That Door Is Closed....
The twist and turns of life can be so sad at times ...but also so
uplifting with it's wonders.
During our stay in USA Fay fell pregnant...happy was not the word to
describe how we both felt because we had been endeavoring to have more
children for a while. After about five months things started to go very
wrong and we suffered a miscarriage...this was devastating to us
both...but life goes on and we returned to Australia determined to try
once again. A few months after our return...success !! Again Fay was
pregnant...3 months passed but sadly another miscarriage tore a further
strip from the fabric of our lives. Obviously there was something
drastically wrong so a trip to a specialist was arranged. A large growth
was detected and the crushing news that a hysterectomy was needed
urgently was the result of that visit. The next day Fay underwent the
operation and suffered, as only a woman can, the knowledge that no
longer was there any hope or opportunity to have more children. Luckily
I was not at sea but home during the next few months so was able to help
and comfort her as best a man could...I am sure most men do not
understand the devastation a woman can feel and go through during this
sort of trial. Our bond was strong and we carried on with life though.
The support of family was and still is the most important link in any
chain of life...thankfully we had that support ( I was blessed with the
most wonderful and understanding Mother-in-law a man could ask for).
As the ensuing years passed with only minor ailments (carpal tunnel
problems and the like) we continued to live life to the fullest. Susan
was now married and I was approaching the end of my service career when
suddenly Fay was struck down with a stroke...this was another
devastating blow for us. Hospitalized in Sydney, 100 miles from our
home, paralyzed on the right side and all the other things that are
associated with such a trauma. Tests revealed a blocked carotid artery
that was inoperable was probably the main cause. Many weeks of
rehabilitation and the, apparent, bright outlook...helped to ease the
burdens on her. Fay's mother was living with us now so I knew that while
I was not there 'Nan' would oversee the home more than adequately.
I had just retired from the Navy when a further stroke struck Fay
down...again the Sydney hospital was the center of all attention...but
this time I managed to have her sent back to our hospital for the
rehabilitation. When allowed 'up' Fay drove her new electric wheel chair
around the hospital corridors and became quite proficient at missing
most things. Needless to say some work was required on our home for the
'chair' to be manipulated around...ramps and such... bathroom revamp and
the like. After the rehab' time things again settled down to fairly
normal routine. Naturally many test were needed and various
precautionary measures were put in place to cover any further problems.
By this time I had started a trucking business and things were going
really well for us. Nan was still 'in charge' of the home and things
were stable at last.
Almost a year passed and Fay's sister came to visit for a couple of
weeks...another delightful lady who I got along with wonderfully well.
Business had expanded rapidly and now we had three trucks on the road,
all connected by CB radios....
It was about 2.30 on June 25th and I received a rather garbled call, on
the CB, to get home ASAP. On arrival I found a next door neighbor
waiting for me with the message that Fay had been rushed to hospital by
ambulance....straight to the hospital and charged upstairs to the ward
floor and ran into our family Doctor, who was also a friend...he took me
by the arm and guided me to the chapel/quiet room. We had known him for
a while and considered him to be fairly close to us as a family. Quietly
he told me what had happened. Fay had suffered a massive brain aneurysm
!!! Looking me straight in the eye he said... "48 hours Den
!!!".........
Fay was in a coma !!! I was assured that she wasn't in pain and the
nurses, many of whom we knew personally, were wonderfully supportive.
Luckily we were surrounded by family and love
to help us through those heart breaking hours...relatives and friends
came from all parts to be of assistance...the messages and flowers were
overwhelming. Nan was wonderful and took charge of all these things so
leaving me to be with Fay during the ensuing hours. The nurses assured
me that Fay could 'hear' people talking to her...who was I to
argue...so, even in the quiet, we 'talked' to each other...somehow I
'felt' her answering me. The reality became a blur, misted over in a
haze of precious moments, quiet visitors, the doc' checking things and
the nursing staff being there for any request. The family friend, who we
visited in Seattle, arrived, having flown in to be with us. A wonderful
gesture, to fly so far, for such a short time as the hours slipped by.
So many things to be remembered, so many moments together...so many
wonderful moments. All these thoughts flooding the mind. Trying to be
positive but knowing that the inevitable would happen.
At about 2 pm the second day Fay left me, quietly and with dignity she
slipped away. We were alone together as that moment arrived...peace
settling her mind and soul.
How can one describe the feelings of that moment...total sadness, heart
break, the agony of loss.. this mere male cannot possibly describe
something so heart rending and devastating, to lose ones mate of 20
years, is beyond description, to me.
So on the 27th of June 1975 my beloved wife, mate and mother of our two
children, passed away.
The funeral was a wonderful honor to Fay...hundreds of mourners where in
attendance. It really was a tribute to her memory...from family, friends
and work mates...
The door is closed on this part of my life...but the window is still open !!!
Denis Brunswick