Len wrote Sun 7/20/14 @10:42 EDT:

I disagree with you and agree with "Publius Leget" about the use
of the word "industry"  to describe fishing.  According to the Ox-
ford English Dictionary online:

noun (plural industries)

1  Economic activity concerned with the processing of raw
    materials and manufacture of goods in factories: the com-
    petitiveness of American industry

1.1 [with adjective or noun modifier]  A particular form  or
    branch of economic or commercial activity: the car indus-
    try the tourist industry

1.2 [with adjective or noun modifier] informal An activity or
    domain in which a great deal of time or effort is expended:
    the Shakespeare industry

An industry doesn't require manufacture in a factory, according to
definition 1.1 and 1.2.  For that matter,  seafood is also processed
in factories, and therefore qualifies under the first definition. Even
a fisherman who brings catch onto his boat processes fish and sea-
food by storing it on board so that it doesn't spoil before getting it
to market.   The boat, its equipment and its storage facility consti-
tute a defacto factory.

Jay Cory wrote Mon 7/21/14 @03:28 EDT:

I would say that it depends on what type of fishing you're referring
to.  The traditional going out on your boat, catching fish and bring-
ing them back to sell is hunter-gatherer activity.  However, a lot of
fishing is indeed an industry now.  If it's a corporation employing a
"factory ship" that catches, processes and packages the fish for sale
it's gone way beyond hunter-gatherer.

The problem with dictionaries these days is that they report how words
are used, not what they mean. The Oxford English Dictionary in partic-
ular never made any bones about it:  It never pretended to be authorita-
tive; it's always been reportorial.  That's its mission statement.  Merriam
followed suit  in 1961,  and not without heated criticism,  with its Web-
ster's Third New International Dictionary.   American Heritage, Collins
and Random House, at least, still maintain some standards.

The OED's definition No. 1 quoted above is correct.  See the American
Heritage Dictionary definition,  followed by a history of  the  use  of the
word.    The OED's secondary definitions quoted above are superfluous
and misleading.   People now use the word "industry"  where  the  word
"business" will suffice – e.g., "the fishing business," "the music business,"
"show biz."  To the extent the  Shetlanders  sell  the fish they catch,  you
can call their fishing a business, even commerce.  But a lot of the fishing
in the Shetlands remains hunting-gathering.  For more,  see "Dumb news
from Indiana," immediately following.
                                                                                                – The Editor

P.S.  "On line"  and "de facto"  are two-word prepositional phrases,  not
one-word adjectives or adverbs.

An Indianapolis judge enjoined Monroe County from enforcing its night-
time noise ordinance that would hamper construction of I-69 near Bloo-
mington from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. . . .

The city council of Indianapolis' upscale north suburb Carmel enacted an
ordinance barring semitrailers from certain city streets they were using to
get around a section of U.S. 31 closed for construction. . . .

A panel of state legislators approved special license plates promoting the
Indianapolis 500 Mile Race  and Abraham Lincoln's boyhood home  in  a
session aimed at "clamping down" on the issuance of special plates, to be
capped at 125 by 2013 legislation. . . .

A state senator's wife was seeking permission to sit in next year's legisla-
ture in his behalf while he is on military deployment in Afghanistan. . . .

Indianapolis officials were considering allowing deer hunting in the Eagle
Creek city park.
                                                                    [courtesy Columbus Republic]

        

South Bend's most wanted: James Shupe, 5'11", 160 lbs: Theft, FTA, bad hair (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The Land o' town of Goshen adopted an ordinance requiring residents to
herd leash their cats when off their own property. . . .

Greg  Stumbo  (D-Prestonsburg),  Speaker of the State House of Repre-
sentatives recently quoted calling President Obama's power plant emis-
sions plan a "dumb ass policy," tweeted that he had "just got thrown out
of White House after shouting match with Administration over coal"  –
but later admitted that he was kidding about the end result of his heated
exchange with three Obama staff members. . . .

A Louisville judge ordered the  plug pulled  on a 2-month-old boy beat-
ten brain-dead by his father.  (Legal question: Does this make the judge
an accomplice to murder?)
                                                        [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

Arizona, Georgia, Oklahoma, and Kentucky rejected "lethal injection" as
the means of capital punishment and returned to the method of hanging by
the fingernails until dead.
                                                                [a Tabloid Headlines speculation]

Lexington's most wanted: Golda Massey, WF, 50, 5'9", 200 lbs; Garnisha Mays, BF, 27, 5'4", 115 lbs; Blair Smith, WF, 29, 5'7", 140 lbs; Karen Rayburn, WF, 26, 5'3", 155 lbs

                                                                                                                      [courtesy Herald-Leader]

"We have just shot down a plane."
                                                            – Ukrainian separatist leader Igor Bezler

"Use your ingenuity; use your big head to think of solutions the marketplace can figure out, that
 the idiots and trolls in Washington will never come up with."
                                                                                                      – Senator Rant Rand Paul (R-Ky.)

"At a steady speed of 2 knots an hour, she's [the Costa Concordia] expected to arrive
 in Genoa on Sunday."
                                            – Sylvia Poggioli, National Public Radio

"A train rammed into a school bus at an unmanned railway crossing.

            – The Times of India (and numerous other news sources, including the BBC, NPR and AP)

"No vehicle involved in fatal bike crash."
                                                                            – The Columbus (Indiana) Republic

Quotations of the Wheat (pick-up lines): "Miss, I must say you have the kind of legs I like – feet attached  to one end, a [expletive deleted] to the other."                                                                              – Leonard Simon

"Since you enjoy listening to WKU Public Radio on the air, you should join us on Clutterbook
 Facebook."
                       – promotional ad read by announcers on WKYstUpid-FM, Bowling Green, Ky.

Selena Gomez, 22
Eivør Pálsdóttir, 31
Brandi Chastain, 46
Sandra Bullock, 50
David Spade, 50
Roger Clinton, 57
Stephen Demetre Georgiou ("Cat Stevens," "Yusuf Islam," etc.), 66
Ilyena Lydia Vasilievna Mironoff ("Helen Mirren"), 69
Pat Oliphant, 79
Moe Drabowsky (1935-2006)

A 260-foot-wide sinkhole, of unknown depth,  was discov-
ered in Siberia. . . . Manuel Noriega sued the makers of the
video game Call of Duty: Black Ops  for depicting him as a
kidnapper and murderer. . . . A waitress in Chengdu, China,
swallowed a cockroach in response to a complaint by a cus-
tomer who had discovered it in his salad.  . . .  A 3-year-old
girl woke up in her coffin  at  her  funeral  in  Bayabas,  the
Philippines. . . . A 13-foot great white shark  choked  on  a
sea lion in its throat and washed up on a beach  in  Western
Australia. . . .British scientists found that peoples with DNA
closest to Danish are the happiest. . . .  A couple in Glendo-
ra, California,  were ordered to resume watering their lawn.
. . .  A "sand tunnel" collapsed on a man on a beach at Half
Moon Bay, California,  suffocating him. .  .  . Oral surgeons
removed 232 teeth from the mouth of a 17-year-old boy  in
Mumbai, India.
                     
   [courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, NBC.com, AP]Arrested in Lubbock: J. C. Kuykendall, 23, No evidence of intelligence insurance (Lubbock County Texas Detention Center photo)

I have been married to "Sherman" for 10 years.  It's a second
marriage for both of us.  Together we have five children.

The problem is my in-laws.  They are nice people,  but I think
they are jealous that I have a good relationship with my grand-
child while they don’t get to see theirs that often. My daughter-
in-law works full time and goes to school at night. Why should-
n't I help her out?   But whenever I baby-sit,  either my in-laws
or my husband makes some snarky remark.

They also seem to think our yard belongs to them.  They plant
bushes on my lawn because  "they were on sale."  And  Sher-
man will always defend his mother if I stand up for myself.  I
have asked him to go for counseling,  but  he  says,  "I  don’t
have a problem."  Any suggestions?
                                                                                        Fed Up

Seeing what appeared to be a day lily in the tree tops in the forest outside the offices of Borf Books, the roving reporter and the editor of Tabloid Headlines decided to investigate further . . .

  

Turned out there were a bunch

Turned out they were leaves, turned a little early for the fall (July 14, 2014)

The sports:
                    

Publius Leget wrote Sun 7/13/14 @11:19 CDT:

What's  wrong  with saying "Fishing is still the biggest industry" in
the Shetland Islands?  Is that not correct?  That's about all they do
there, isn't it?

It's not an industry – it's a  "hunter-gatherer"  activity,  particularly in the
Shetlands.  "There is no industry in the Shetland Islands"  would  be  cor-
rect.    – Editor


Stephen Yates, our roving reporter, and Jeanetta Girard, our seden-
tary secretary, wrote Mon 7/14/14 @10:34 CDT re the Team USA
softball batting helmet:

If that's not a desecration of the flag, what did the hippies do
that was so wrong?

Fred Dean wrote Sun 7/13/14 @09:37 PDT re last week's "Roots
and grafts" column featuring the junior English teacher Miss Ball:

Hey!  You can't call an aged, unmarried woman an "old maid"
any more!  That's politically incorrect.

Miss Ball's housemate, Miss Madden, the senior English teacher
(as Mr. Dean well knows),  denied  that  Miss Ball and she were
"old maids"  but insisted,  "I'm  merely  an  unclaimed  blessing."
Others in our little town speculated, however, that Miss Ball and
Miss Madden had claimed each other.    – Ed.

The state highway department sued  the  Monroe  County  commis-
sioners to prevent enforcement of a noise limit ordinance that would
stop construction of I-69 at night. . . .

Two missing 4-year-old girls were found in a corn field  in  DeKalb
County in a search involving a helicopter. . . .

The Millersburg town marshal was charged with stealing two pairs
of his son's girl friend's panties (sniffing one pair in a surveillance
video). . . .

A 49-year-old Amish woman won the Indiana Truck Driving Cham-
pionship.
                                                            [courtesy Columbus Republic]

  

Michiana Crime Stoppers present: South Bend's most wanted, Mariah Nowaczewski, WF, 5'2", 115 lbs, hair brown, eyes blue, cocaine possession; and just across the state line, in Berrien County, Michigan, Danielle Angel-Nasha Branch, BF, welfare fraud (x2)

Kentucky fell to sixth among the states in percentage of  smoking  teen-
agers, at 17.9 per cent, down from a nation-leading 24.1 per cent three
years ago and down from 47 per cent in 1997  (higher  teen  consump-
tion of cigarettes was found in West Virginia,19.6 per cent;  Arkansas,
19.1;  North Dakota, 19.0;  Oklahoma, 18.5,  and Alabama, 18.0).

        [courtesy WDRB-TV, Centers for Disease Control (see Table 32)]

"I wish I were a young man, so I could wear a suicide belt and go blow myself up in Tel Aviv."

                                                                             – Ibrahim Mahmoud Daoud, 77, of Jabalya, Gaza

"I don't want to get into the debate about climate change, but I will simply point out that I  think
 in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here.  Nobody will dis-
 pute that.  Yet there are no coal mines on Mars.  There  are  no  factories  on Mars  that I am a-
 ware of."
                              – Kentucky State Senator Brandon Smith (R-Hazard), at a committee meeting

"Here you have got us with our liberal President on a jihad to deal with global warming."

                                                              – U.S. Senator Mitch McKunkle McConnell (R-Kentucky)

"Angel McCoughtry is 6 feet 1 and 160 pounds, with feet larger than most women."

                                                            – Jonathan Lintner, in the Louisville Courier-Journal

"We're all orphans in Zombieland."
                                                            – Leonard Simon

Celebrity mirror lookalikes: David Spade, and our own cracked Wheat (courtesy the Pill)

"I am an editor for National Public Radio.  NPR is an equal opportunity employer, and provides
 equal opportunity also in grammar, syntax, facts, and diction.  I'm proud  to work for an institu-
 tion that is so stupid.  This is NPR."
                                                                    – Emily Rottencrotch

Ricky Skaggs, 60
Arianna Huffington, 64
Camilla Parker Bowles, 67
Gale Garnett, 72
Florencia Bisenta de Casillas Martinez Cardona ("Vicki Carr," "It Must Be Him He"), 73
Samuel Colt (1814-1862)

The "N-Bomb" has become the new LSD but is said to be dead-
ly. . . .  A woman shoplifted two pairs of undies at a Dollar Store
in Rock Hill, South Carolina,  and fled in an ice cream truck  (the
driving of which was her day job).  .  .  .  A chef in Baton Rouge,
Louisiana, found "GOD" in an eggplant. . . . A Virginia man plant-
ed a flag in a questioned 800-square-mile plot of land between E-
gypt and the Sudan,  named it  North Sudan,  and renamed his 7-
year-old daughter Princess Emily. . . . Swedish filmmaker Anders
Weberg released a 72-minute trailer to his 720-hour film Ambian-
cé. . . . Freddie Smoke, of Sacramento, California, was accused
of cultivating marijuana and starting a wildfire. .  .  . The National
Library Board of Singapore ordered the destruction of copies of
the children’s book And Tango Makes Three, in which two male
penguins raise a chick. . . . A concrete statue of Humpty Dumpty
was knocked from a wall at the Enchanted Forest theme park  in
Turner, Oregon, broke into pieces, and could not be reassembled.
     

Arrested in Lubbock: Kensley Shea Hair, 21, failure to display license (Lubbock County, Texas, Detention Center photo)

                            [courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, AP]

At least nine men were injured in the running of the bulls
in Pamplona, Spain, at least three of whom were gored
(including a co-author of  Fiesta:  How to Survive the
Bulls of Pamplona), as police sought a runner taking a
"selfie."

I have a very rude and inconsiderate neighbor,  who thinks
nothing of mowing her lawn at 5:30 in the morning and wa-
king up the whole neighborhood.  What can we do?

                                            Lancaster County, Pennsylvania

Dusty Hopkins, who sometimes receives her Tabloid Headlines a little late, wrote Mon
7/7/14 re a new name for the Washington, D.C., National Football League team:

_x_  the Washington Monuments [and she proposed a certain huge phallic
        symbol for their new logo].

Governor Mikey directed state agencies, including tax collectors and
food stamp providers, to disregard the hundreds of gay marriages al-
lowed  between June 25,  when a judge ruled the state's ban on such
unconstitutional, and June 27, when a court of appeals stayed the de-
cision.
                                                [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

The police department of Lawrence, an eastern suburb of Indianapo-
lis, acquired a 24-ton, 12-foot-high, 6-wheel mine-resistant, ambush-
protected ("MRAP'") armored military vehicle.

                                                                [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

Most wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Robin Elaine Crider, WF, welfare fraud (x2); Helen Charmain Simpson, BF, larceny (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The widow of a World War II veteran from Albany sued to get him a
medal of honor.
                                                           [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

"Next term is the time for the Supreme Court to go quiescent – this term and several past terms
 has proven that the Court is now causing more harm (division) to our democracy than good by
 deciding hot button cases that the Court has the power to avoid. As the kids says, it is time for
 the Court to stfu.”
                                        – U.S. District Court Judge Richard Kopf,  of Nebraska,  a George H.
                                           W. Bush appointee, in remarks on the Hobby Lobby case on his blog
                                           (with a link to the definition of "stfu" in the Urban Dictionary on line)

"To protect confidentiality, some of these companies use special teleconferencing
 software."
                            – Maanvi Singh, National Public Radio

"Ahmed Ali, who wires cash to relatives who farm in rural Somalia, says his money can make
 the difference between them eating or starving."
                                                                                        – Matt Sepic, NPR

Quotations of the Wheat: "I don't do doo-wop."                                                                     – Leonard Simon     (He don't "tweet," either.   – Editor)

What Maanvi Singh surely meant by "protect confidentiality"
was "maintain confidence."

Your  editor  was writing an essay in his junior English class
in high school when he came upon a need for a single word
to  refer to confidential communications among certain per-
sons.   He held up his hand and asked of the prim, old maid
teacher,  Miss Ball  (who was known as "Bunny" in her col-
lege days),  "What is the noun that goes with 'confidential'?
'Confidentialness'?  'Confidentiality'?"

Miss Ball blinked her eyes,  wiggled  her  nose,  pursed her
lips,  and suggested,  quietly:  "Try  'confidence'."

Both  "confidentialness"  and "confidentiality"  were in the
dictionary  even  then,  in  1957;  but they should not have
been.  "Confidentialness"  dropped out of the 2001 edition
of the New Oxford American Dictionary; but the nonword
"confidentiality"  remained,  and it has become standard u-
sage in the English-speaking journalistic world.  (Only five
dictionaries listed in the Onelook Dictionary Search on line
are cited with definitions of "confidentialness"; 31 are cited
for "confidentiality.")

Yet "confidence" will suffice.  When  people  communicate
confidentially, they are confiding in each other, maintaining
a confidence  among  themselves  (and not with others – try
mispronouncing it with accent on the second syllable  and a
long "i":  "con-FIE-dense" – and you'll easily get the idea). 

And it is not the confidence that is being protected;  it is the
confidants – i.e.,  the people in confidence.   Thus to "main-
tain confidence" is to protect people. . . .

And what Matt Sepic surely meant was  "between eating and
starving," not "between eating or starving" (and it's "between
their eating and starving," not "between them eating or starv-
ing").

"A neurologist testified that the 80-year-old Donald Sterling is suffering from Alzheimer's
 disease."
                         – Louise Schiavoni, National Public Radio (er, ah, putting one little word
                            after another, and isn't the proper terminology "enjoying Alzheimer's"?)

"Ignorance [of the law] is not innocence."
                                                                       – Steve Inskeep, NPR  (uh,  ignorance is innocence;
                                                                          it is merely not a defense to proof of guilt – this is
                                                                          one reason there is no such thing as a plea of "inno-
                                                                          cent" in the Anglo-American judicial system:  One
                                                                          pleads either guilty or not guilty.  The main reason,
                                                                          however, is that few defendants are exactly "inno-
                                                                          cent;  and  they  don't have to prove it even if they
                                                                          are.   It is the duty of the prosecution to prove that
                                                                          they are guilty, as charged.)

"Fishing is still the biggest industry" in the Shetland Islands.
                                                                                                      – Ari Shapiro, NPR (as if)

Li'l (" Lil' ") Kim, 39
Tziporah ("Tzipi") Livni, 56
Jessica Hahn, 55
Shelley Duvall, 65
Christine McVie, 71
Terry Garthwaite, 76

The Homeland Security Department announced that  "pow-
erless  devices  will not be permitted on any U.S.-bound air-
craft" (i.e., no pocket combs? no wallets? no handkerchiefs?
. . . )  .  .  .  A dog was found locked in 123-degree heat in a
car outside a store in Oconee County, Florida, and an intoxi-
cated Georgia man returning to the car  told  police  the dog
had driven him there. . . . United Arab Emirates prime minis-
ter  Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum  announced
that Dubai would build the world’s first air-conditioned city,
a 1,102-acre complex containing 100 hotels, a theme park
and medical tourism facilities, to be called the  Mall  of  the
World. . . . Belarussian  President  Alexander  Lukashenko
delivered a speech  in  Belarussian  on  the eve of Indepen-
dence Day in Belarus. . . . Ukrainian  astronomers  named a
star  Putin-Huilo!  ("Putin is a dick!"). . . . An Episcopalian
who had taken a vow of poverty won a $260 million lottery
in  Tennessee. .  .  . A  Chicago  policeman  who  helped  his
daughter-in-law grow "medical marijuana"  (not yet legal in
Illinois)  for her daughter with a brain tumor turned her into
the DEA after the child died. . . .  A column by Taylor Swift
on the music "industry"  was published on the "op-ed" page
of the Wall Street Journal. . . . Justin Bieber pleaded no con-
test to vandalism  for throwing eggs at a neighbor's home  in
Van Nuys,  California,  was fined $80,900,  and was senten-
ced  to  2 years' probation,  12 weeks of anger management
classes, and 5 days of community service. . . . ISIS'/ISIL's-
/IS' Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi  changed his name to  Al-Khali-
fah Ibrahim.  .  .  . Isis Wallet the mobile payment company
was planning to rename itself.

Arrested in Lubbock, Texas: James Everett Armstrong, 39; Deceptive trade practices (Lubbock County Detention Center photo)

      [courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, Raw Story, AP]

I am a 61-year-old woman. I am retired, and I live off my invest-
ments, which generate enough income for me to live comfortably.
I have paid off the mortgage  on the home in which I've lived for
30 years.

I've known "Joseph" for 25 years, but we only began dating in
the last six months.  Despite having a high-paying job,  Joseph
has only a quarter of the assets I have.  He is talking marriage,
but I'm afraid if we later divorce and divide our combined as-
sets, I would no longer be able to afford to stay in my house.

I love Joseph,  but I worry about this. He let his wife handle all
their finances and, as a result, has little in the way of retirement
savings.    He still works in a job where he can stay many more
years whereas if we divorce, I'd have trouble finding a job that
would pay enough to live decently.

What do you think of a prenuptial agreement in our case?

                                                                                Wedding Jitters

Donald Sterling finally appeared in court in Los Angeles
and told his wife,  Shelly,  as she was leaving the witness
stand, approaching him, "Get away from me, you pig!" . . .

LeBron James (Johnny Football).

In response to last week's poll:

FGDean@aol.com voted Sun 6/29/14 @11:07 PDT:

 x   the Washington Lobbyists

Stephen Yates voted Sun 6/29/14 @11:00 CDT:

 x   the Washington Scalpers

Nolan Porterfield wrote Sun 6/29/14 @13:43 CDT:

All of your suggestions for replacing  "Redskins"
in "Washington Redskins" are silly,  if not totally
stupid.  My  ever-loving  red-headed  wife,  who
grew up in D.C., suggests the "Washington Poto-
macs."   In  her words,  "The Potomac River is a
turgid, brackish stream meandering  through  the
Capital City,"  well  describing  the  NFL eleven
currently gasping for breath (2013 season 3-13).
Furthermore, the Potomacs are a a Native Ameri-
can tribe, preserving the "Redskin" tradition,  and
"Washington Potomacs" is not likely to offend any-
one.  Native Americans all over this country surely
will  praise  all  concerned  that  one  of their many
tribes is honored with a team name in a city where
the Great White Father presides  (national anthem
not required).  How much will my wife, Erika Bra-
dy,  be awarded for this perfect solution to a prob-
lem that has eluded the nation?  She – and I – feel
that she deserves large amounts  of the coin of the
realm.

Like, Sacagawea ("Sacajawea") dollars?  – Editor

Dave Surtees wrote Sun 6/29/14 @08:17 PDT:

The solution to "Redskins" is to change the
graphics: 

But does this mean we will also have to move the team, to the state
of Washington?  Or do they only grow apples there?  – Editor

State Senator Paul Hornback, a Shelby County tobacco farmer, defend-
ed child labor in an interview on the Daily Show. . . .

"Upskirt" (underskirt?) photography became illegal in Kentucky  (as "re-
venge porn" became illegal in Colorado and eight other states – but dope
remained legal in Colorado and one other state).

A 2-month-old boy beaten by his father in Louisville  was declared brain
dead by two physicians, including the family doctor, but the family lawyer
sued to keep him on life support  (which would prevent the father's being
charged with murder).
                                                            [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

A man posted his 8-year-old son outside to look for police as he entered
a gasoline station in Corbin to assault his wife. . . .

Copper thieves took 23 nozzles from a fountain in Thoroughbred Park in
Lexington. . . .

Lexington's most wanted: Angele McCall, WF, 46, 5'6", 150 lbs; Patricia Rogers, WF, 31, 5' 3", 125 lbs; Ashley Stamper, WF, 28, 5'2", 120 lbs (return engagement)

                                                                                                                  [courtesy Herald-Leader]

Brooke Wilson, 27, a high school teacher in Nappanee, was arrested for going on two dates with a 17-year-old male student, fondling and kissing him (Columbus Republic)

"Not a slippery slope?  They're right.  This is a San Francisco sidewalk coated with ice, slicked
 with oil, and littered with banana peels."
                                                                    – Leonard Pitts, in the Miami Herald, re Justices Alito
                                                                       and Kennedy's opinions in the Hobby Lobby case

"Suppose an employer's sincerely held religious belief is offended by health coverage of vaccines,
 or paying the minimum wage, or according women equal pay for substantially similar work."

                                             – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg (same case, in dissent)

"Ty and I wanted our separation as husband and wife to be nothing less loving than the way we
  came together.   For some time we have been engaged in a private and difficult but thoughtful
  and tender undoing of ourselves."
                                                                               – Jewel  (compare  that  to  Chris Martin and
                                                                                  Gwyneth Paltrow's "conscious uncoupling")

"Contributions do not influence policy.  It's the policy that influences contributions."

                                       – Robert Stivers (R-Manchester), president of the Kentucky State Senate

"Brazil’s team doctor says Neymar will miss the rest of the World Cup after breaking
 a vertebrae during the team’s quarterfinal win over Colombia."
                                                                                                             – Associated Press

"Cruz's concerted attempt to establish himself as the most extreme conservative in the race for
  the Republican nomination has not evoked much fear in Democrats."

                                                                                   – Jeffrey Toobin, in the June 30 New Yorker

Quotations of the Wheat: "Rich, powerful, extremely good looking –  and so can you."                                                – Leonard Simon

Lynn Neary said recently on National Public Radio's Week-
end Edition, "We caught up with Jennifer Lopez last week in
New York,  where she recently had given a concert .  .  .  ."
Jennifer Lopez did not give a concert in New York  or any-
where else.  Taylor Swift has never given a concert, nor did
Frank Sinatra or Charlie Sheen ever give a concert.  A con-
cert requires the joint effort of more than one person:    The
root is the Latin concertare, "to decide together."  What J-
Lo gave was a recital.  You can say that she and her agents
and managers and band and backup singers gave a concert,
but not that she did.

For the same reason,  you cannot say that the relief pitcher
"made a concerted effort to get that last guy out in the bot-
tom of the ninth inning"  (or what Toobin wrote in the New
Yorker).  One person cannot make a concerted effort to do
anything:  It takes a team. Try "concentrated," or "intense."

A black bear fell through a skylight  into a child's birthday
party in Juneau, Alaska,  ate some cupcakes and went to a
neighbor's house before being killed by police. . . . A black
bear was seen outside a church in suburban Cincinnati, O-
hio,  last Sunday morning.  .  .  .  Snakes and bees attacked
Boko  Haram  in a Nigerian forest. . . . ISIS  (Islamic  State
of Iraq and Syria)  a/k/a ISIL (the Islamic State of Iraq and
the Levant) a/k/a ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham)
changed its name to  IS  (the Islamic  State). . . . A woman
whose 22-month-old son died in an overheated automobile
in Cobb County,  Georgia,  had done an internet search on
hot-car deaths  (it was the boy's father  who left him in the
car). . . . The United Kingdom was importing human sperm,
mainly from the United States and Denmark. . . . Barack O-
bama was ranked the worst U.S. President since World War
II in a Quinnipiac University poll,  topping George W. Bush
33 per cent to 28 per cent. The folly of this poll was demon-
strated further by Ronald Reagan's being ranked best, at 35
per cent,  and Dwight Eisenhower fifth, at 5 per cent – and
below Obama, who polled 8 per cent for best President (for
another dubious list see the Sports, below). . . . Lindsay Lo-
han sued the Grand Theft Auto software producer for using
her image and character  without  permission. . . . Kim-Jong
Sexy Glorious Beast Divine Dick Father  Lovely  Iron  Man
Even  Unique  Poh  Un  Winn Charlie Ghora Khaos  Mehan
Hansa  Kimmy  Humbero  Uno  Master  Over Dance  Shake
Bouti  Bepop  Rocksteady  Shredder  Kung Ulf Road House
Gilgamesh  Flap  Guy Theo Arse Hole Im Yoda  Funky Boy
Slam Duck Chuck Jorma Jukka Pekka Ryan Super Air Ooy
Rusell Salvador Alfons Molgan Akta Papa Long Nameh Ek
claimed the longest name in Sweden.

                                           [courtesy Harper's Weekly, AP]

Arrested in Lubbock, Texas: Cyndee Kate Taylor, 40, assaulting a public servant, failure to ID as a fugitive (Lubbock County Detention Center photo)

Lindsay Lohan, 28
Esa-Pekka Salonen, 56
Deborah Harry, 69
Ron Swoboda, 70
Gene Chandler, 77
Imelda Marcos, 85
Gina Lollobrigida, 87
Frank Simmons Leavitt ("Man Mountain Dean," 1891-1953)

Billboard magazine compiled a list of the 10 worst renditions ever
of the National Anthem ("The Star-Mangled Banner") – and José
Feliciano,  who started it all at the 1968 World Series  in  Detroit,
did not make the list. . . .

Uruguayan  soccer  star  Luis Suarez was suspended for four months
and at least nine games for biting an opponent at the World Cup (he
denied it,  saying that in his impact with the other player "I  lost  my
balance,  making my body unstable  and  falling on top of my oppo-
nent.  . . . I hit my face against the player,  leaving a small bruise on
my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth").

My wife and I are in our late 60's and have been married for six
years.   We were both widowed.   We have a great deal in com-
mon and are happy together.

Our one bone of contention is her daughter.  "Justine"  is in her
late 30's, married, and living overseas. Yet every time she visits
she expects to get picked up and dropped off at the airport, de-
spite the  major  problems  that driving both ways causes for us.
Hints that she might want to get a taxi or rent a car are ignored.

When she comes without her husband,  she reverts to being an
irresponsible teenager,  treating the house and its contents as if
she had never left.  She comes and goes as she pleases,   helps
herself to the fridge,  takes over our cell phone,  uses  our  car
without filling the tank and hogs the computer to carry on long
loud conversations.

Her mother doesn’t see anything wrong with this.  Justine has
just left after a two-week visit  and  did  not put her hand into
her  purse  once  the entire  time,  not even at the coffee shop.
She spent almost half of her visit out of the house,  often  stay-
ing out all night.

I hate to see my darling wife taken advantage of like this.  Do
you think I am being too old-fashioned?   Is such behavior ac-
ceptable? How can we change this before we have a major ar-
gument that will benefit no one?
                                                                      Cranky Canadian