When I was stationed in Germany, we used to engage in an activity we referred to as "castle hunting". The objective (ostensibly) was to go somewhere we hadn't been before and "find the castle". We avoided places with famous castles, since that would make the search too easy.

The first Saturday after payday, we'd go to the NCO club and cash some dollars into Deutschemarks, then go across the street to the taxi stand and get a ride to the train station in town. During the ride, we'd encourage the taxi driver to go as fast as possible, just for the sheer novelty of legally travelling faster than 55 mph (which was the national speed limit in the U.S. at that time).

When we got to the train station, we'd find some place on the map we hadn't been before and buy second-class tickets to that place. First class is too much like riding on an airliner, but second class got to sit in the old-fashioned compartments! We bought some snacks, got on the train, and went to our destination.

When we arrived, we would start looking for the castle. Of course, being ignorant Americans, we had a broader definition of what constituted a castle than the Germans did, but that just meant we were unlikely to be dissappointed. While we looked for the castle, we would wander around town, looking at all the historical sites, admiring the cars we never saw in the states, and occasionally stopping at a streetside beer stand to get refreshments (I really miss currywurst). We got plenty of opportunities to use our (mostly poorly-spoken) German and the Germans got an opportunity to use their (often better than ours) English on us.

Occasionally a shop would catch our attention.

"Hey! Look at this!"

"What is that stuff?"

[Sniffs] "It's gingerbread!"

We would all traipse inside and purchase some of whatever the product was. Bakeries and wine cellars were always favorites.

Eventually we would find a castle. Of course, the Germans wouldn't always agree.

[Spoken in pidgin German:] ~How old is that castle?~

[Spoken in real German or sometimes very good English:] "What castle?"

~That one over there.~

"That's not a castle. It's a Monestary"

Monestary? Riiiight!

• It was a stone fortress built before the New World was settled by anyone who's ancestors hadn't walked there in the first place.

• It was on the highest hill in the area, with a commanding view of the surrounding countryside.

• Apart from a paved, 2-lane road that was built in the 1950s, the only access to the place was afforded by a narrow dirt track that meandered up the steepest part of the hill.

• The entire hill was terraced in 5-foot steps, making it impossible to charge up it on horseback or even on foot.

• The only trail up the hill was littered with ambuscades and murder holes. Anyone who didn't want visitors could unpleasantly surprise unwanted "guests" at will.

• When you got to the top the ground around the place was clear and flat so anyone trying to approach could not rely upon stealth, nor hide behind anything.

• The structure itself had no windows below 18 feet, and those were arrow slits. The top was crenellated so archers and stone-throwers would have some cover when "discouraging" uninvited guests.

• The only doors at ground level were iron-bound oak about 10 inches thick. The entryway behind the doors had a grate above it through which arrows or boiling oil could be easily rained down on any gate-crashers.

You can't tell me that wasn't a castle. It might have been a monestary, but it was a monestary built by folks who wanted to be sure of their privacy.

--Baloo

P.S.: It never occurred to me at the time, but I think the German word for "castle" might have implied that nobility lived there, whereas the English word includes "stone or brick fortress" as part of the definition.

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