As seen at Jimbo's site, here's a continuation of our rockin' list of
things for all you RENTheads, or RENTphreaks, to do.
Note: This list is just a joke. Betsy and Lily are not responcible for
any negative side effects from following this list to the letter.
1. If you live in a town where RENT is playing, or will be, we highly recommend you wait in line for those front row seats (even if you have to get there at midnight the night before). It's definitely worth it! 2. Rent (ha ha! RENT!) the movies Twister, School Ties, Adventures in Babysitting, Dazed and Confused, Six Degrees of Separation, and Far From Home, and have an Anthony Rapp sleep-over w/ your friends. (Uh huh!) 3. Go to your local record store and ask when Daphne Rubin-Vega's cd is coming out. When they say that they don't know, ask them when they know when they'll know when it'll come out. 4. Buy a hotplate for a friend just so you can sing "Oh! I hope you like the hotplate! Just don't leave it on, dear, when you leave the house!" 5. Buy a new notebook so you can write all the lyrics to the play when you're bored in math class. When you finish that, write out the lyrics to the NYTW production from 1994. 6. Comb all the malls in your area searching for a navy and white, stripey Mark scarf. If you can't find one, knit it yourself! 7. Buy three Barbies and five Kens, sew replicas of the costumes, and make your own RENT action figures. "It's Super Mimi!!!" 8. Start saving your money to fly to Japan where you can try to find Sylvia MacCalla's cds. 9. Start your own "ten gallon pickle tub" band, fronted by a lead singer who will "sing Native American tribal chants backwards, through her vocoder". 10. Run naked through the Parthenon. (If Collins did it, why can't I?) 11. Record your answering machine greeting as "Speak!" 12. Buy your own vinyl cat suit for your New Year's party. 13. Talk like Alexi Darling all day. (Or until your friends slap you) 14. Supply your bedroom with white sheets and green lights. 15. Sport the "Luther 'do". (Chop it off and bleach it) 16. Get an Akita puppy and name it Evita. 17. Go ahead, flirt with the girl in rubber. 18. Actually learn the words to "Without You". 19. LONG LIVE ANTHONY RAPP LOVERS!!!!!!! (Luther too.) 20. Go to North Hampton on the beach just to say "hi" to Alec Baldwin. 21. Call Newsweek every day to ask if they can send you the May 13th issue. Get pissed when they say they can't. 22. When you actually win the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes, (they said you were eligable, right?) buy RENT. Betsy almost did. 23. Always keep a trash can, old posters, and matches handy. 24. Cast the Muppets as RENT characters. 25. But blue vinyl pants for a guy friend's birthday. 26. E-mail the significant others of cast members at four in the morning and really piss them off. 27. Call your friends on December 24, 9pm, eastern standard time, every year. If the line's busy, try again at 10. 28. Answer all questions with lines from RENT. 29. Make your own RENT folder to hold your magazine clippings, aol downloads, and stupid microfiche copies, cuz they don't have the actual May 13th Newsweek at the library. 30. Unstead of singing stupid chorus songs, willingly belt out "Over the Moon". When the vice principle asks why you're in his/her office, tell him/her you were just trying to lift the spirits of many other poor souls trapped in suburbia. (Just like us. Oh jeez!) 31. When a class mate asks to go to their locker during the middle of class, and the teacher says "what'd you forget?" you proceed through "Light My Candle" for the row of people near you. 32. When you don't get responses from the signigicant others of the cast members, e-mail them again demanding e-mail or you will send them more mail of the same content. 33. Choreograph your own "lawnchair handcuff" dance. 34. Steal things left behind in the Shubert Theatre, Nederlander, Nordway, La Jolla, wherever, and delude yourself into thinking they belonged to a cast member. (No really, Lily has Sean Keller's bracelet... I swear!) 35. Go to a restaurant and demand "five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter, and one pasta with meatless balls". 36. Petition the costume designer to actual give Joanne (in the touring cast) Dr. Martens. They mention them twice, don't you think she should wear 'em, dammit?! 37. Get a job at the Brew Moon and wait for Luther to come back. 38. Tape every single television appearence of a RENT cast member. 39. When you're watching School Ties put it in slow motion when they're swinging from the bars after they park that icky guy's car in the French room. Anthony looks like a monkey! 40. Build a shrine to the goddesses Fredi and Idina. 41. Go to your local toy store and demand a Tickle-Me-Adam! 42. Celebrate "Outstanding Maureen Understudy" Day. Kristen and Amy are amazing! (Kristen's from our hometown and went to Magic Circle Theater... just like us!!!) 43. Pester ulta-kewl ushers to give you dirt on the cast. (Thanx Jamie!) 44. Put on a town production of RENT. 45. Keep e-mailing the significant others even though you know they'll never write back. 46. Get the address of the Nederlander Theater and write obnoxious fan mail to the actors. 47. At night turn on your cd and act out the whole play in front of your window. 48. Stalk the actors. 49. Grow a "soul patch" like Luther and Sean. 50. Find friends who don't like RENT and convert them to "Larsonism". 51. Make up a religion taken off of RENT. 52. Call a random number and sing: "(name), Alexi Darling from Buzzline. Your footage of the riots, A-one, feature segment, network, dealtime!" and hang up. Pray they don't use *69. 53. Make mixes for the actors for when you see the show. Make sure they don't think it's a bomb or something unruley like that. 54. Where the hell are those Tickle Me Adams? 55. Make wall paper out of RENT pictures. 56. Listen to the cd in the morning so you can have good songs in your haed all day. 57. When you're babysitting, sing the kids "Seasons of Love" before they go to sleep. 58. Steal pieces of wood from the tech. lab and write lyrics on them. Go around school and claim they're your magic RENT wands. 59. When you're at school dances, insist the only dance you know is the Carmina Burana. When you get suspended, blame it on Kristen. 60. Also at school dances, use the balcony and poles to coreograph "Out Tonight". 61. Amuse yourself with writing lists of things to do when you can''t get enough RENT. 62. When someone asks you what day it is say, "No Day But Today." 63. Wear knee pads to school (or camp) and claim you're Daphne and/or Simone. 64. Perform "Over The Moon" for unhappy people to make them laugh. Have a blast scaring the guys when you do "it's a female thing." 65. Get your younger siblings hooked. 66. Get a tatoo of a scorpio on your thigh like Daphne. 67. Send singing telegrams for friends from "cast members" 68. Write names of characters on your school papers and confuse your teachers. 69. Buy blue vinyl pants for yourself so you and your friend can be twins. 70. Get a pay phone and put it in your room so you can randomly go to the phone and say, "Pookie? You've never called me that before". Or, "I quit!" 71. Claim that even though the cast members have significant others, you are married to them. 72. Laugh a lot when you realize, after watching your tape of TV appearences, that Gilles sings the girl's part in Seasons Of Love. 73. Have birthday parties when you dress up as your favorite character from RENT. 74. When you see the show, moo the loudest so Amy or Sherrie can say, "yeah, come on, moooooooo with me!" to you. 75. When your dog, Evita dies, get a puppy with mother-ass ears and name it Scooter. 76. In order to practice going out for Japanese food with Luther, eat with chopsticks all day. 77. Give up and steal your friend's fork. 78. Try out. When they throw you out for being too young, stand out- side the building and sing the whole score until they a)let you in, or b)call the cops. 79. For all you Magic Circlers out there- Petetion for Kate and Paula to invite Kristen Kelley to a show. (Tell her to bring Anthony.) 80. When Kristen comes to your school and you miss her, run through the halls singing, "Kristen, Kristen where are you?" 81. Insist the real lyrics to Voice Mail #5, Act 2 are "Mark are you there, are you there, are you wearing your pants?" 82. Let it be known that your one desire in life is to swim in a big vat of spelt. 83. Travel to the far ends of the mall to try to find a Mark sweater. 84. Really be embarassed for you friend, cuz his father brought a cam-corder when they went to see the show in New York. But be really psyched that now you have a funky-ass home video of Daphne calling you friend "Sweetie" and Adam calling him "Buddy". 85. Make sure as a pre-requisite for any boyfriend: "Must be able to swim across table top.: 86. Make fun of Anthony Rapp for the rest of his life because of the appearance on "Spin City"... HAPPY BURFDAY!!! 87. Take your BLONDEST Ken doll and make him do spins by putting him on top of your record player, like Luther in La Vie Boheme. Invite Betsy over to do the sound effects. "Weeeeeeee! Look at me go!!!" 88. Tape Adventures in Babysitting and LOL when Anthony blows on the glass and does that really weird tounge thing. 89. Try to get Sean Keller to come to your parties. Then remember that he's a god a you're just a little 14 (or 15) year old who lives in suburbia. 90. Get pissed at your frined who just saw the show in NY because instead of going to Disney World for April vacation he's going back to see it again. 91. Bug your director into telling you about Anthony cuz they were in School Ties together. Find out that they had played poker the whole time and that Anthony and invited him to his trailer to "listen to music". 92. Drop candy bar wrappers just so you can say "Oh hear it-", "What's that?", "It's a candy bar wrapper." 93. Try to get your friend to dress up as Angel for parties. (C'mon Jordan, you know you want to!) 94. Learn how to play "Musetta's Waltz" on purpose. 95. Try to open up to what you don't know. 96. Actual figure out the harmony to "What You Own". Anthony, you know it, but, jeez, it's hard! 97. Spare a dime or two. I mean, they probably need it more than you. Unless they don't, then keep it. 98. Open up a restaurant in Santa Fe. You can call it "Restaurante de Collins e Angel" or somethin' catchy like that! 99. When you see the show lip synch through the whole thing, but if one of the castmembers looks at you funny, STOP! 100. Make a tape of the cds for family trips. 101. Make pancakes in the shape of Anthony Rapp's head. Anthony pancakes! DON'T EAT THEM (that would be sick), just look at them for a while. 102. Go into mourning when Luther get's a haircut. (Even if it's just a trim.) 103. When you write notes to friends write quotes on them like "Mucho masturbation" or "To faggots, lezzies, dykes, crossdressers too" so the nosey people who read them will get really scared. 104. Do songs from RENT for audition pieces. 105. Go crazy about Luther's appearence on "Chronicle" cuz at parts you can see the top of his undies! 106. Really make the food on the Life Cafe menu and serve it for dinner parties. 107. For Halloween dress up as the Nederlander Theater (neon green). 108. Legally change your name to one of the character's names. 109. Write your first name and the last name of a cast member you really like when signing "Get Well" cards for people you don't know. 110. During homeroom do "Over the Moon" with your friends for people there. Laugh a lot when they look at you like you have two horns growing out of your ass. 111. Go crazy, cuz what the hell does it take for Anthony and Luther to write you back?! 112. When bored in math class recalculate how many minutes there are in a year. Then figure our how many minutes there are in a leap year! 113. Play "Christmas Bells" over and over again just to here Anthony sing "But I am over her!" in the background. 114. Write funny poems, and odes to cast members, that kinda rhyme like: LUTHER CREEK is a very kewl guy, He probably wouldn't hurt a fly. His bleached hair may give you a scare, But it's OK, it goes back to normal eventually. He plays Mark in RENT, And when he dances his knees are bent. He seems pretty nice, But he was kinda a jerk to me after the show. It's OK, I'm sure he was tired, At least he didn't get fired! by Betsy The man I love, he is gay, But I don't mind, it's OK, He is sooooooooooooo nice I could pee in my pants, And so is his boyfriend, even though I've never met him personally. He has this coat that he wears all the time, Fruit loops are cherry, grape, and lime! Supposedly he eats this grain called spelt, But he's so cute I could melt. I always hope to see him soon, And he eats his spelt with a spoon. by Betsy 115. Develope elaborate plans to steal your guy friends' Gap ski sweaters with Mark stripes across the front. 116. Buy a Winnibego, paint it red and purple with lyrics and RENT in black letters, and follow the touring cast from Boston to St. Paul to Washington to Chicago and so on. 117. When on vacation, look for store names that have to do with RENT people, such as "Anthony's Flowers" and "Cohen Opticle". 118. Develope an even more elaborate plot to get sexy cast members (ahem, Luther) to hug you after the show. 119. Flip flop between love interests. "I love Sean, no I love Manley, no I love Sean, no I love Manley, no I love Sean, no I love Manely..." 120. Give the cast a going away party. 121. When you finally get to go to NY plan to kidnap Anthony's dog and hold it hostage until he gives you his sweaters and a hug. 122. Photograph the stree sign "Wilson St" and give it to Wilson when you see the show. 123. When you're meeting the cast members after the show and one of them (CC Brown) comes up to you (Betsy) and asks you if you were the one lip syncing, turn red and run away. 124. Get really psyched that you (Betsy) have the same shirt as CC! 125. Read the book "Missing the Piano" by Adam Rapp and LOL cuz he made Anthony a girl who shot basketball granny-style. 126. Get psyched cuz now you can play Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon by using Daphne each time! 127. For friends' birthdays get pictures of cast members put on T-shirts. 128. Go crazy cuz you can't decide on what nail polish to wear when you actually get to go to NY. Go even crazier when you realize how silly you're being when you've made a list of pros and cons. 129. When someone asks you the time say "It's 4:30... in St. Paul." 130. Call up ABC and ask them when they will be airing the RENT commercial so you can tape it. 131. For the adventurous RENTphreak, beat up all the alternateens and steal Barry's album! 132. Sign all your e-mails "byefornow" and "me". (Pretending to be Luther iz phun!) 133. Insist that you ARE NOT obsessed. You're just "continually enthusiastic". 134. Be naughty! Turn off the lights, turn on your cd and a flashlight, and do a RENT finger-puppet show!!! 135. Reshoot "Thelma and Louise" as "Akita and Scooter". 136. Take the two song clips from Daphne's appearence on CBS This Morning and loop them to get a song out of it. "It breaths life into my de-ead he-eart--It breaths life into my-my-my de-ead he-eart--It..." 137. Start e-mailing cast members' best friends. 138. Sneak into NBC studios and destroy ev'ry new and old "Seinfeld" episode to ensure that "413 Hope St." will be a success. 139. Go to your RENT shrine and pray that the producers hire Luther to play Mark on B-Way. (Do it for Lily!) 140. Send cast members birthday gifts. 141. Print out the touring dates of the Angel and Benny casts and highlight ev'ry possible stop that you might be able to see the show. "Well, this girl in my math class has cousins in Austin, so maybe..." 142. OK, we ran out of ideas. Think of them yourself!