The Amir Baby

Dear CRAP members and supporters,

Shalom Chaverim!
Peace unto you, and peace unto your poodles that leave their aromatic sandal mines on the sidewalk.

A Spiritual Dry Spell

Indeed, it has been a long time since I have supplied you all with spiritual sustenance that you so crave and desire like a Gonen Segev ~~M&M candy~~ ecstasy pill . Unfortunately, the wells of inspiration have gone as dry and men of true CRAP piety have dwindled. Here and there you can still find them: ~~Israeli~~ New Middle Eastern journalists, politicians, and drug addicts. What's more, the volatile nature of the Tel Aviv Stock Exchange of late has been the cause of confusion and grief for much of the enlightened public.

Unto Us a Child is Born

Yes, the strains of Handel are ringing in our ears like music at a trance party in India. A son was born to the kippah-wearing-demon-of-Yemenite-extraction that fell our master and hero. Many of those that imagine that they are enlightened expressed their displeasure at this development.

But the truly enlightened, those who are men and women not just of faith but also of action, were happy to hear the news. Indeed the birth of the boy will breathe new life into our church and all that we stand for. We will fill New Middle Eastern web sites with enlightened articles and talk backs. We will howl, scream, and foam at the mouth. We will hound the boy and the Amir family with greater determination than ever. From cradle to grave, the son of Satan shall be harassed by enlightened journalists wherever he goes! Our paparazzi will pursue him as if he were the reincarnation of Princess Diana! We will demand that he be taken away from his mother and sent to foster parents that will raise him in the spirit of CRAP! Unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given!

The Legacy Goes On

This little boy will be a living reminder to the enlightened public. All those that see him will remember the principles of the Church of Rabin And Peace. His very existence will remind us of our master's legacy: enlightened murder (the Altalena), enlightened empowering of terrorists (Oslo), enlightened political corruption (Segev and Goldfarb), and enlightened Jewish illiteracy. Long live the son of Yigal and Larissa, and long live the Church of Rabin And Peace!