Kill me if you want, but this fic is Yaoi. Can’t stop it…  sorry…

A fanfic by ~> Bulma Briefs

Shuuichi looked at the microphone and blinked. “Shuu-chan… sing!” K took out his Magnum and pointed at him. Shuuichi looked at the weapon and turned away. Not affected. “What’s wrong Shuuichi?” Hiro sighed and put down his guitar. Shuuichi reached out for his friend. “Hi-ro~~~~!” he whined and plunged himself onto Hiro’s chest. The bright haired boy cried helplessly in Hiro’s embrace.
 
 Hiro looked up at K and Suguru. A puzzled look was on his face. “I’ll go get us some drinks,” Suguru uttered as he walked away, not knowing what to do. “Shuuichi… tell me what’s wrong?” Hiro ran his fingers through Shuuichi’s soft hair. Shuuichi sobbed. “Yuki doesn’t want me anymore…” he cried. “Em? What makes you say that?” Hiro asked.

 After a few more sobs, he rubbed his eyes. “I missed him so much yesterday so I waited for him to come home. When he did, I told him I missed him and wanted to talk to him. He said that he was tired and we can talk tomorrow,” a pause. “But I really, really wanted to talk to him! So I called his name all night long. Then in the morning he just walked out of the house…” he cried.

 “And this morning I saw him and… and… Tohma … He only talked to me like that when he was… but now he wouldn’t even look at me and he’s talking to Tohma as if they were… they were…” his eyes were brimming with tears again.

 “Shh…” Hiro pulled Shuuichi’s head to his chest gently.
 

 K sighed. He stood up and walked to the door. Hiro looked at their manager and frowned in confusion. K smiled weakly and nodded once.

  “Are you sure you are okay?” Hiro inquired. Shuuichi shook his head and smiled. “Yeah… I’m fine. Thanks for letting me…” Hiro patted his head. “It’s okay darling. I’ll always be here for you,” Hiro took his helmet and walked out the door. Shuuichi sighed and turned around. He took his jacket and walked out of the studio. He really felt emptiness in himself. He’d do anything to just have Yuki at least talk to him.

 He turned around the corner and accidentally glanced into one of the studios. Yuki… Shuuichi blinked.

 “You shouldn’t treat him like that,” Tohma smiled, sipping his tea. “I know… but I just can’t help it. He’s just too cute and all. If I don’t act like ice, I’m afraid I’d just gobble him up,” Yuki uttered. Tohma laughed and bit a piece of cookie. “These cookies are nice,” he commented. “Try some,” He offered a piece to Yuki. “I don’t eat cookies,” he snorted. “Na… try it. It’s Mika’s doing. At least let’s suffer together hahaha~!” Tohma laughed and got Yuki to eat the piece from his hand.

Being studio room’s nature to be soundproof, Shuuichi didn’t hear anything but had managed to interpret things from what he saw. Tears welled up in his eyes. Yuki wouldn’t even look at him and he’s playing feed-the-baby with Tohma? Shuuichi felt as if a thousand knifes were pushing its way through his heart.

He ran down the stairs out the building, crying uncontrollably. “Yuki no baka!” he uttered again and again. It had started raining and he didn’t knew when had he been soaked wet to the bone. Then he accidentally tripped and fell flat on his face.

He bit his lips. “Yuki… no baka….” He cried. Then slowly he got back on his feet and walked shakily to Yuki’s house. He was bleeding everywhere. His face, his knees, he arms, elbows… The road wasn’t all so smooth and soft. He went into the apartment, knowing that no one would be there. He looked around and found a piece of stray paper lying around. He grabbed a pen and shakily wrote on the paper.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that you hate me? Why do I have to find it the painful way? Why did you stole my heart and crush it with your own hands? Well… have it your way now. I won’t be coming back. Thank you for… everything? Maybe… I’ll see you in the next life? Maybe… maybe not…

Good bye…
Yarikinara ai,
Shindou Shuuichi”

He rubbed off the welling tears and left the paper on the table. He ran out of the house and into the wet street again. He didn’t know where to go. He turned around a few times and started running in a random direction. He later found himself walking alone in the back lanes of Tokyo.

Finally, fatigue engulfing him and the poor boy slept in the middle of nowhere, near the slumps and dark area of the back lanes.

Yuki walked into the mansion expecting loud shrieks of his name. He opened his closed eyes when he heard nothing. Not even a rustle. He frowned and walked into the living room where Shuuichi most likely to be asleep. But as he turned into the living room, his frown became deeper. No Shuuichi.

Then his eyes lazily glanced on the table where a dirty stained paper was there. Some scribble of some sort was on the piece of paper. “Em?” he reached out for it and read it. His eyes were suddenly big and sweat appeared on his forehead.

“Shit!” he cursed and looked at the paper again and again, not wanting to believe it. And the paper was bloodstained. Was Shuuichi thinking of committing suicide? “Stupid boy!” he exclaimed and ran out of his house to his car.

He got into it and ignited the engine. He had to look for the boy, but where to start?

Two days. It had been two days since Shuuichi left that note without a trace. “The studio!” he exclaimed to himself.

“Where is Shuuichi…?” Hiro sighed as he laid on the table, bored. They couldn’t rehears without Shuuichi there. “Did something happen to him?” Suguru asked. “Nah, could be just him releasing his love at Yuki hahaha!” Hiro laughed, not too sure of his own joke.

K tapped his magnum on his lap. “Should we…”

His words were interrupted by the door swinging itself open, all of them looked up at the person at the door. The blonde had an anxious expression on his face.

“Shuuichi… is he here?” he asked. Hiro sighed. “Now you’re looking for him ey? What did you guys do last night, and the night before? He didn’t came to the studio for 2 days already,” Hiro smiled. Yuki frowned deeper as he shoved the noted Shuuichi left him to all of them.

Hiro was the first one to react. He looked up to Yuki and widened his eyes. “When?” he managed to croak. “2 days ago,” Yuki’s voice was calm but traces of panic could be detected clearly.

“Shit! Where the hell is he?” Hiro turned around and slammed his fist on the wall. “It’s all your fault!” He turned around and pointed at Yuki. “If you hadn’t treat him like a sick dog, he wouldn’t have ran away!” Hiro started blaming Yuki. Shuuichi had always had confident for everything else but with anything that had to do with Yuki.

Yuki couldn’t say anything to retort what Hiro said. It was partially true. No, wholly true. From Shuuichi’s point of view, he did treat him badly.

Hiro sat back on his chair, regaining his composition knowing throwing fits wouldn’t settle things up. “He just fucking missed you Yuki… why wouldn’t you even look at him?” Hiro asked quietly. Yuki looked at Hiro and sighed. “I’m scared of loosing myself. I’m scared of loosing anything that I love. So the best thing was not to Love… to save myself from…”

Hiro stood up hovering over Yuki. “You dare say that you had been playing with his feelings all this time? HELL, THE BOY WAS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF FOR YOU AND YOU FUCKING THINK THAT HE’S JUST A TOY!?” Hiro shouted, then turned around covering his hands with his face. “I’m not even sure if he’s still alive now!” Hiro fell to his knees and cried. Yuki bit his lips. Shuuichi can’t be dead. He can’t be…

Tears well up in his eyes. He unconsciously curled his fist so hard till his palm bled. He shook his head. He’s not going to let the thing that happened to him when he was 16 to happen again. Now with Shuuichi, who had loved him with all he had.

“We need to find him!” Hiro exclaimed, looking up from his palms. “I’ve searched whole of Tokyo this two days… no sign of Shuuichi…” Yuki uttered. Hiro bit his lips. Now where was he supposed to search then?

Shuuichi opened his eyes. He was aching all over. He straightened himself and looked at his clothes. All torn here and there, caked blood, everything. He looked terrible.

Then he remembered Yuki and fell on his back again. He couldn’t find anything to pull him back to reality.

“Move over kid, you’re blocking the bin,” a guy in his forties uttered. Shuuichi looked at him and turned to his side. He couldn’t care less. He just wanted to wait there until he died. The man threw his rubbish into the bin and blinked at Shuuichi.

“Stupid boy,” the man spat before turning around, going back into his store. “Stupid boy,” Shuuichi echoed the man’s words. Yuki never called him anything but that. Maybe he was stupid, literally. And just sitting there doing nothing until he died was another stupid thing. Took too long.

He turned around and saw a smashed up soda can. A small smile crept up his face. Maybe by using this it would be faster?

He gingerly took the soda can and ran the sharp part through his wrist. He could see the blood spurt out like a mini fountain, a small smile on his face. Maybe my next life wouldn’t be so bad.

The shopkeeper looked up as two more customers walked in. “Anything I can get you sir?” he asked. “2 soda’s,” the guy in blonde said softly. “Right up,” the man nodded and turned around to prepare the drinks. Hiro took out Shuuichi’s picture and planned on asking everyone in the café.

Starting from the master.

“Excuse me, master… Have you seen this boy?” the man turned around and Hiro showed him Shuuichi picture. “He’s about this tall,” he gestured. “Big purple eyes,” Yuki added.

The man frowned. Somehow he thought he saw that person before. “I saw him… but where…?” he asked himself in particular. “You did?” Hiro stood up. “Please do remember, master!” he begged. Yuki bit his lips. “I really wish you would remembers sir,” Yuki said as well.

The man frowned deeper then smiled. “When I was throwing trash! Yeah! The back of my store!” he gestured the 2 guys to follow him to the back.

“Yes!” Hiro jumped and an equally happy Yuki joined him. The master opened the door and pointed at the spot he saw Shuuichi. Yuki hesitated a bit, not knowing how to face his darling little Shuuichi. “Shuuichi!” Hiro jumped out of the store to hug Shuuichi just to find a dying boy drowning in his own pool of blood.

“SHUUICHI!” Hiro exclaimed his voice was breaking. Yuki frowned and went to see what was wrong. The sight was a real gore.

White…

Everything was white…

Where is he?

Shuuichi blinked and tried to move. Something was restraining him from moving his hands. He weakly turned around to see sunshine colored hair. It then moved and Yuki’s face appeared.

“Shuuichi…” a small smile was on Yuki’s face. A sudden boil of anger came up to Shuuichi’s conscious. This meant he was still alive and he didn’t want to. To still live in this betrayal world, he didn’t want that! He wanted peace.

The hand Yuki had in his was suddenly jerked off away. Shuuichi turned to face the other side, forcing the sun out of his eyes. “Why am I still alive?” he asked, rather coldly. “We were there in time…” Yuki uttered softly.

“Cool. Thank you for taking away my peace and happiness,” Shuuichi said non-too-gently. “Shuuichi?” Yuki called.

“Stop calling my name as if nothing’s wrong!” Shuuichi blared. It was the first. Yuki blinked. “I don’t know what’s up your head but you fucking kill me with it! First you treat me like a love toy, then you think I got rabies or such, then now you’re here pulling me away from my death! What’s fucking up your head Yuki! Make up your mind!” Shuuichi cried out. He was tired of being pushed here and there.

He was fucking tired.

“Shuuichi…” Yuki called again. No mocking tone, no angry trace nor any weird planning to crash the boy’s ego anymore. Tear began to well up Shuuichi’s eyes as it rolled unceremoniously down the bridge of his nose into his ears.

“Look at me please,” Yuki pleaded, his voice was soft. Oh how Shuuichi loved the voice, but he was too sad. Yuki reached out a gentle hand to touch the boy’s face.

“Do you want to know why I acted this way?” Yuki finally said softly. He had enough of him torturing the boy. He was scared that if he told the boy, he’d ran away, hating him. But now, even without the boy knowing the truth he had tried to kill himself, whatever happened after Yuki tell him was up to the boy.

“Will you hate me if I told you what really happen? What actually happen 6 years ago?” Yuki asked. A long silence. Finally Shuuichi turned around and sighed. Yuki stood up and helped Shuuichi sit up. He then sat on the bed, leaning on the straightened pillow, pulling Shuuichi to lean on his chest. He pulled up the covers to cover both of them.

Yuki’s eyes drifted to the bandaged wrist of Shuuichi. A jab of pain stabbed through his heart. He bit his lips and ran his gentle fingers through Shuuichi’s soft hair.

“6 years ago…”

Took Yuki a whole 3 hours to tell the boy what happened. The betrayal, the pain… His eyes were watery once again. “So to have that kind of thing not happen again, I promised myself not to fall in love anymore,” then Yuki tipped Shuuichi’s chin up to look at his face just to find him watery eyed as well.

Shuuichi was crying with him. How soft of a heart does this boy have? A touching feeling floated through Yuki’s heart igniting the love he has for the boy.

He kissed away the boy’s tears. “But you came waltzing into my life, changing everything. The more I try to pull away from you, the more attracted I get to you. So that was why I stayed away from you for a while. I didn’t want to fall in love with you,” Yuki kissed the boy’s forehead.

“But after you left the note and walked off, I didn’t know what to do. It was as if, if I can’t find you, I’d die. And when we found you on the edge of death, I could swear that I’d go with you if we’re ever too late…” Yuki’s tears were uncontrollable. The feeling of loosing Shuuichi was far more painful that being betrayed and all.

“You’re crying, Yuki…” Shuuichi finally opened his mouth. He had misunderstood Yuki all this time. But now he had finally understood. And he felt that the reason for him to live was clearer to him now. Yuki bit his lips and nodded. “Can I kiss you one last time before you leave?” Yuki asked. Shuuichi frowned. “Why last?” he asked.

“Aren’t you going to leave? After knowing that I was a murderer? A killer?” Yuki asked. “It’s cool to have a killer for a lover don’t you think?” Shuuichi leaned up and kissed Yuki. Yuki leaned in and kissed the boy with his heart. Tears falling heavily both of happiness and finally, Yuki felt that as if Shuuichi was a messenger of god, sent down to finally give him happiness.

The happiness that was taken away from him 20 years ago.

“LA LI HO!” Shuuichi shouted as he entered the studio. “Shuuichi-kun!!” K lunged towards the boy and hugged him. “I MISSED YOU!” K exclaimed with his usual weird slang. “You see him everyday…” Suguru pouted. “But, welcome back Shindou-san…” Suguru joined in the bear hug. “Aww… this is such a touchy scene,” Sakano cried and joined in the hug, wetting everyone with his tears.

After that Hiro came up to him and gave the boy a kiss on the cheek. “I just changed, don’t wanna get wet by Sakano’s tears and saliva,” he grinned. “SALIVA?!” Both K and Suguru exclaimed.

 “ARGH!!!” the two ran out of the studio to change.

Both of them came back in later with a fresh change of clothing.

“Ne, Hiro Hiro! Mite! Yuki wrote a song for me!!!” Shuuichi took out a piece of paper from his pocket. It was a piece of beautiful literature work. Even the writing was different. It was more… matured. Hiro smiled and patted Shuuichi’s head.

“A new song?!” Sakano’s eyes brighten up. Shuuichi nodded with a big smiled.

“Why don’t we work on an arrangement now?” he asked. Shuuichi nodded. “Na, Fujisaki! Let’s do it!” Shuuichi exclaimed. Suguru nodded and smiled. “Yah!” he nodded in enthusiasm.
 

Owari…

Finished!! Yatta! My third Gravitation Ficcie but I think I finished this first than the still ongoing 2nd one haha…

Bulma Briefs
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