." -Tom Servo. #523(VotG)
"Monkey love pile on me!" -Joel (as Charlie). #204(CC)
"Mother Theresa called... She hates you." -Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)
"Mount your horses, gentlemen." "We're not *that* lonely!" -Sir Branton/Crow (as George). #411(tMS)
"My god you're ugly..." -Crow (as Neil Striker). #305(SiS) et al.
"My shorts are never boring." "Thank you, Tom." -Tom Servo/Joel. #102(tRvtAM)
"My spirit is snoring!" -Tom Servo. #208(LC)
"*My* transmitter?! Look, dickweed..." -Crow (as Herringway). #211(FSoV)
"Nellie Manley, who's real name is Sissy Macho." -Crow. #906(SC)
"Never trust a man with two first names, especially if one of them's a woman's." -Joel. #K22(LotD)
"Never, under any circumstances, drive with your butt-cheeks." -** (as Narrator). #520(RSS)
"New rule, Frank: Don't ever touch me." -Dr. Forrester. #407(tKS)
"Nice caboose on that girl... What am I saying?!? That's my daughter!! ... I *am* mad!" -Tom Servo (as Dr. Cameron). #103(MM)
"Nice hinder, son." "Thanks, dad." "I meant the girl!!!" -Tom Servo (as Tom Grant)/Crow (as Ben). #522(TCW)
"Nipple nipple tweak tweak FLY!!..." -Tom Servo (as Commando Cody).#105(tCV) et al.
"No, Edward! Don't do it!" "DO IT, EDWARD, DO IT!!" -Flora/All. #102(tRvtAM)
"No, I'm saving myself for the right oily drifter." -Joel (as Carrie (she's so very)). #509(tGiLL)
"'No, Joel, *you* can't go to Woodstock, *you're* only nine years old...'" -Joel. #204(CC)
"No monologues with poopie pants, please." -Tom Servo. #821(TC)
"No one could hold a candle to him in this role. Well, maybe they could douse him in something flammable and *then* hold a candle to him." -Crow. #105(tCV)
"No self-respecting scientist would have his shirt unbuttoned that far." -Tom Servo. #106(tCH)
"Not since the Fuzzy Zoeller and Lee Trevino collision has there been a worse golf cart accident." -Mike. #820(SM)
"*Not-so-Red-Hot* Nurses." -Mike. #818(DD)
"Now, don't you kids get drunk and go swimming under the dock. (Doodly doodly doodly...) Help! I'm drunk and I'm swimming under the dock!!" -Tom Servo. #502(Hercules)
"Objection! The use of the term 'nipple' is imprecise, incorrect, and misleading -- though, I admit, mildly provocative..." -Tom Servo. #108(SP)
"Off to meet my doom, Mom! See you after school!" -Joel (as Johnny). #306(TotA)
"Oh, and, uh, you're married to me, that was the other thing..." -**. #316(GvZ)
"Oh, as if *you're* the only person who ever got their head cut off. Quit whining!" -Tom Servo. #513(tBtWD)
"Oh, bite me. It's fun!" -Joel (as Zor). #301(CD) et al.
"Oh, fine. Everyone pick on the Devil." -Mike. #603(tDTB)
"Oh, god... I was gonna get through this movie without thinking about his hips, and now *this*!..." -Mike. #515(tWWWoBW)
"Oh -- God, no!! Does he have room for *her* down there?!" -Crow. #423(BotM)
"Oh, great. Another oily, unlikable character." -Crow. #419(tRS)
"Oh I'd hate to shoot a butt like that!" -Tom Servo. #102(tRvtAM) et al.
"Oh -- I forgot France! Oh, well..." -Mike (as Santa). #521(SC)
"Oh, I'm sorry... the donkey mud wrestlers are supposed to use the *rear* entrance." "Well, you're the expert on that." -Emcee/Crow. #907(Hobgoblins)
"Oh, I see some *really* stupid children being born as a result of these two meeting." -Tom Servo. #904(Werewolf)
"Oh my god, he's playing dress-up! NO! NO!!!..." -Tom Servo. #321(SCCtM)
"Oh my god! The humidifier committed suicide!!" -**. #212(GvM)
"Oh, Nelson. So close and yet so not." -Dr. Forrester. #522(TCW)
"Oh, no! My aunt's coming to take me to the Michael Bolton concert!" -Tom Servo. #502(Hercules)
"Oh, no!! They *licked* her to death!" "I *knowwww*..." -Tom Servo/Crow. #317(VWatSS)
"Oh, oh, *big* man! You strangle a plush toy." -Crow (as hobgoblins). #907(Hobgoblins)
"Oh! Oh! Oh!...the sawgrass...oh...I shouldn't have worn my little shorts." -Mike (as kid). #819(IotNM)
"Oh, please little fart...stay inside my dress." -Tom Servo (as Marian). #818(DD)
"Oh, pooh -- I'm in the pit of Hell." -Tom Servo (as Kathy Ireland). #516(AfLA)
"Oh, poor kid.. and he had so little promise! -Mike (as McReany). #907(Hobgoblins)
"Oh -- See, gays in the military, right there." -Joel. #508(OD007)
"Oh, she's a Ouija *broad*!" -Tom Servo. #805(tTTCD)
"Oh, the guy's got an upper back fetish." -Mike. #818(DD)
"Oh, the tension... will they water their lawn?" -Mike. #907(Hobgoblins)
"Oh, this is a great date. I've always wanted to be nuzzled by a hobo." -Joel (as Carrie). #509(tGiLL)
"Okay, guys. Don't frag me again." -Tom Servo (as Col. Caldwell). #606(tCT)
"Okay, show of hands: Who wet 'em?" -Mike (as the Sheriff). #523(VotG)
"Once again, Big has saved Danny from a heterosexual experience." -Joel. #509(tGiLL)
"Ooh, that's good lard..." -TV's Frank. #312(GvG)
"Oscar Wilde only *wished* he were this gay." -Joel. #319(WotCB)
"Our minds play strange tricks on us sometimes." "Yeah, like that weiner- between-the-fingers trick!" -Dr. Lorenz/Joel. #105(tCV)
"Outtakes from the Manson Family Christmaas." -Crow. #812(TISC...)
"Ow!! I fell on my keys!" -Crow (as Hercules). #408(HU) et al.
"Owowowowww! Somebody put Wasabe in our jocks!!" -Crow (as Japanese guys). #819(IotNM)
"Ow!! Right in the Winky..." -Tom Servo. #413(MiS)
"Paint my muscle car *prune* color, please!" -Crow (as Kevin). #907(Hobgoblins)
"Pervert-Burger!" -Crow (as Jack Elam). #509(tGiLL)
"Pretty please, with Herc on top?" -Crow (as Hercules). #502(Hercules)
"Probation isn't a right, it's a privilege." "Like stretch pants." -Probation Officer/Crow. #601(GT)
"Pull my finger." -Crow (as Glen). #309(tACM) et al.
"Pulse normal... Heartbeat faint but regular... Respiration steady... Reactions, none..." "Wait a minute -- that's *me*!" -Sharon/Joel (as John Carradine). #320(The Unearthly)
"Remind me to hit you later." -Crow (as Bartender). #207(WR)
"Remind me to kill you later." -Tom Servo (as Hugh Beaumont). #208(LC)
"Riverdance...the strip show." -Tom. #812(TISC)
"Sadly, Sinbad wandered to the edge of the enchanted sea..." "...and had a magic B.M." -Narrator/Tom Servo (as Narrator). #505(tMVoS)
"Seen it... hated it... taped it..." -Tom Servo/Joel/Crow. #304(GvB)
"See no evil... Well, maybe just a little. Yeah!..." -Joel (as Kiko the Monkey). #104(WotPP)
"She really likes me! Really...sure, I hypnotized her a little to part...but I can tell she really likes me!!" -Tom Servo (as Vorelli). #818(DD)
"She's got an armadillo down 'er trousers!" -Crow (as Captain). #820(SM)
"She's the kind of girl you bring home to Mother... if Mother is a cigaretty, retired hooker." -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)
"She wouldn't have me on a silver platter." "How about on an air mattress slathered with butter?" -Major Moore/Tom Servo. #109(PMB)
"Sir Bob of Packwood." -Crow. #806(tU)
"So...ancient lesbian nuns run the future." -Crow. #822(OatMB)
"So, in the future kids become gay agents." -Tom Servo. #821(TC)
"So, in the future there is absolutely no shame." -Mike. #820(SM)
"So, what does a mushroom eat for hallucinations?" -Crow. #813(JF)
"So what was that whole hitting-me-with-chains thing about?" -Crow (as Lee). #403(CL)
"Spankin' time!" -Joel. #319(WotCB)
"Special effects by _Industrial Light and Morons_." -Mike. #820(SM)
"Spill your drinks on me!" "No, they cost four dollars each!" -Amy/Mike. #907(Hobgoblins)
"Splash me on in the morning, wear the great smell of *me* all day long." -Tom Servo (as Hercules). #410(HatMM)
"Spoken like a true fart." -Tom Servo (as Diamond Head). #608(CN:DH)
"Stop zooming in! I have no emotions to show you!" -Mike. #819(IotNM)
"Suppository Man." -Tom. #819(IotNM)
"Take us away, little shorts!" -Mike (as kids). #819(IotNM)
"Teat teat teat teat teat teat..." -Crow and Tom Servo. #516(AfLA)
"Technicolor wishes to apologize for its use in this film." -Tom. #814(RwD)
"That's 40 pounds of butt in 30-pound butt capacity pants!" -Mike. #515(tWWWoBW)
"That's me, except I'm moist." -Tom Servo. #420(HD)
"That said, please enjoy your crappy sci-fi movie." -Mike. #902(PP)
"That should be my Life Haters Club calling." Tom. #905 (DB)
"That's right, we're evil, EVIL!!!" -TV's Frank. #202(Sidehackers)
"That was one wierd-ass movie." -Tom Servo. #509(tGiLL)
"*The Box*, Frank, *The Box*!..." -Dr. Forrester. #422(tDtEF)
"The diamond anniversary ring. Tell her you'd marry her right out of high school...all over again." -Tom. #810(GSI)
"The monster can destroy everything with its tongue." "*You* try saying that without laughing." -Japanese General/Crow. #304(GvB)
"The *most* face ANY screen has held." -Tom Servo. #822(OatMB)
"The music, the mood, the sweeping romance of peeping." -**. #805(tTTCD)
"The old man calls it his *combat rod*? That's disgusting!!" -Tom Servo. #902(PP)
"The other day I said the word *damn*!! Huh, huh, huh!!" -Crow (as old party guest). #818(DD)
"The Pant Association urges you to wear pants at least three times a day!" -Joel. #410(HatMM)
"The *Roji Panty Complex*?!!" -Mike. #819(IotNM)
"They made love in their Chevy van and it's *not* allright with me!" -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)
"This guy leaves grease stains in the air as he walks." -**. #808(tSC)
"This is gonna suck..." -Crow. #421(MaGG)
"This is how much pure cocaine you would need to watch this picture." -Mike. #822(OatMB)
"This movie is giving me *current* traumatic stress disorder!" -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)
"This movie is just ropes and asses!" - Mike. #803(tMP)
"This movie is just sitting on my head and crushing it." -Joel. #511(Gunslinger)
"This movie sucks, Joel." -Tom Servo. #323(CoFM)
"This movie was like spending the weekend with your dentist." -Crow. #207(WR)
"This scene has powerful asexual overtones." -**. #805(tTTCD)
"Thrill as he doesn't talk, and I don't move my lips." -Crow (as Vorelli). #818(DD)
"Through this maximum glass-area front, across the narrow rail, and through the wider sales-design top opening..." "To grandmother's house we go!" -Narrator/Tom Servo. #603(tDTB)
"'...tied his ass to the tree...' Heh heh heh. Love that." -Tom Servo (as Tom Grant). #522(TCW)
"To me, that leash screams 'unhealthy relationship'." -Crow. #515(tWWWoBW)
"Tom, I don't get you." "Nobody does. I'm the wind, baby!" -Gypsy/Tom Servo. #421(MaGG)
"Tornado Magnet Trailer Park welcomes you!" -Mike. #906(SC)
"Two different plaids...I'm just a naked robot and even *I* know that's a fashion no-no." -Tom Servo. #821(TC)
"Two words: Get over it!!" -Dr. Forrester. #414(Tormented)
"Uh oh -- I just passed wind in my suit. I ask you, as a point of honor, give me a second." -Tom Servo (as Okasa). #322(MN1)
"Uh oh! She's getting squishy!..." -Tom Servo. #610(tVY)
"Um...that's poison ok on your naughty bits..." -Crow. #822(OatMB)
"Underoos are fun to wear..." -**. #110(RH)
"Walk quietly among other men, but know their power for they are your enemies. Quietly crush them as you work diligently through the night. Pay attention to the man behind the curtain, for he is your ally. Drink deeply and lustfully from the foamy draught of evil... Uh, do it to the other guy before he does it to you, and be bad to the bone. Won't you? Thank you." -Dr. Forrester. #308(GvG)
"Wall-mounted keyboards...It must be *THE FUTURE*!!!" -Crow. #820(SM)
"We don't want you to pray *for* us, we want you to pray *to* us!" -Dr. Forrester. #204(CC)
"We just took your libido and starched and pressed it." -Crow (as the Narrator). #510(L:tPH)
"Welcome to *my* Flagstaff, ifyaknowwhatImean." -Tom (as Paul). #904(AW)
"Well, I'd better be going. It's been sleazy and all, but, uh..." -Crow (as Dr. Courtner). #513(tBtWD)
"Mike: We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese!
Tom Servo: Fridge Largemeat!
Mike: Punt Speedchunk!
Crow: Butch Deadlift!
Mike: Flint Ironstag!
Crow: Bolt Vanderhuge!
Servo: Trunk Slamchest!
Crow: Fist Rockbone!
Mike: Stump Beefknob!
Servo: Smash Lampjaw!
Crow: Punch Rockgroin!
Mike: Buck Plankchest!
Crow: Stump Chunkman!
Servo: Dirk Hardpeck!
Mike: Rip Steakface!
Crow: Slate Slabrock!
Servo: Crud Bonemeal!
Mike: Brick Hardmeat!
Crow: Rip Slagcheek!
Servo: Punch Sideiron!
Mike: Gristle McThornbody!
Crow: Slake Fistcrunch!
Mike: Buff Hardback!
Servo: Bob Johnson! Oh, wait...Lump Beefbroth!
Crow: Touch Rustrod!
Mike: Reef Blastbody! Big McLargehuge! Smoke Manmuscle! Roll Fizzlebeef!" ALL- #820(SM)
"We've whipped the problem of skin friction on the warhead..." "Uh, are we talking about the same thing here, buddy?" -**. #205(RAUSA)
"We were just saying goodbye...""...with our reproductive organs." -Adam Chance/Crow. #815(AFH)
"What is this -- 'Pantsless Motorcycle Repair'?" -Tom Servo. #403(CL)
"When you want the flavor of bacon in a dip." -Crow. #903 (PM)
"Where's your spirit of adventure?" "Uh, that's in my other pants." -"Chief"/ Tom Servo (as Engineer Bradley). #104(WotPP)
"White goddess having trouble?" "White fascist getting smart?" -Bob/** (as White Goddess). #203(JG)
"Who's bad?" "Tom Servo!" "*Who's bad*?" "Tom Servo!!" -Tom Servo/All. #102(tRvtAM)
"Why doesn't the movie just cover him in cat vomit?" -Tom Servo. #821(TC)
"WOULD YOU SHUT THE BLOODY ORGAN GRINDER UP!!" -Crow. #521(SC)
"Wow...I think I saw the little sizzler there, Hank." -Mike (as dancing girl's partner). #812(TISC...)
"Yeah, kids are always mutilating people." -Crow. #421(MaGG)
"...yeah the Devil made this movie for you..." -Mike. #515(tWWWoBW)
"You feel a hand inside you? Uncomfortable, huh?" -Mike (as Hobgoblins). #907(Hobgoblins)
"You know, this movie *can* be used to induce vomiting." -Mike. #815(AFH)
"You know, this movie makes me want to go clubbing... the director of this film! Where is he?" -Tom Servo. #907(Hobgoblins)
"You know what burns my butt? A flame about this high." -Joel (as skinny comic-relief guy). #308(GvG)
"You know what the fellow says -- drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!" "It's not that funny when it's *true*, Ed." -Guy in Bar/Crow (as another Guy in Bar). #602(IUSA)
"You're so stupid you couldn't tell rabbit turds from Rice Krispies." “Snap crackle poop.” –Hick/Crow #810(GSI)
Mike: “You people bring matches for Mikey?”
Tom: “YOU HEAR ME!? YOU HEAR ME!? I DON’T CARE WHAT MIKEY SAY OR MIKEY DO, DON’T GIVE HIM NO MATCHES! I DON’T CARE IF MIKEY COME CRAWLING IN THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, STARK NAKED WITH A BIG OLD KNIFE! DON’T YOU GIVE NO MATCHES TO MIKEY! DON’T YOU GIVE NO MATCHES TO MIKEY! SHUT UP, MIKEY! SHUT UP, LLAMA! DON’T GIVE HIM NO MATCHES! NO MATCHES TO MIKEY! SHUT UP MIKEY!”
"You suck, Mike." -Crow. #**