Top Ten Surprises In Free Willy 3: The Rescue 10. Free Willy renamed Free OJ 9. Free Willy replaced with a doped-up monkey 8. Roger Ebert plays Willy's mother 7. Mookie don't have one single line this movie! 6. When Free Willy uses 1-800-COLLECT to call that Jesse kid 5. For no apparent reason Randolph goes nuts and shouts " Free Willy " at the top of his lungs every 5 minutes 4. Denis Rodman plays Jesse 3. Free Willy no longer free 2. Movie has commericals for Free Willy 4 in it 1. Only thing that was freed was some guys at McDonald's Cole’s Top Ten Plans For The Future 10. Return home to actual birthplace, Cuba 9. See what Mookie thinks about his autobiography 8. Make sure Jim Carrey don’t make any more movies with the word Liar in them 7. 1-800-COLE better than 1-800-COLLECT 6. Be the guy on the Ronald McDonald costume in the parade 5. Find out what’s in the secret sauce! 4. Begin new hockey CRHL 3. Run that wonderful OJ’s campaign for president 2, TV morning, noon, and night! 1. Get elected Prime Minister and once in, push to make The Barbie Song Canada’s new national anthem Top Ten Horrifying Facts About McDonald’s 10. Big Mac is reallly just their name for the poor rat they put in it 9. Back ’89 rejected the "running water" in the taps idea 8. Once, late at night, Playland was broken into and all thems colored balls were stolen 7. Own that Burger King guy 6. Ronald McDonald has highly experimental feet implants 5. 100% Beef n’ Trout! 4. Turns out, nobody named McDonald eats there, after all 3. Happy Meals??? Now 23% less happy 2. They got the Sports Illustrated subscription for the football phone, not the swim suit issue 1. Jim Carrey is really Ronald McDonald Top Ten Least Used Words At McDonald’s 10. Mookie-proofed 9. Lick-resistant 8. Piping hot tap water 7. Big with fries 6. May I help you, Simpson? 5. Sorry, sir, Tiger Woods still has to pay full price 4. Groin pulled 3. Health Inspector approved 2. Clean 1. Meat Top Ten Least Exciting New TV Shows 10. The Even-Fresher Prince of Bel-Air 9. Dr. Quinn, Pat Quinn 8. Tiger Woods Tells His Favorite Fairy Tales 7. An Evening With Jim Carrey 6. The Simpsons Meet the Jetsons 5. Nike and Rebok Fight With Rakes 4. International Dropping Cows From Planes Competition 3. McDonald’s Commercial Free Show of a Guy Eating Big Macs 2. Golf and Baseball Mixed into New Sport GooseBall 1. Oprah and the Seven Dwarfs Top Ten Names Puff Daddy Tried First 10. King Puff; the Puff Man 9. OJ Jackson 8. Bibbi Yetpuffaho 7. Jim Daddy 6. Jimbo 5. Ed and His Band of Puffs 4. "Weird Puff" Yankovic 3. Green Puff 2. 2Pac Sha-Daddy 1. Snoop Doggy Puff Top Ten Things That We Will Saying To Our Grandchildren 10. In my day we had to ride the bus 15 minutes just to get to school 9. In my day we had to make due with Digital Audio Tape 8. You think that’s bad, three generations of your family had to eat McDonald’s! 7. 1-800-COLLECT was the best ever 6. I tried to commit suicide 11 times when Puff Daddy stopped releasing albums 5. Is that root beer? 4. That Jim Carrey sure can act! 3. We had no food we had to run over to the Safeway and buy some 2. All I had was a 36" TV, a stereo, Internet, satellite, a waterbed, and every Puff Daddy CD in creation 1. When I was a gaffer we had to make due with 2000 channels Top Ten Signs Your New Teacher Is Nuts 10. Refuses to stand for national anthem, because it isn’t The Barbie Song 9. Brings lunch to school in a suitcase 8. In science, tells you the Earth revolves around Pamela Lee 7. His policy for shop class: If someone looses a finger, you all loose a finger 6. Bet his life savings on Canucks seven years straight 5. Demands to be referred to a Puff Teacher 4. Voted for Dole 3. You noticed him stealing paper clips 2. In social frequently asks questions with no answer 1. You torch a bus, his punishment: have to push first graders on the swings for a while Top Ten Things Overheard At Jeopardy! In Washington 10. Guys named Bill Clinton for $100, Alex 9. Wow! Alex sure can sing 8. Why are your patties square? 7. Nicknames for Puff Daddy in High School is my specialty 6. Ah! Pizza Hut won’t deliver? 5. I gotta use 1-800-COLLECT to save up to 44% and tell mom I bet all my money in Final Jeopardy! And lost! 4. Problems of guys named Don is our Final Jeopardy! Category 3. Pamela Lee for $1000, Alex 2. Letterman personally rakes my yard 1. What is a television show that got really desperate Top Ten Little Known Facts About Canada 10. Wayne Gretzky hailed as God in some parts of Ontario 9. Alberta has gained international rights to be referred to as "the Freak Province" 8. If BC separates has to take Quebec with it 7. 1-800-COLLECT now available in Manitoba 6. People named Steve get in free to all Urkel movies 5. Our flag is nothing more than an inkblot that kinda looks like a maple leafs 4. Next time an NHL moves, America has to name it "Canada is the Best" 3. Attendance at Jim Carrey movies still optional 2. We’re www.awesomeathockey.ca 1. Canada gave Alaska the "cold disease"