[Scene: The school corridor.  Steve’s standing alone by the trash can at the bottom of the 
stairs when Marty pops in on top of it holding a microphone.]
Marty: Welcome to the Marshall High Fashion Show!  Next on our run way [the twins come
down the stairs] the Twins!  Looking at this pair I have to ask God why he made two of these.
[Jordan walks past] Here’s Jordan Lubelle. [He jumps of the trash can.] Ladies, is Jordan as 
hot as he looks? [He licks his finger and puts it on Jordan’s shoulder, it makes a hissing 
sound] Oh yeah!
Steve: Man, it must be so cool to be invisible.  You can get away with anything!
Marty: You could do it too.
Steve: Really?
Marty: Yeah!  Abracadabra, sis kum ba.  Steve is now invisible, [thinks] Rah rah rah!
Steve: Wait, so I’m really invisible?
Marty: Hey, man.  If anybody can see you I’ll give you five bucks.
Steve: [Steps into the middle of the corridor and shouts.] Hey everybody!  Look at me!
I’m invisible! [He sees some cheerleaders talking by the gym.  He goes over to them making
monkey noises and beating his chest.]
Amy: I think I speak for all of us when I say ‘Ew’. [They walk off up the steps and Marty 
realises that they could see Steve.  Before he can warn him Mr Nitzke walks along.]
Steve: Oh, look.  Mr Nitzke.  Big, bad Mr Nitzke.
Marty: Ah, Steve.....
Steve: Hey, Mr Nitzke.  What are we learning in history today?  How old your hair style is?
[He starts ruffling up Mr Nitzke’s hair and making ‘Woo woo’ noises.]
Nitzke: [Looks up from the book he was reading.] Beauchamp!
Steve: Nyah!! [He jumps back]
Nitzke: You’re in more trouble than Picket’s troops at Gettysburg, son.
Steve: Is that bad?
Nitzke: I want a 20 page essay on the civil war on my desk tomorrow morning! [He gives 
Steve a long glare then walks off.]
Steve: I wasn’t invisible, was I?
Marty: No, but you did make five bucks. [He puts the money in Steve’s top pocket. Steve 
looks at him and Marty hangs his head in shame.] I’m sorry.

[Opening titles.]

[Scene: Steve’s room.  He’s sitting at his desk working on his paper when Judy, Pam and 
Katie come in.]
Judy: Hey Steve, we’re all going out for some Ice-cream, you wanna come?
Steve: No, I can’t.  I’ve got a 20 page paper due tomorrow.
Katie: I’m getting chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chip with chocolate sprinkles.
Judy: And you’ll be sick all night.
Katie: And I’ll be sick all night.
Pam: See what fun you’re missing?
Judy: We’ll bring you back something good, honey. [they leave.  Marty pops in.]
Marty: Hey.  Look, I’m really sorry, but I brought you a can of Heavenly mixed nuts. [He 
produces a can of nuts.]
Steve: So what makes them different from normal?
Marty: They’re 15% bigger.
Steve: Look, I appreciate the thought, but it’s not gonna help. 
Marty: Look, I got you into big trouble, but I brought someone big to help you out.
Steve: [Gets up] Yeah?  Who?
Marty: I’ll give you a hint.  He’s very honest and he wears a stove pipe hat. [Abe Lincoln 
appears behind Steve]
Steve:[excited] You brought Frosty the Snow Man!
Marty: [With a ‘don’t be so bloody stupid’ tone in his voice] No.  Abraham Lincoln.
Steve: [disappointed.] Oh. [He turns around and sees him standing there.]
Marty: Mr Lincoln, Steve here needs a killer paper on the civil war by tomorrow morning.
We thought you could help.
Abe: You want me to do his homework?  That doesn’t seem right.
Marty: I knew I should have brought back Nixon.
Steve: Nixon’s in Heaven?
Marty: He snuck in through the doggy door.
Steve: [to Abe] Listen, I’m sorry we bothered you Mr Lincoln. [To Marty] I don’t think 
anybody can help me now.
Abe: My boy, my advice to you is never give up.  I lost almost every election I was in, but I
didn’t give up.  I saw the United States fall nearly under, but I didn’t give up.  Then I was 
shot in the head.....it’s pretty difficult not to give up at that point.
Steve: Yeah! You’re right!  I’m not licked yet.
Marty: Hey, your speech really inspired him.
Abe: Hey, I am Lincoln. [he sits down at Steve’s desk] Let’s get cracking. [He pulls a feather 
pen out of his jacket and dips it in the glass on Steve’s desk.]
Steve: Uh, Mr Lincoln, that’s diet coke.
Abe: Uh huh. [He starts writing.]

[Scene: School corridor.  Mr Nitzke is walking down it when Steve turns round the corner 
right in front of him and thinks ‘Oh Oh’.]
Nitzke: Beauchamp, I just finished your civil war paper.
Steve: [worried] Uh huh.
Nitzke: It was great.  Not like the mindless swill I usually get from these stupid kids. [some 
kids walk past and look at him] No offence.  
Steve: Yeah, well, thanks. [Mr Nitzke pats him on the arm and walks off.  Steve grabs his 
arm in pain.  He starts to walk of and passes Marty who’s now sitting on the trash can.]
Marty: Alright, Steve, on the come by trail.
Steve: Yeah, it’s true.  But those girls still think I’m weird. [The cheerleaders are standing by 
the gym again with Jordan]
Marty: Look, they’ve only seen the ‘prancing monkey who thinks he’s invisible’ you.  Show 
them the real you.
Steve: No, I can’t.  I wish I was more like Jordan Lubelle.  He’s got all the lines.
Jordan: So I was all, like, duh! [The girls giggle]
Amy: Jordan, you are so funny.
Steve: I guess you can’t help me with that.
Marty: No, but I know who can. [He walks over to the steps and snaps his fingers.  Abe 
appears]
Abe: So, you wanna spark with a girl?  Bring along your fiddle and a couple of pigs for her 
ma and her pa.
Marty: Eh.[Snaps his fingers and Abe disappears.] Just give me one more changes.
Steve: Alright, fine. [Marty snaps his fingers again and Cleo appears on the stairs.]
Marty: Steve, meet Cleopatra.  I met her at a party at Sammy Davis Jr.’s pad.
Cleo: That man is the consimit entertainer.  He gives and gives and gives.
Marty: Cleo, Steve’s trying to win a lady’s heart, but she think’s he’s a geek.
Cleo: Well he’s no Flavius Maximus.
Marty: Tell me something I don’t know.  Is there anything you can do?
Cleo: Hm, I’ve got it.  You need to act aloof. Stand offish.  Don’t even talk to her.
Steve: All I ever do is not talk to her.
Cleo: You’re not talking to her out of fear.  You need to not talk to her out of confidence.
Steve: Uh huh. [He turns to Marty with a ‘help me’ look on his face.  Cleo turns his head 
around again to face her.]
Cleo: Trust me.  Give her an icy stare. [She turns his head to face Amy.  He gives her a 
really odd looking stare.  Jordan and the other girl walk off and Amy comes over to Steve 
looking confused.]
Amy: Steve, why are you staring at me?
Steve: Uh, sorry. [Cleo starts whispering in his ear.] I was just thinking, you have the timeless
beauty of the sphinx.
Amy: Really? 
Steve: There is no one who can match your loveliness.  Not even the thousand concubines of
Ramseys the second. [He gives Cleo a confused look]
Amy: Thank you.  No one’s every said that to me before.
Marty: The thousand porcupines of who now? [Cleo shuts him up with a look.]
Amy: I gotta run.  Can I call you later? [Cleo whispers something that looks long and 
complicated.]
Steve: Yes.
Amy: Great, bye. [She leaves via the stairs]
Steve: Hey thanks, Cleo.  You know, that flowery language really works. [He leaves]
Marty: Yeah! You’re the hottest 2000 year old babe this side of Ertha Kit. [She slaps
him and pops out.  Steve comes back looking confused.] She wants me. [The bell rings,
Steve and Marty shake hands and Steve leaves.  Marty starts to follow but Heady appears in 
the bell.]
Heady: Marty DePolo.
Marty: Yhah! [He nearly jumps out of his skin.]Why do you do that?
Heady:   Because I like to see you go ‘Yhah!!’
Marty: See how I helped Steve there?
Heady: Yes, and I want you to remember, you can help him but don’t help him to much.
Marty: I understand.
Heady: You do?
Marty: Not at all.
Heady: Well, let me explain it to you, yet again. [The bell rings again and Heady seems to be 
in pain.]
Marty: Ooo, that’s gotta hurt.  Well, bye bye Birdie. [He runs off and pops out before Heady 
can say anything.]

[Scene: Steve’s room.  He’s sitting at his desk working when Marty swings in on a vine doing 
a Tarzan impression]
Marty: Ah Ah Ah Ah AHHH! [He bumps into the wall, knocks a few things off the table and 
lands on the bed before jumping to his feet.]
Steve: Have you ever heard of just walking into a room?
Marty: [hurt] I work so hard on these entrances and you never appreciate them. [he sits down 
in a sulk.  The phone rings and sits next to Marty, who now looks excited, to answer it.]
Steve: Hello? [puts his hand over the phone] It’s Amy Cassover. [He talks into the phone 
again] Uh, tonight? [Marty nods.] Pick you up at eight?  And don’t be late? [Covers the 
phone.] Baby, you know what I like. [to the phone] uh, nothing.  Alright, bye. [He hangs up]
Marty: Alright! You’re dating Amy Cassover.
Steve: Oh, wait.  I can’t go!  I’ve got a big English paper due tomorrow.
Marty: Aw,[proud] this look like another job for ‘Teen Angel’!
Steve: That never gets old does it?
Marty: [Deflated] No, it doesn’t. And to help you with your English paper I give you...[he 
snaps his fingers and a white haired guy with a moustache and a white river boat suit thing 
appears in the room.]
Steve: Cornel Sanders?
Marty: No!  Mark Twain!
Steve: Mark Twain! Wow, pleased to meet you Sir. [He goes to shake his hand and sniffs.] 
Whoa!
Twain: That, son, is the robust aroma of the mighty Mississippi.  Clings to your white cotton 
suit like a kithe to it’s Mamma’s teat.
Marty: Alrightly then, Mr Twain.  Steve here need a little help with his English assignment. 
Twain: My boy, I’ll do your assignment faster than a bowl weebled.....
Marty: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Desk’s over there fog horn. [Twain sits down and gets to work]
Steve: Marty, we’re not gonna use these dead guys to do my homework forever, right?
Marty: No, of course not. Just til you get over the hump.
Steve: Great, now I’ve got some Physics homework too, can you pop someone in for that?
Marty: No problem! [He rubs his hair and snaps his fingers.  In a burst of static electricity 
Albert Einstein appears.]
Steve: Mark Twain again?
Marty: No!  Albert Einstein.  Alby, [he picks something up off the desk] here’s Steve’s 
Physics assignment.  Don’t forget to show your work.
Einstein: You vont me to do somevone elses homeverk?  Is zat ethical?
Steve: Look, Einstein, I used to think like you, but then I got smart.
Einstein: You pulled me from a party at Sammy Davis Jr.’s house for dis?  He vas about to 
zing ‘Candy man.’
Marty: Blah blah blah. [He hands him the homework] Peace!  We’re out. [He and Steve 
leave.]

[Scene: School corridor.  Steve and Marty walk out of the classroom.  Steve’s holding a sheet
of paper and Marty has his wings out.  A rare occurrence.]
Steve: Man, another A.  Mark Twain really knows his stuff.
Marty: Einstein’s pretty sharp too.  Of course he’s no Einstein. [Amy walks up]
Amy: Steve, I had a great time last night.
Steve: Thank you, [Marty whispers in his ear] my beautiful pyramid puss. [He and Amy both
look confused but Marty looks really pleased with himself.]
Amy: Anyway, since I’m running for homecoming queen I thought it would be so cool if you
were my king, so is it alright if I nominate you?
Steve: [Shocked] Me? Sure, why not?
Amy: Great [She walks off.  Jordan who was listening from the drinking fountain walks 
over.]
Jordan: Dude, you’re running for homecoming king?  Excellent! [The Twins, who were also 
at the fountain, turn around.]
Twin#1: I was once voted most unique!
Twin#2: I came in third! [They high five each other and walk off.]
Steve: Jordan, you don’t have a problem with me running against you?
Jordan: Are you kidding?  They parade you around the football field like some cheap piece of 
meat. Eh, you get a cool crown though. [He walks off.]

[Scene: Steve’s house.  Katie and Judy are measuring Katie by the door.]
Judy: Hey, Katie, you’ve grown half an inch since last time.
Katie: Aunt Pam, I grew half an inch!
Pam: Well congratulations, squirt.  Now imagine how much you’d grow if you’d give up 
those cigars and coffee. [Steve comes in the front door.]
Judy: Hi, Honey.  How was school?
Steve: Terrific!  I am running for homecoming king.
Judy: Oh, that’s great!  You know, I was the homecoming queen of my sophomore class, and
my junior class, and um, Pam was in some clubs too.
Pam: Technically detention isn’t a club.
Judy: Steve, if you need any help with your campaigns Aunt Pam and I would just love to 
give you a hand.
Pam: Hey, hey hey hey hey hey. [She shakes her head]
Steve: Thanks, but I think I can handle this one on my own. [He leaves.]

[The scene cuts to his room which is full of dead people with Marty in the middle. Steve 
walks in.]
Steve: Hey, Marty.  How’s the sweat shop going?
Marty: Awesome.  I’ve assembled the greatest minds of all time to help elect you 
homecoming king.  I’ve got Mark Twain of speeches, Cleopatra on image, George Gallop on
polling,  Pablo Picasso on posters, and Einstein, blowing up balloons.  And of course, your
campaigns manager, Abraham Lincoln.
Abe: Now I know it looks bad son, but don’t worry.  I was elected president of the United 
States and I’m as homely as a Wissura mule.
Marty: Yes, you’re quite an eye sore.
Abe: That’s true enough.
Steve: Dude, this is incredible.  I’m gonna be homecoming king, I’m getting straight A’s and 
I’m going on dates.  Life is good.
Marty: Thanks to Marty DePolo. [Everyone looks at him] And his elves.
Steve: Alright, keep up the good work team.  I gotta go meet Amy at the mall.
Einstein: Bring me back a vienner on a stick.
Twain: And one of those big cookies, boy howdy! 

[Shot: A newspaper comes spinning onto the screen.  The headline reads ‘Steve and Amy 
elected Homecoming King and Queen’.  The Scene cuts to the Rock where Marty is holding 
a copy of the paper.]
Marty: [Shouting] Extra, extra! Read all about it.  Teen Angel does it again.
Heady: [not sounding impressed] Very impressive.  And I suppose you did all these things for
Steve with out using trickery.
Marty: Well, conceivably I was outside bounds of the fringes of the grey area.
Heady: Marty, you know we don’t allow lawyers into Heaven.  
Marty: You just won’t admit I’m the best angel you got.
Heady: Well, Marty.  If you’re doing such a good job perhaps it’s time if you to move on to a 
new assignment.
Marty: A new assignment?  But what about Steve?
Heady: It sounds to me like he doesn’t need you anymore.
Marty: Maybe he doesn’t, but I always thought we’d be together.
Heady: We couldn’t keep the Beatles together, what makes you think we care about you and 
Steve Beauchamp?
Marty: Touche.
Heady: Now, Marty.  You’re new assignment will be one of our toughest cases.  Sammy 
Noah.
Marty: Sammy Noah?  The rock star?  Well, he is cool.
Heady: That’s what all the angels say......at first.  Ha ha ha ha [as he’s laughing a comet 
comes flying through the air and into his mouth.  He starts coughing.] Sorry.  I swallowed a 
comet.
Marty: Tissue? [He holds up a tissue to Heady.]

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: The place, the school corridor.  The shot, the top of the stairs.  The star, Steve 
Beauchamp, mega cool dude with attitude comes sliding onto the set.  With a quick 
‘Saturday Night Fever’ style boogie on the top step and a thumbs up from a fellow student
the all new Funky Steve struts down to the bottom, giving him a high five on the way past.
More people give him thumbs up and all the Cheerleaders hanging around by Marty’s trash 
can start jumping up and down and waving their pom poms when they see him coming.
He carries on towards the class room when the Twins walk past.]
Twin#1: Hey, way to win the election your highness.
Twin#2: Nice landside, Malibu. [They give him a thumbs up and walk off.  Marty appears by
the ‘Marty DePolo memorial drinking fountain’ and gives Steve a sad wave]
Steve: Marty!  Man, you won’t believe how popular I am!
Marty: Oh, that’s great.  Listen, I got some bad news, man.  I did such a good job with you 
they reassigned me.  I’m not your guardian angel anymore.
Steve: What? 
Marty: Hey, I’ll visit whenever I can.  I get all the Jewish holiday’s off. [whispers] The boss’ 
son is Jewish.
Steve: But you’re my best friend.
Marty: But you’re doing fine without me.
Steve: I am?  
Marty: Yeah.  I guess I’d better be going.
Steve: I’ll miss you, man. [They go to hug but just walk right through each other.]
Marty: Not solid enough.  I gotta eat more bananas.

[Scene: Sammy Noah’s apartment.  I swear it’s in a worse state than my room, and that’s 
hard to do.  Sammy’s slobbed out on the couch wearing just a robe and a pair of sunglasses.
Marty pops in with a puff of smoke and tries to sound dramatic.]
Marty: Sammy Noah!  I have come to straighten out your wretched life!
Sammy: [looks at him over his glasses.]Start in the bathroom.  I missed the toilet.
[Marty walks over to the open door in the back of the room and has a look.]
Marty: But you hit the mirror! [Sammy picks up his guitar and gives Marty a thumbs up]
Sammy: Oh, be an angel and score me some chicks.
Marty: What am I, an Arkansas state trooper? I’m here to give you moral guidance.
Sammy: Well, as part of your duties, could you perform the occasional Satanic ritual?
Marty: Let me check the manual. [He pulls out a book which he opens up.  Flames burst out 
of the pages an he quickly closes it.] No!

[Scene: Steve’s house.  Judy’s in the kitchen and Pam and Katie are in the living area when 
Steve comes in from the back of the house.]
Steve: Hey, see you later, Mom.  I’ve got a date.
Judy: On a school night?  Steve, are you sure you’re not taking on to much?  You’re going 
out on all these dates, you’re the homecoming king.
Steve: And I’m getting straight ‘A’s.
Pam: Oh my God, he’s turning into you.
Steve: Don’t worry, Mom.  I’ve got everything under control. [Abe pops up from behind the 
counter.]
Abe: I’m starving.  Haven’t they got any barley cakes or anything? [Einstein comes in from 
the back.]
Einstein: No, but there are dese vheatoes. [Abe takes one and eats it.]
Abe: hm, it’s like there’s a party in my mouth! [They head back to Steve’s room]
Steve: Excuse me, I’ve gotta go do.......[searches for the words].....bye. [He goes after them.]
[The scene cuts to Steve’s room where the dead guys are having a party.  Picasso’s painting
‘Picasso rules’ onto Steve’s mirror with green spray paint, Mark Twain is dancing around in 
a Mexican hat and his underwear, plus t-shirt, and George Gallop and some Arabian guy are 
playing basket ball.  Steve comes in]
Steve: Whoa, whoa! What the heck is going on here? [To Twain] You, put your pants on.
[The shot shifts and we can see Einstein playing with a Rubiks cube and Cleo kissing a fella
with a three cornered hat.] Al, where’s my Physics homework?
Einstein: I haven’t shtarted yet. It’z dis infernal cube, it can’t be solved I tell you.
[He throws it and it hits Abe in the back of the head.]
Abe: Ah! Hey.
Steve: [to Abe] What about my history paper?  Is that finished?
Abe: Uh, my dog ate it.
Steve: Oh, honest Abe.  I leave you people to do one simple job and you screw it up.  You are 
the most irresponsible group of legendary figures I have ever met. [They all look at him]
Twain: You can’t talk to us that way!
Einstein: Dat’s right!
Cleo: We’re history! [The closet door opens to reveal a bright light.  One by one they walk 
in]
Einstein: [with the cube] I’ve got it!
Twain: Check the bottom.  
Einstein: [He turns it over] Doh! [Gallop goes in with Steve’s basket ball.  Steve stops him,
snatches it back and sends him into the closet.  The door closes behind him and we can see
where Picasso wrote his name and painted a smiley face.]

[Scene: Sammy Noah’s apartment.  We’re confronted with the non too pleasant sight of a 
close up of Sammy lying on his front on a table eating a burger with the ketchup dripping from 
it.  He’s covered by only a towel over his butt.  Marty is massaging what we hope is his back 
and looks completely discussed.]
Sammy: That’s it.  Right there.  Now do the Butt. [Marty backs off and we can see he’s 
wearing plastic gloves {bless him} which he now removes]
Marty: There are some places even angels fear to tread.
Sammy: Fine. [He swings around and sits up] Then help me write a song. [Marty hold out a 
plate which Sammy puts the gross looking burger on] What rhymes with Vomit? [He pulls on 
a t-shirt which Marty had swung over his shoulder.]
Marty: You really should do that yourself.
Sammy: I’ve got a bad hangover.  Be an angel do something about my head.
Marty: Fine! [He snaps his fingers and Sammy’s head shrinks.]
Sammy: [in a squeaky voice] Oh, like your the first guardian angel to shrink one of my body 
parts.  Turn it back! [It grows again.  In a normal voice] Now, my burger’s cold.  Be and 
angel and pop it in the microwave.
Marty: [Doing a very good Igor impression and side stepping over to the microwave.] Yes, 
master.  Whatever you say, master.  Right away, master.
Sammy: I like your new attitude.
Marty: I was being sarcastic!
Sammy: [mimicking him] well it wasn’t clear! [Marty walks over to the microwave looking 
annoyed and opens the door.  Heady’s inside.]
Heady: Hello, Marty.
Marty: Aghh!  Oh, it’s just you Heady.  I thought it was a talking rump roast.
Heady: Oh for........How’s it going with Mr Noah?
Marty: Oh, he’s running me ragged.  Cook this, clean that.  He throws up constantly.
Heady: Could it be that he got so spoiled because his previous guardian angels did everything
for him?
Marty: Isn’t that what a guardian angel’s supposed to do?
Heady: If you give a man a fish he’ll eat for a day.  If you teach a man to fish he’ll eat for a 
lifetime.
Marty: [In the long shot we can see Sammy trying to balance a spoon on his nose.] Enough 
with the kung fu stuff, grasshopper.  What are you trying to tell me?
Heady: That a guardian angel’s job is to help someone help them self.  Not to do everything 
for him.
Marty: [understanding, finally] Oh, I get it.  Just like me and Steve.
Heady: Duh!
Marty: So does this mean I can go back to Steve?
Heady: Yes, you certainly can.
Marty: Oh, thanks Head! [He shuts the microwave door and Heady starts spinning around and 
screaming]
Heady: Ahhhh!

[Scene: Same as just after the commercial break.  Steve walks down the stairs and tries to high 
five someone but the shut him out.  He walks past the cheerleaders who just ignore him and 
Mr Nitzke stops him as he walks past the trash can.]
Nitzke: Beauchamp!  Your latest history report was terrible.  You’re back to number one on 
my enemies list.
Steve: You have an enemies list?
Nitzke: I can neither confirm or deny that report. [He walks off.  Steve carries on walking 
and Jordan comes up to him.]
Jordan: Hey, homecoming king.
Steve: Thanks, Jordan.  Hey, sorry to be the one to beat you.
Jordan: Oh, it all worked out for the best.  Well, I was brooding about it down at the mall
when this modelling agent discovered me.
Steve: No way.
Jordan: Yeah, yeah.  He said I looked like a young James Dean.  You know, the sausage 
dude. [Amy comes out of the class room]
Amy: Steve.  We need to talk.
Jordan: Dude, this looks bad. [He walks off.]
Amy: I can’t believe you broke our date last night.
Steve: Amy, listen, I’m sorry.  I was swamped with homework.  But, did I tell you you have 
the timeless beauty of Leon Sphinx?
Amy: What?
Steve: Michael Sphinx? [She shakes her head and walks off.  Marty pops in by the trash can.]
Steve: Marty!  You’re back!
Marty: Yuh huh! [they do their complex little high five thing I’m not even going to try to 
describe.] I’m here to stay.  New directions from the man upstairs. [worried] Did I leave him 
in the microwave?[normal] Oh well.
Steve: I’m so glad you’re here.  I really need your help.  I’m behind in all my homework and 
I can’t get the Mark Twain smell out of my bedroom.
Marty: I’ll help you get back on your feet.
Steve: Hey, I can’t ask for more than that. [They put their arms over each others shoulders 
and start to walk off.]
Marty: Oh, man.  I’m so glad I’m not Sammy Noah’s guardian angel anymore.  I feel sorry 
for the sap they assigned to him.

[Scene: Sammy Noah’s place.  Sammy’s having his shoulders massaged.  The camera panes 
out to reveal.......Abe Lincoln! {beat you didn’t see that coming (sarcastic cough)}]
Abe: Somebody once asked me, ‘Mr President, work in your campaign?’  I replied, ‘About 
half.’  
Sammy: Very funny.  Now do the butt. [Abe steps back and looks at it.]
Abe: Ah.

[Tag scene: The school corridor.  Steve’s getting something out of his locker when Mr Nitzke 
comes along.]
Nitzke: Is that a Twisted Sister pin on your uniform?!  What do you wanna do with your life?
Steve: [turns to the front and shouts.] I wanna Rock!!!! [He walks of past Sammy who’s 
standing by the class room door and gives him a high five.  Sammy walks over to Mr Nitzke.]
Sammy: These kids today, they’re so angry. [They start to walk off together.]
Nitzke: Oh, tell me about it. Hey, you wanna go for a smoothy?
Sammy: Only if I’m buying.
Nitzke: Oh, you got it my brother.  I like your hair.
Sammy: I like yours. [They walk off]

The end!!! 

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