Occasionally on IRC you come across someone who's just so rude, so indescent, so far below the par of humanity that you simply must play him for the fool, just for kicks. And, on occasion, you come across someone so dimwitted that they just don't know when their chain is being yanked. And when the two come in concert with one another, the result never fails to be absolutely hilarious.
Case in point: this log where our faithful friend Sn0wGurl has hooked a man during one of our little "field trips" to the channel #3waysex. Anyone who would frequent such a channel must have some sort of hormonal imbalance to begin with , but this customer appears to have his brain in a fog as a result of it.
I suppose there is a moral to this story. When someone plays dumb on IRC chances are they're not. Chances are you're being taken. As the curtain rises on our little show, we see Sn0wGurl playing the complete idiot...
<mellow27> hi, how are you?
<Sn0wGurl> great an you?
<mellow27> fine! finished work and now relax!
<Sn0wGurl> hehe cool
<Sn0wGurl> I'm just trying to figure out what a 3way is
<mellow27> how old are you?
...interesting that he picks this moment to ask how old she is, doncha think? Up until this point he seems perfectly okay with whatever the hell her age might be, just so long as she knows what a three-way is...
<mellow27> and ya never heard of 3way?
<Sn0wGurl> no
<Sn0wGurl> I guess I led a sheltered life
<mellow27> 3 people have sex together
<mellow27> 2m1f or 2f1m combos
<Sn0wGurl> so much math!
<Sn0wGurl> don't you get confused?
<mellow27> how?
<Sn0wGurl> who is who etc
<mellow27> no, why?
...the person of even AVERAGE intelligence would end things there, but not this dimwit...
<Sn0wGurl> just curious
<Sn0wGurl> so how do you do it?
<mellow27> you just bonk
<mellow27> lick
<mellow27> suck
<mellow27> nibble
<Sn0wGurl> tell me more!
<Sn0wGurl> I'm starting to get it.
<Sn0wGurl> what's the equation again?
<mellow27> have you had sex before?
<Sn0wGurl> no
<Sn0wGurl> is that ok?
...uhm, ya, because you usually find virgins hanging out in #3waysex. On second thought, you probably do, but most of them male and 13 years old and claiming they have done it a thousand times and are qualified sexperts, but anyway...
<mellow27> yup
<Sn0wGurl> can you teach me?
<mellow27> well, imagine laying on your back with one guys cock in your pussy, and the other guys cock in your mouth
<Sn0wGurl> ok
<Sn0wGurl> I got that part
<Sn0wGurl> how far do you put it in?
<Sn0wGurl> how do I see my calculator with a cock in my mouth?
<Sn0wGurl> this is so much math
<mellow27> or, one guy laying under you with his cock in your pussy,and onther laying on your back with his cock in your arse
<Sn0wGurl> ok ok
<Sn0wGurl> I'm writing it down
...at this point, our chump surpasses the level of the average rube and enters into whole new realms of gullibility...
<Sn0wGurl> then what?
<mellow27> lol...
<mellow27> silly
<Sn0wGurl> sorry I'm new at this...
<Sn0wGurl> my umm what do you call it "pussy" is not functional yet
<mellow27> so you neva done anything kinky?
<Sn0wGurl> nope
<Sn0wGurl> I want to learn though
<Sn0wGurl> lemme sharpen my pencil okay?
<mellow27> do you masterbate much?
<Sn0wGurl> what is that?
<Sn0wGurl> sorry
<mellow27> where are you from?
<Sn0wGurl> I'm a pre med student...but sex stuff throws me way off
<mellow27> do you speak english?
<Sn0wGurl> some
...and what, pray tell, has she been speaking to this point, Esperanto???...
<mellow27> its touching yourself
<Sn0wGurl> is that anything like when your dog licks up the peanut butter you spread between your legs...
<Sn0wGurl> that's normal though right?
<mellow27> you get your dog to lick your sex?
<Sn0wGurl> you act suprised
<mellow27> that is kinky
<mellow27> how long have you been doing that for?
<Sn0wGurl> is that good?
<Sn0wGurl> since I was 5
<Sn0wGurl> what?
<Sn0wGurl> is that normal?
<Sn0wGurl> he likes peanut butter though... and its the way he prefers to eat it
<mellow27> you are kiddin me..
<Sn0wGurl> no
<Sn0wGurl> is this bad?
<mellow27> you work it out yourself
<Sn0wGurl> shrug
<Sn0wGurl> he likes it and so do I
<mellow27> had fucks you too?
...I'm not sure that last line can be translated into our language...
<Sn0wGurl> had fucks me what?
<Sn0wGurl> expalin fucking...how do you say intercourse?
<mellow27> that is it exactly
<Sn0wGurl> same thing?
<mellow27> intercourse
<Sn0wGurl> ok I think I know a little
<Sn0wGurl> where does the man put his peter again? peter right?
<mellow27> in your vagina
<Sn0wGurl> oh ok
<Sn0wGurl> what else goes on
<Sn0wGurl> does it tickle?
<mellow27> do you have intercourse with the dog?
<Sn0wGurl> well I always ask
...Well I suppose it would just be rude not to ask...
<mellow27> have you ever put your finger in your vagina?
<Sn0wGurl> well not my finger but other things from around my house
<Sn0wGurl> it tickles depends on what I use
<mellow27> you have so put your finger in there
<Sn0wGurl> ok just once....shhhhhh
<mellow27> your full of it..
<Sn0wGurl> q-tip, popsickle, blender, stuff like that
<mellow27> see ya
<Sn0wGurl> fine don't tutor me!
...The amazing part of this whole isn't the fact that this guy so easily fell for the whole gag. He's probably a virgin himself, so to find one online in the same sex channel he frequents isn't so surprising. No, the amazing, shocking part of it all is that it took this lame ass 30 minutes to realize he was being taken for a ride. Now that's comedy my friends.
Thanks, Sn0wGurl, for showing once again that when your brain is in a hormonal haze, your just a sucker waiting to be taken. >:^)