QUOTABLE KEITH

[Keith Smiling]

PHOTO BY BOB GRUEN

QUOTES UPDATED 8/09/02

  • "I don't regret nuthin'" 1980

  • "It was a magical time, because I actually managed to turn my little juvenile fantasies into a way of life." 1987

  • "Rock & Roll hit England like Hiroshima" 1988

  • "I have no doubt I could write for the Queen Mother if I had to" 1973

  • "I reckon there are 3 reasons why American R&B stars don't click with British teeange fans. One they're old; two they're black;three, they're ugly." 1965

  • "5 strings, 2 fingers, one asshole (Keith on open G tuning)"

  • "When I started, all I wanted to do was play like Chuck (Berry)" 1992

  • "I used to pose in front of the mirror at home. I was hopeful. The only thing I was lacking was a bit of bread to buy an instrument. But I got the moves off first, and I got the guitar later."

  • "Chucked out of nightclubs, birds'd poke their tongues at me, that kind of scene. And then, suddenly Adonis!"

  • "Future? Know something? I never even think about it. Today's what counts. Ambitions? Things are fine now. But I want to keep on writing songs with Mick. It's a good partnership-I think-we never seem to be short of ideas." 1966

  • "There was extra hassles between Brian and me because I took his old lady. You know, he enjoyed beating up chicks. Not a likeable guy."

  • "We are not old men, we are not worried about petty morals." Keith in court, 1967

  • "I don't think rock n' roll songwriters should worry about art. I don't think it comes into it...as far as I'm concerned, Art is just short for Arthur."

  • "Studios are like airports. They're all the same. It's always a shock when I walk out & realize I'm in Jamaica, Munich, Los Angeles."

  • "I never had a problem with drugs, only with cops."

  • "I'm not a kid anymore, and I've thought to myself, 'How long can I keep doing this?' But within the narrow confines of rock n' roll, it's for me to find out how to use my experience & produce something that hopefully is worth listening to. Like I said, somebody has to find out how far you can take this thing, and I guess it might as well be me!"

  • "The only things Mick & I disagree about is the band, the music & what we do."

  • "Maybe Bill's happy running his restaurants & marrying people he never sees again. I don't know."

  • "Charlie Watts is my absolute favourite. He has all of the qualities that I like in people. Great sense of humor, a lovely streak of eccentricity, a real talent, very modest."

  • "I never wanted to do a solo record until I started doing it."

  • "I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." 1997

  • "There's only one fatal disease, I've concluded. It's called hypchondria. And it is deadly." 1997

  • "I cry quite often." 1997

  • "The baboon cage was my room way before Elton got into this thing." 1997

  • "I can only put it down to jealousy. They can't understand why I can do what I do at 'my age.' What is it worth to these guys? Because they can't do it? Just because chicks throw their panties at me & I'm 54? So? So, I'm sorry, you little boys who can't get that action. Well stuff you..." 1997

  • "The only recurring dreams I can remember are all on cold turkey, and it was always that the dope was hidden behind the wallpaper. And in the morning, you'd wake up & see fingernail marks where you actually tried to do something about it." 1997

  • "We had enormous gunfights about which songs to play. Everything was cool. Once the smoke cleared." 1997

  • "There's an excellent book I've quite often read called "Hashish", by a couple of French guys. Very interesting. It's an education in chemistry & folklore. I've done the Bible & the Koran a few times. Sometimes just for the prose, sometimes for the information. The Kamasutra I've been through a few times, come to think of it. (laughing) I've done the chandelier, and the revolving table with melon. I've done it all mate."

  • "Groupies, ah. I still get palpitations thinking back about them. Honestly!" March 1998 submitted by Thierry

  • "I would have loved to have been a pirate. I am fascinated with the idea of standing on one's own two feet. The idea of freedom, of being responsible to oneself only, of accepting no authority. That's probably one reason why I became a musician. Because ever since I left school, nobody has ever heard a "Yes, Sir" from me. Apart from a few exceptions: in court and in jail." March 1998 submitted by Thierry

  • "Nobody ever wondered why the blues men were on stage until their old age: Muddy, Howlin' Wolf, Duke Ellington, Count Basie, and so on. It's the same with us: Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can! We play because we can. We do what we have to." March 1998 submitted by Thierry

  • On the death of Kurt Cobain: "The kid couldn't cope." submitted by Dag Eidem

  • Do you still listen and Jam to the old tunes that you started with - Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, etc.??? "Just about every day or so, especially if Ronnie's in the room or some of the other guys from the band. That's staple diet." Submitted by Mario

  • On Punk Rock:
    "What's the point of listening to that shit? It's for mass-media consumption anyway."
    submitted by Ed Jones

  • "My epitaph will be: Fuckers! I told you I wasn't feeling well"
    submitted by Alain Rosan

  • "The band is getting better & better. The guys are knocking me out, ya know. And that makes me happy and when I'm happy it keeps everybody else happy because when I'm unhappy, forget about it."

  • "These tours develop their own strains of bacteria & bugs. They make their own diseases. There's always somebody under the weather..."

  • "Listen, either those cat coolin' man, or we don't play"--Altamont submitted by Manuel Lazcano

  • "Nobody's got the right to judge over what I am putting into my body, apart from myself."

  • "I Expected him to come in like this (changes his voice and raises his arm in a threatening gesture): "Where have you been, you little sod." Instead, this little man comes in and says: "Hello, son, how are you?" It made my heart bleed. (on meeting his dad after 20 years)"

  • "This morning, when I was listening to Vivaldi's "Four Seasons," tears came to my eyes."

  • "I've been playing with it (Internet) and done a few Internet interviews, but I'd rather leave it to my kids. I'm just not interested what other arseholes at the other end of the world think. about this or that. Apart from that, it's no good for your body or your eyes to sit at the computer all day."

  • "I would try to keep a few people alive, who don't really have a chance. Love thy neighbor! I can't get any more Christian. Brotherly love is not such a bad thing, actually. And it would be nice to be able to live without fear."

  • "....the man seems to like singing songs about dead blondes. (Keith on Elton John)"

  • "Well, quite a fascinating phenomenon. They're really just a lot of tarts! Can they sing? No! Can they play? No! The world's gone mad, it needs something like them. But they won't stay very long. (Keith on the Spice Girls)"

  • "I would tell the genie: Do something for the others. Help the Africans, help those who hate each other. Help them to overcome this hatred! I don't need anything. I got enough! Go and use my wish for the others."

  • "Yes, damn it, I've always been. Sometimes more, sometimes less. But on the whole, I am happy. Yes! (asked if he's happy)"

  • "Mick was the first to pull out and follow his solo ambitions. I cursed him for it."

  • "At the end of the Seventies, with the emergence of the punks, we were denigrated as boring old farts. But it was a good kick in the butt."

    Above quotes submitted by Manuel Lazcano

  • 'Look, I don't want any more of these jokes on my memos. They're too esoteric.'

  • 'Nobody starts off to play an instrument with the idea off making money. You learn the guitar because you have this burning desire.'

  • 'When Mick plays the harmonica, it's the only time he's not thinking. It comes up from inside of him, and you get the pure unadulaterated Mick Jagger.'

  • [Danny Markus to Keef] - 'This is the last indoor gig and I hope it's going to be really good.' Keith - 'Tell that to the members of the band who are awake.'

  • [On hearing Elton John wants to throw a party for them] 'Only if he gives us a Rembrandt each.'

  • [Speaking in later years] 'My life then basically was 'Do I have the dope to start this day off? Can I make it until the next fix? You think you're in this elite club. You could be wallowing in the gutter and think, 'I'm elite.' It was an adventurous experiment that went on too long.

  • from Phelge's book - 'Always the same in England, they never put any fucking bass on anything, it's like they're frightened to turn it up.' Keef.

  • 'How would you like a smack in the fuckin' mouth? You wanna learn to keep your *fucking* mouth shut or someone might put their fist in it.'


    Above quotes submitted by Kathleen Menzies

  • (On being shown a photo of Anita) "Stupid bitch...I'll always love her."

    Submitted by lettingitbleed@aol.com

  • "I draw the line at swami's" Keith on the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi on Beatles Revolution TV special

  • "Nothing's ever perfect"

    submitted by ssdpainter@aol.com

  • "The First act of violance" Keith Richards upon arriving at Altamont Speedway

    submitted by Evan Gallerani

  • "Puff Daddy is a piece of crap."

    submitted by Martin Klatt

  • "When I first met Muddy Waters he was painting the bloody ceiling." (at Chess Records Studios)

    submitted by Martin Klatt

  • Keith says..."I want to get the right ar- ar- ar- (Ron Woods says Arthur/ Author) ar- ar- arpeggio"

    Submitted by Martin Klatt

  • There was this journalist, I think sometime in the early 70's, who wanted to have an interview with Keith and tried to persuade Keith by saying that he (the journalist) was the best one around on the Northern Hemisphere. Keith, not in the mood for an interview, replied: 'So what, I'm the best musician on the Northern Hemisphere'.

    Submitted by Sander Haasbroek

  • "Dog shit in the Doorway" Keith on Mick's solo album "Goddess in the Doorway" 2002

    Submitted by Phyllis Pollack

  • "It's a paltry honour. He's joining the brown-noses." On Mick's Knighthood June 2002

  • "I haven't stopped smoking...anything" Aug. 2002

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