How McDonalds World Domination Quest Works:
We've all heard the phrase "Ronald Makes it Magic". It is perhaps the cheeziest company slogan ever made. The only magic Ronald makes is magical clones of me and you! Here's how it works. Everytime you go to McDonalds there is a black, burnt, shriveled up french fry at the bottom of the French Fry Box. Naturally, you take it and throw it on the floor. But when you touch it, it picks up some DNA from your finger. After McDonalds closes, Ronald McDonald sweeps up the burnt french fries. He dives into a small hole deep within the ball pit. Down there is where thousands of McDonalds engineers work. By an unknown process, They turn the DNA into a robotic being, which can regurgitate beef patties, french fries, and other McDonalds items. These beings have IQs no higher than 10. These completed robotic beings become McDonalds employees. The regurgitate the food you want and put them in a machine that radiates them and puts a chemical in them that makes you want more and lowers your brain power. It won't be long until the world is populates with these robtic beings/McDonalds employees. The only way to prevent this for now is to not eat at McDonalds. If you have an idea of how to stop this ruckus Please email us as soon as possible.
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