:

Steve Yates wrote Sun 5/22/22 @13:44 CDT re
"Googlable" / "Googlible":

Google it.

And we did!  On Google we got nine hits on "Googlable,"
three hits on "Googlible" – and five hits on "Googleable."

And on our onelook.com dictionary site, we got three hits
on "Googlable," one on "Googlible,"  and six on "Google-
able."
                – Editor

Malachi wrote Sun 5/22/22 @12:40 CDT:

googleable

J. Ewing wrote Mon 5/23/22 @07:32 EDT:

Today's new word:  fructoballistophobia – the fear
of having fruit thrown at you.  Donald Trump's fix-
er testified that Trump was unusually afraid  of  ta-
king a pie to the face.  And the Daily Beast reveal-
ed that Trump has a bizarre fear of pineapples,  to-
matoes and bananas being thrown at him by angry
protesters.

Indianapolis' 500 Mile Race, which was run on Memorial Day
from 1911 until 1974, will get off at 13:00 EDT today, the Sun-
day of Memorial Day Weekend, according to its new schedule,
which means now it is never run on Memorial Day, which was
changed from May 30 in 1970 to the last Monday in May.  Or-
iginally it was called Decoration Day, from its inception in 18-
68.  The real curiosity is that  tomorrow,  the  last  Monday  in
May, will  be  May  30.  That happens about once every seven
years. 

The race  used to begin at 11 a.m. but now begins at 1 p.m. ac-
cording to a change in 2005 to improve television ratings.

                                                [a Tabloid Headlines exclusive]

A man resigned from the Kokomo City Council after  it  was
pointed out that he does not reside in the district he was elec-
ted to represent (upsetting the incumbent).

                                                      [courtesy Kokomo Tribune]

treyvoun.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Treyvoun Battice, BM, 5'9", 175 lbs, strangulation; Jennifer Hall, WF, 5'5", 110 lbs, "blonde," probation violation (meth);
Keosha Bellman, BF, 5'6", 200 lbs (Y. hog), battery by bodily waste; Alicia Simonson, WF, 5'3", 110 lbs, coke; Adain a/k/a Alden Aguilar, WM, 5'8", 150 lbs, tattoos? meth

nonoana.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff) (bailed out or escaped before we could ID him); Casey Jones, 20, DUI; Annette Ellingburg, 38, c.s.; Joyce Padgett, 46, ctld. subs.; Maxine Fuentes, 45, no insurance; Natalie Rivera, 26, pub. drunk; Elizabeth Usery, 26, theft; Nicholas Gonzales, 31, DUI

Arby's added hamburgers to its menu. . . .  A federal appeals court ruled
against a Florida law that prohibited anti-conservative remarks on social
media. . . . Footage from the Buffalo,  N.Y.,  racial  murders  temporarily
live-streamed on Twitch wound up on Clutterbook Facebook. . . . Monk-
eypox was reported in Europe,  Australia,  Canada and the United States.
.  .  .  A puppy born with upside down paws in Oklahoma  died in correc-
tive surgery. . . . Nancy Crampton Brophy,  author of a popular article ti-
tled "How to murder your husband,"  was found guilty of murdering her
husband in Portland, Oregon.
                                                                [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

DISCUSSION GROUP:

        Don't  forget!    Readers interested in intellectual dissection of important current events are
invited to attend  the  Weekly  World  News  Round  Table  at  the offices of Borf Books outside
Brownsville, Kentucky, just after church every Sunday.  Guest speakers lined up for meetings in
the near future include

  

lifestog.jpg 3-D Stooges Life Saver Dude: They hurt me even in 2-D B&W!

Fred Dean wrote Sun 5/15/22 @11:29 PDT:

Birthdays May 12:  Burt Bacharach, 94.  I'm reminded of a pet
you had umpteen years ago  that,  because of its behavior,  you
called "Burt Back-Up Rat."

It was a wind-up toy.
                                    – Editor

One of multiple motorcyclists following a convertible got off
his bike and slugged the driver  unconscious  and into a crash
in Lawrenceburg.
                                                            [courtesy LEX18]

mannryan.jpg South Bend's most wanted (courtesy Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Ryan Manning, B(?)M,, 5'6", 170 lbs, probation vi. (felon w/handgun); Eric Adams, BM, 5'5", 160 lbs, handgun w/o lic.;
Timothy Parrish, WM, 5'11", 235 lbs, identify deception; Gregory Garner, BM, 5'10", 185 lbs, domestic battery i.f.o. child; Brandon Tates, BM,  5'11", 195 lbs, domestic battery in front of child

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said): "Whence the idiocy of the 'computer players' that partner   with you in games on line?  Even white men are smarter   than 'bots."                                                                        – Leonard Simon

Britney Spears had a miscarriage. .  .  . Clarence Thomas trashed his
present  Supreme  Court  compared  with the Court with Ruth Bader
Ginsburg. . . .  Bette Midler was ridiculed for suggesting "Try breast-
feeding" to the baby formula shortage. . . . A six-hour standoff in Du-
luth, Minnesota, ended when police realized that the suspect had left
before they arrived. .  .  .  A passenger with no experience as an avia-
tor landed a plane in Palm Beach, Florida,  after the  pilot  suffered a
medical emergency. . . .  A 2-year-old boy in Kingsville, Texas, used
his mother's portable telephone  to order 31 McDonald's cheeseburg-
ers to be delivered by DoorDash. . . . A  crane  operator  lost  his  job
for dropping a load of his own shit on a rooftop in Dublin, Ireland. . . .
Eric Clapton tested positive.
                                                          [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

davidjas.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas,not Wichita Falls, Texas) (all wanted for probation violation): David Jason Riley-Campbell, WM, 40, 6', 190 lbs, threat; Terrence La'nar Burnes, BM, 43, 6'4", 190 lbs, tattoo on right arm, assault;
Kenneth Nickolas Bond, WM, 54, 5'10", 150 lbs, burglary; Christopher Allen Trumpower, WM, 36, 5'8", 150 lbs, tattoos rt. arm, left wrist, chest, battery; Djuan Michael Richardson, BM, 38, 6'3", 250 lbs, attempted robbery, theft (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

 

jyheimde.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas): Jyheim Devaughn Bryant, BVM, 26, 6', 250 lbs, bond forf, agg assault; Felicia Michelle Charles, WF, 5'6", 160 lbs (Yorkshire hog), forgery;
Alexiis Danielle Nobles, 22, 5'6", 100 lbs, abandoning child; Christin Miranda Matthews, WF, 38, 5'2", 102 lbs, abandoning child, Matthew Claud Robertson, WM, 45, 6'1", 300 lbs, burglary (Texoma's)

angeltob.jpg Locked up on San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Angel Tobias, 26, marijuana; Guadalupe Bargas, 36, c.s.; Tara Talamantes, 34, EPO viol.;
Esperanza Medina, 44, child aban.; Rebecca Bricken, 40, c.s.; Reina Uranga-Quintana, 23, theft; Emily Jones, 22, fraud; Douglas Martinez, a/k/a Frito Bandito, 51, resisting arrest

sueliant.jpg Suelian Trinidad-Ortiz, 19, DUI; Cherisa Hudson, 37,DWOL; Kalesha Williams, 30,mischief,mj,paraphernalia; Ashley Landin, 35, mobery; Kari Williams,33, theft; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas): Jennifer Xiomira Figeruoa, 28, 5'3", 110 lbs, mj, parapher.

    The Cincinnati Reds lost a  no-hit  baseball game to the
Pirates in Pittsburgh,  1-0.   But it was the  Reds'  pitchers,
Hunter Greene and Art Warren,  who  threw  the  no-hitter.
The Reds made four hits in their loss.

    The Pirates became the sixth team since 1901  to win a
Major League game without a hit.   And it was the second
no-hitter this season thrown by more than one pitcher. . . .

    A Brazilian soccer player was dropped  from  his  team
for continually farting in the locker room and laughing du-
ring the captain's speech.

lifesein.jpg "Someone just jumped off the Pont Neuf. He must be . . . " "in Seine" Life Saver Dude: Funny way to spell 'drunk'

J. Ewing wrote Mon 4/25/22 @13:44 CDT:

"Jake  Boone's  "Giving directions in the country"
is  easy  –  e.g.,  "You can't get there from here  –
but if you drive thataway about half an hour, turn
left where the big oak tree used to be . . . ."

xavirhop.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Xavier Hopson, BM, 5'7", 145 lbs, domestic battery; Ricky Moreno Jr., WM, 5'11", 160 lbs, upside down ears, nonsupport; Cassidy Jones-Anderson, WF, 5'6", 120 lbs, upside down ears, sexl. miscon; Dwayne Dockery, BM, 6', 160 lbs, misshapen ears, resisting arrest

Alabama murder suspect Casey White was rearrested in Ev-
ansville in a car crash after a police chase, and his compani-
on, deputy jailer Vicky White (no kin),  committed suicide.

                                                 [courtesy Evansville Courier]

The ZwanzigZ brewery of Columbus won a  gold medal  with
its Fulcrum Imperial Stout in the 2022 World Beer Cup comp-
etition. . . .
                                                   [courtesy Columbus Republic]

A man in the Boone County Jail for killing his wife  won a pri-
mary election for township trustee.
                                                         [courtesy Washington Post]

Julia Hawes Gordon,  removed from office as Daviess County
Family Court judge by the state Judicial Conduct Commission
in April for multiple violations, is running for re-election.

         [courtesy Yahoo! news, Owensboro Messenger-Inquirer]

Attorney General David Cameron,  a Republican  (and Negro),
announced his 2023 candidacy for governor; and the Kentucky
Democratic Party filed an ethics complaint against him, saying
he can't use his political office  to  target  a  political opponent,
Governor Andy Beshear  (a  Democrat,  expected to run for re-
election).
                                                                        [courtesy LEX18]

nichlaws.jpg Busted in Bardstown (Nelson County Gazette): Larry Nicholas Lawson, 30, Owensboro, parole viol. (paraph.); Amanda Gale Burgin, 31, Bardstown, DUI; Lechrisha Nicole Hall, 36, Frankfort, forgery; Heather J. D. Bell, 37,
Bloomfield, probation viol. (meth); Roseanne Lee Woolett, 43, Bardstown, theft; Ashley Hiller, 34, Bloomfield, public drunk; Crystal Dawn Marie Walker, 37, Louisville, contempt of court; Terri Mae Wood, 40, Bardstown, failure to appear

plemmons.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas,not Wichita, Kansas) (Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week): Denniw Wayne Plemmons, WM, 57, 5'7", 150 lbs, cont. substances; Jennifer Marie Martinez,
HF, 38, 4'9", 132 labs, family assault; Eric Joel Martinez, HM, 26, 6', 265 lbs, injury to child; Jaycee Dawn Burke, WF, 27, 5'3", 130 lbs, abandon. child; Kevin Gene Barnes, BM,49, 5'11", 185 lbs, ag. ass.

A white 7th grade teacher in Rochester, New York, was suspended
after referring to himself  as  "Massah"  and  instructing students to
pick seeds from balls of cotton  but  told black students to continue
after giving white students the option to stop. . . . Guns were found
to be the new leading cause of death for United States children, sur-
passing automobile crashes. . . .Twelve seniors at Providence Chris-
tian Academy in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, will be graduating with
perfect 4.0 grade point averages;  thus the high school will have 12
valedictorians.
                                                        [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

mirlopez.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Alexander T. MIranda-Lopez, HM, 20, 5'3", 150 lbs, fondling a child; Heather Lashley Ochoa-Benavidez, WF, 32, 5'7", 180 lbs, opiates, felon with firearm; Jose T.. Martinez, HM, 22, 5'7", 202 lbs, robbery (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

trevinov.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Victoria Trevino, 35, theft; Justin Hardee, 28, DUI; William Cardenas, WM [sic], 38, mob; RaynaldoHinojosa,77, RD; Angelica Carter, 36k, c.s.; Robert White, 68, mobery; Manda Navarro,39, Ctld.subs.; Edwin Flott, 49, public drunk; Wendy Goodman, 46, c.s.

lifeprid.jpg LIfe Saver Dude: Is that anything like a gregarious gaggle? "It's just my foolish pride"

Janna Calloway wrote Tues 5/3/22 (by U.S. mail):

I'd like to recieve [sic] the News tabloid bloopers.   Please
and thank you . . .  #2260232 Hobby Unit [Texas Women's
Prison],  742 FM [Farm to Market Road] 712,  Marlin  TX
76661.

The Evansville Redevelopment Commission  sold property
tagged for off-street parking to a California real estate com-
pany.
                                                [courtesy Evansville Courier]

antuwanc.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Antuean Clemons, BM, 5'`10", 180 lbs, prob. viol. (robbery; Karla Tillman,WF, 5'6", 150 lbs, cocaine, theft, f.t.a.; John Tarwacki, WM, 6'2", 170 lbs, sex offender residing too close to a school; Stephanie Garcia-Cardoso, WF, 5'11", 150 lbs, residential entry & theft, failure to appear; Tyrell Crumedy,BM, 5'6", 175 lbs, domestic battery, f.t.a.

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said): "To all my senior citizen followers, motion is a lotion."                                                                        – Leonard Simon

unkuraba.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Brandon Holt, 18, child sex abuse; Candice McGuire, 22, DUI; Kimberly Walker, 41, hitting parked car; Alissa Catrett, 26, fam. assault; Erika Rodrguez, 41, trespass; Kimberly White, 25, theft; Unkura Badunka, 23, mobery; Jessie Sheppard 55, para.

The  Judds  were inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame last Sunday
only a day after the duo's Naomi Judd died  (her daughter Wynonna was the
rest of the duo – Wynonna's sister,  Ashley  Judd,  is a rather well known ac-
tress). . . . Nancy Pelosi and Angelina Jolie visited Ukraine. . . .A probe into
the Minneapolis Police Department revealed that prosecutors have difficulty
using body camera footage in court because officers so frequently say offen-
sive and disrespectful things to suspects, witnesses and bystanders.  .  .  .  A
candidate for Oklahoma labor commissioner was prohibited  from  referring
to himself as "the Patriot" on the ballot. . . . The high court of Turkey upheld
an official refusal to register the common Kurdish name "Ciwan"  because it
contains the non-Turkish letter "w." .  .  .   San Francisco disseminated liquid
birth control in city parks to curb the rat population. .  .  . A woman in Wales
married her cat. . . .  New York University threatened to delay degrees to stu-
dents scalping tickets for Taylor Swift's commencement address. .  .  . A pro-
posed  amendment  to Canada's criminal code  would punish  astronauts  for
crimes committed on the Moon. .  .  . Eminem,  Lionel Richie,  Carly Simon,
the Eurythmics, Duran Duran, Pat Benatar  and Dolly Parton  were  inducted
into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. . . . .A woman about to be buried in Peru
banged her coffin from the inside  in  protest. . . .  Georgia's Congresswoman
Marjorie Taylor Greene testified she could not have played a part in the Janu-
ary 6, 2021, insurrection  because  she was abducted by a Jewish space ship
that day.
                                                                        [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

ryansilb.jpg wamted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas) (Texoma's most wanted of the week): Ryan David Silberkraus, WM, 42, 5'10". 130 lbs, harassment on line; Tina Reed Crump, WF, 55, 5'2", 140 lbs, theft; Juan Manuel Valdez, HM, 35, 6', 155 lbs., exposure to a child; Mystica Lois Granado, HF, 25, 5'3", 181 lbs (Yorkshire hog), controlled substs.; Rodney Glenn Sheppart Jr., BM, 26, 6'1", 234 lbs, p.v. (ass.)

ledesmaj.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Jose Luis Ledesma, HM, 54, 5'7", 195 lbs., child porn., sex. ass.; Jasmine a/k/a Jazzmyne K. Roberts, BF, 21, 5'7", 138 lbs, phogographic sexual exploitation of a child; Josue [sic] Emanuel Flores, HM, 19, 5'8", 140 lbs, aggravated robber; Ethan Maverick Tyson, WM, 18, 6'1", 158 lbs, rape, indecency w/a child

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellec- tual dissection of important current events are invited  to  attend  the   Weekly  World  News Round  Table   at  the offices  of  Borf  Books outside   Brownsville,   Kentucky,   just   after church every Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the near future  include  Casey White and Vicky White  (not related, by blood or marriage,  but they apparently have had "re- lations").

lifedigi.jpg See what I made in my digital handicraft class today? Life Saver Dude: No

J. Ewing wrote Sun 4/24/22 @15:04 EDT:

That devious little whippersnapper "Jake Boone" – a/k/a
Todd Johnson Logsdon!  Not even a pre-teen and already
misrepresenting who he really is.   What other scams and
deceptions is this little juvenile delinquent cooking up? –
and with the seemingly approving adults around him egg-
ing him on?

I think the Honorable Natty Esq. and Mayor Yates need to
file complaints with one of those Vincent law enforcement
types and with Child Protective Services.  A call to the IRS
might be in order, too; who knows about all the money col-
lected from monetizing all those "Jake Boone" videos?

The Grammy witch churning out all those videos  might  be
snorting it all up her nose or gambling it away.    I'd get a ri-
ghteous preacher on it too – as this "Charles Manson in wai-
ting"  will need some heavy duty praying done over him be-
fore Satan really gets his claws into him and he becomes the
"Evil One of Edmonson County" with stacks of dead bodies
piled up behind him. We must not waste any time in nipping
this situation in the bud!  I'm so glad I alerted both of you.

Leonard Simon wrote Sun 4/24/22@10:40 CDT:

What has become of your "Yorkshire hogs"?  Are fat girls
no longer committing crimes?

We heard they are all hanging out with you.
                                                                          – Editor

A Dollar Tree manager in Bremen was fired for saying "Don't
hire Gen Z's" in a help wanted ad.
                                                                                [Newsweek]

wislerdn.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Dan Wisler, WM, 5'5", 120 lbs, meth & coke; Desirée Miller, WF, 5'4", 145 lbs, meth; Laila Colagrossi, WF, 5'8", 160 lbs, meth, syringe; Kristen Kerr, WF,5'2", 125 lbs, meth, syringe

   

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said): "Penis envy is real.  All the men I've ever dated had it."                                                                                                 – Leonard Simon

sredovan.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Christopher Sredanovich, WM, 34, DUI; Gabryella Serrato, 21, FTA; Brenda Williams, 60, esc; Stacie Jones, 48, assault, deadly weap.; Macy Watson,
29, no turn signal; [bailed out or escaped]; Calli Jensen, 59, trespass, Chloe Saddler, 54, family assault; Catherine Hernandez, 21, marijuana (the last two look like they may qualify asorkshire hogs,but this Sheriff does not give us heights and weights)

A dolphin died at Quintana Beach south of Houston, Texas, after people
tried to ride it. . . . Firemen rescued a woman who fell into a toilet at the
Olympic National Forest in Washington trying to recover her cell phone.
. . . The state of Washington changed all statutory mentions of "marijua-
na" to "cannabis" because of the racist origin of "marijuana." .  .  .  New
prosthetic limbs were being made of hemp. .  .  .  Vladimir Putin,  prime
minister of Russia,  congratulated Emmanuel Macron  on his re-election
as President of France. . . .  A cat became mayor of  Hell,  Michigan. . . .
A  pet duck  led  police  to the body of a North Carolina woman missing
since  2020;  and a couple,  including the woman's granddaughter,  were
charged in her death. .  .  .  Kamala Harris and two Democratic senators
tested positive. . . .  A historic stagecoach cabin in Arizona was wrapped
in foil to protect it from wildfire.
                                                                 [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

shaffera.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Raymond Shaffer, WM,, 65, 6', 245 lbs., prob. viol. (naarcs.); Ronald Eugene Stanley, BM, 58, 5'7", 171 lbs, dom. battery; Laranca Sharkey, BF, 224, 5'5", 155 lbs, child abuse (Sedgwick County Sheriff); Arrested in Abilene (Tex., not Kans.): Juan Tejeda, HM, 5'8", 210 lbs, abuse of elderly; Dennis Thomas Davis, WM, 48, 5'11", 165 lbs, assault on a public servant (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

DISCUSSION GROUP:     Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu- al dissection of important current events are invi- ted to attend the  Weekly World News Round Ta- ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns- ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every  Sunday. Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the  near future include Dianne Feinstein.

lifeascn.jpg After his resurrection, Jesus appeared to his disciples and many others before ascending to Heaven, "Where?? Where?? I can't see him!!, ascension deficit disorder Life Saver Dude: Pun of the century