The Mark McGuire Conspiracy

It all started on Tuesday.On FOX.I switched the T.V. On, afraid that I had missed the first part of the King of the Hill season premier(you know what King of the Hill is don't you? That adorable show about men drinking beer and propane, made by the wonderful creators of Beavis & Butt-head).Well anyways,All I saw was Mark Mcguire being interviewed.that went on for about an hour.(It was the post-game interviews of the game Mcguire hit his 62nd home run.)Finally it was over. I thought that KOTH(King of the hill)had just been delayed about an hour.I knew the show was going to be on, because the screen became dark for a few seconds,like it always does between commercials and the show.That gave me time to ask myself "WHOS GONNA DIE" for a second I even thought It might be Hank!terrible thought.(For those of you who have never seen KOTH,you probably have no idea what I'm talking about and thats too bad for you.)I was staring at the ceiling when a heard music that sounded like this:da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daaadadada-da-da-da.Sound familiar?I didn' recognize it either.But I knew It wasn't the KOTH theme song because it goes a little more like this: dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dud-dum. Then I looked at the T.V. screen but instead of seeing Hank and gang,I saw the face of Tim Allen!AHHHHHHHHHH! It was about the ugliest thing I have ever seen! I don't have any thing against the guy;I DO have something against the guy stealing precious Tuesday night primetime to show old Home Improvement reruns.But I still had hope until midway through the show,when I saw some fat,yellow print,telling me that KOTH had been postponed until next Tuesday! All because of Mark Mcguire! By that time It was late.I was already tired enough to have gone to bed a while earlier.So for the next two days,nothing had happened, and I thought I had lost Mcguires syndrome.But On Friday morning,still catching up on lost sleep,I slept in.until 7:30.So I jumped out of bed,not allowing time to watch out for large objects I might run into. One of those large objects is a door.I ran into it. And my nose began to bleed.And it wouldn't stop.So I tried to eat breakfast with one hand trying to stop the steadily flowing bloody nose.One more early morning mishap occured.My breakfast that morning was waffles,with really sticky syrup on it.And my coordination wasn't doing so good that morning.So when the waffle was above my shirt,about ready to enter my mouth,some of the sticky syrup from the waffle dripped on my shirt. So I changed shirts,And made it to school Tired,and my nose on the verge of bleeding again.When English came along,I found out I forgot one detail on my english homework.that is to do it.So I scribbled down some answers and the person who corrected them marked most of them right.I thought I would have missed more than none?!? So that was one of the best things that happened to me that day.Then in soccer practice I wiffed about five out of five wide open shots. When I got home,I started to type this story.just as I was about to post it to you,the screen froze.I needed to get my mind off of it for a while, so I watched dateline. What fun.So I tried again. when I was almost done Micrsoft internet explorer quit,erasing everything I had written. So I decide to wait until today,Saturday, to try again. When I was a little bit over halfway done,I went to play football with some friends,so I saved my progress.Or so I thought.When I got back All my work somehow didn't get saved. Now I am working on this for the fourth time.Right now,I am expecting the screen to freeze.So I better get this posted.fast.Either that or get a new computer.Anyways,that was my story.I'm hoping you all agree with me that Mark Mcguire is evil. Maybe Sammy Sosa is my long awaited savior to get me out of this Mcguire mess I'm in. I hope he breaks Mcguire's record this year.

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