My Name is Asher Lev Journal 5

Asher Lev is starting to go through many psychological problems now that his gift is starting to overtake him. First of all he has this uncontrollable desire to draw all the time. The weird thing is that he never knows that is his doing it. Itis as id it has become an unconscious habit. When he drew the Rebbe in the Torah, it was as if he had never hone it, almost like a dream. He had no desire to deface tje properity, yet he still did. I believe that Asher is closing himself into his own world, thus making him think that he has no control over his actions. When he stole the oil paints smf brushes he did it because he really wanted to paint, but knew that he did it because he really wanted to paint, but he knew that he would never raise enough money to buy them. His act of stealing cursed him later on when he tried to paint with them. It was as if the canvas knew of the stolen goods and would not allow them to be accepted. Asher felt the consequences of his actions and for the first time seeked for atonement. He returned back to the store in order to return them to their normal and right place. This action may have releaved much stress placed apon him and may help him control his actions better in the future.

Many of the adults around him are able to sense his emotional imbalance. The Rebbe and Mashpie especially see this in Asher. The Mashpie knows that Asher has a problem handling the gift that he was given. In order to allow Asher to vent out his feelings on paper, maybe this would help heal what Asher was feeling. It is hard to understand why Asher has all of this unbalanced emotion because his life had not been emotionally unstable at this point. I feel that Asher believs that he is misplaced in his society. He is surronded by very orthadox Jews that would ove nothing more than to follow thier father's footsteps. There starts the problem. Asher has no desire to follow what his father does. He wants to explore the world the world his own way, and I believe that he even has a bit of resentment towards the Rebe. First off he is always stealing his father away from him on buisness trips, and he can feel the Rebbe watching him closely. At church that one day he felt embarressment and neverousness when he saw the Rebbe watching him. He senses that the Rebbe knows and disproves of his future plans. The Rebbe knows and disproves of his future plans. The Rebbe though talking to the Mashpie, father and father's brother they have learned that Asher really doesn't belong to live in Austria, because of how uncontrollable and unbalanced he is.

I was disappointed that Asher was not going to go to Ausria because it would have been a good expirence for hom. He became so afraid to leave his little street that he had enclosed himself in it. Austria would have allowed him to see the world in a different perspective, and in turn helped with the paintings. He would know of another world and people that could be created. I also feel that the trip could have possibly drawn him further away form hid religon. Since it would be so hard to find a place to pray and worship, Asher would easily forget about it because he would not want to remember.

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