The day before flight, I took the early morning shift at work in order to help reduce jet lag from going ahead seven time zones. Friday, I tried to also get up at 4am but didn’t get up until 6am. My flight from Dulles to JFK wasn’t until 1:45. I killed some time by going to an open house for my company’s computer supplier at 9am. About 11:45 my brother picked me up to go to the airport. I flew a J41 commuter turbo-prop to New York. My first flight ever. Unfortunetly, the United Express people sent my luggage to the plane before I told them I was going to Kyiv in the end, so I had to claim my luggage at JFK.
I had a three hour layover at JFK. Taking the free airport bus with three bags wasn’t real fun. Finnair had originally misspelled my named and was to have corrected tickets waiting at the ticket counter. Everything went smoothly enough except you couldn’t here the announcements at the boarding area. Ray, another tour member, met me at the boarding area. He said I was only the second person he had asked if I was on the tour. I guess I just didn’t look Finnish like everyone else. Unfortunetly we were assigned seats 30 row apart.
The flight was on an MD11. Eight hours in cramped seats. Luckily the one empty seat on the plane was next to me. Right after the girl next to me went to sleep, I had to go to the bathroom. She wasn’t real happy about that. An hour later when I needed to go again, I didn’t have the nerve to wake her again. Five hours later when she woke an went herself, I followed. I think it was more nerves than needing to go. On the entire flight I got about ten minutes sleep. Five came at the end of the in flight movie. Darn, I missed the end of that thriller “Family Plan” with Leslie Neilson. After what seemed like an eternity, we landed at Helsinki.
In a large, nearly deserted airport we waited for almost six hours for our flight to Kyiv. Ray was able to get some sleep on the benches but not me. After a twenty dollar lunch, we saw a Balkan Air plane land and we went down to the boarding area. We met Stuart (American Stuart) while waiting to board. Ray had to have an aisle seat and the only one was in the smoking section. None of us could identify the plane, but I said it was Russian. Once we boarded, they agreed. I may be wrong but regardless it was old. (Later I determined it was a TU-154) No overhead compartments, just a long shelf for carry on luggage. The only thing that worried me was that the emergency door next to me opened right in front of the engine intake. The seats were actually the most comfortable of the three planes over. Food wasn’t bad either. When we got to Kyiv, we must have had to go around. Either that or the pilot was bored because we did some interesting maneuvering. Ray didn’t hear the landing gear go down and was getting worried. I would too if my seat belt kept coming undone by itself like his.
Ray left his coat on the tram from the plane to the airport. He kept getting out of the passport control line to ask about it so I joined Stuart and went through with him. Fairly simple process. You get that piece of paper that you need to get out of the country that they don’t tell you about. Since it has ads on it, most people throw it away and are fined on exiting. Stuart thought he lost his when we told him later but I think he found it. He also thought he had lost his passport and was kind of accusing two airport workers when he found it. They just laughed, no harm done. Everything I had read said you had to have a declaration filled out when you enter and would fill out a second when you left and turn both in together when leaving the country. At customs there is a green and red line without much explanation. Everyone was herded in the red area. Stuart went first and was given the form and was filling it out. Ray was still looking for his coat. When I got to the customs man, he asked for my form. I told him I hadn’t got one on the plane, none of us had. I thought I would get one from him like Stuart had from his customs man. The officer asked me how much money I had and I told him $750. He said I didn’t need one and to just go. I asked if I didn’t need to leave and he just said go. After he said go nicely the third time, I figured I had best just leave. Turns out if you have less than $1000 and nothing to declare you don’t need one and can go through the green line.
The bus ride to the hotel was interesting. At first their driving seems like madness, but if you watch they are actually very polite drivers, they just don’t pay attention to the lines. Once at the hotel we have about 90 minutes then a meeting with the translators that are available through the tour. We meet in the lobby and go to a bar/restaurant that will become know as our place. A nice small bar. We get to know each other until about 11pm. We guys then went back to the tour leaders room and looked at pictures and talked until 2am Sunday morning. To recap from Friday at 6 am EST (1pm Kyiv time) until 2am Sunday Kyiv time my contact lenses were in and I had a grand total of 10 minutes sleep.
Oddly enough I woke up early Sunday and was down stairs by 9 for breakfast with the guys. I had suggested when possible that we meet for breakfast at 9 so we could discuss the previous days events. This worked out very well. Later that morning we had the walking tour of Kreschatik street. We saw where the stores we would need are and a few other sites.
Now, I had come on the tour more for touristy reasons and to meet Tatiana who I had been writing to for a couple of months, but I wasn’t opposed to the whole singles thing either. At the first social, I met a girl from Nikolaev who didn’t speak any English. After talking to a few others, I went back to her, got a translator and left for a walk around the city. Her mother had told her to go see this house with animals in it architecture. The translator knew of the house and we went there. After a stop at a cafe for cake, we went back to the hotel to call it a night. After she went up to her room, I saw Ray and some others in the lobby. Ray had caused a girl to miss her train home and was stuck with her for the night and next day. She didn’t speak any English and when she walked away for a minute, Ray looked at me and kept repeating ‘I am in hell’. After a snack at our place, she wanted to go dancing at the River Palace. We got a couple of cabs and went. Unfortunetly, Nadiya, one of the tour employees, didn’t notice I had changed my shoes for my walk earlier. She managed to talk our way to what I assume was the manager. Since it was late on a Sunday night and there weren’t many people there, he let me use a pair of the shoes the keep for dignitaries with the same problem. Nadiya said this was an extremely nice thing he was doing for me. At the end of the night she said there wasn’t a charge, but I figured I had best give him something so she suggested five Hrivna.
The next morning at breakfast, we joked about poor Ray. Later we had the bus tour of the city and she came along with Ray. None of us guys had a clue what she was saying the whole time. Nadiya and the tour director’s fiancee talked with her on the trip. By the end of the day, the rest of us were kind of sad to see her go. I was fun to watch her and Ray. I had hoped to have the girl I met join us but she had errands to run for her mother. We did get together later for a walk and dinner. It was an interesting walk. When we went by the opera, she asked if I would take her. I agreed. As we walked she said she had to be back by 8 because she had other plans. Next thing I know she is asking about the marriage process and saying she will take English courses next semester. She also wanted to know if I was planning on going to the social on Tuesday. By the end of the trip, I realized she was asking about the opera for the next night which would coincide with the social and I think the marriage questions were just in general. Her plans that night at 8, as I would confirm later, were with Ray. The next day she would cancel the opera plans. Both Ray and I were at the social so I assume she had other things to do for her mother.
Immediately before the second social I noticed several good looking girls but they evidently didn’t like the competition and left. Once inside there were only a few girls of interest. One was a 26 year old blonde. She was kind of cute and sexy. At 8, Nadiya and I went to my room to call Tatiana in Sevastopol to finalize my plans to fly down and meet her. When I returned a lady with a child not too much younger than I came up to talk to me. Then, two kind of scary girl asked me over to there table. Luckily Tom, from Texas, came over and joined us and while he was talking I slipped away. Thank You Tom. At this point I called the 26 year old over and had Nadiya get a translator and we left. The 26 year old could speak some English but the translators are good and at $5/hr fairly cheap. I had talked about the animal building earlier with her but she didn’t know what I was talking about so we went there. I have now been there twice and both times at night.
The next morning, British Stuart and I went for a walk down Kreschatik and I asked if he wanted to see the building with the animals. Just when I thought I had got us totally lost in Kiev, I looked up and we were right in front of the building. Finally I get to see it in the daytime. Later in the day the tour director, John, called me and I went to talk to him. Also, I took my extra suitcase that I wouldn’t need in Sevastopol to keep in his room. Tom was there and we found out it was Nadiya’s birthday. While John’s fiancee went for cake, Tom and I went to get a present. Tom decided we should get her a scarf. I found one that I thought would go well with what I have seen her wearing previously. Well, that’s one point for me, she loved it.
The next day, Nadiya got a driver and took me to the airport to make sure I got on the right plane. I thought for sure I would be the only American on the plane. About five minute after we got there, a couple walked up to where we were waiting and started talking in English. They were from Great Falls, about 2 minutes from where I work in Virginia. What were the odds. Well I pretty much just followed them to the plane. Nadiya had told me that as soon as she left me, she was going straight to church to pray for me. Evidently they have great confidence in their airlines and planes in the Ukraine. Our plane was a Russian turboprop An-24 that we had to load our own luggage on. It took us to Simferopol Airport. We left from Zhulhany, the domestic airport in Kyiv, where there were two MiGs sitting off the end of the runway being overgrown by weeds. When we landed at Simferopol we taxied at high speed for about 15 minutes. Evidently the runway is in a different city than its airport or something. When we finally reached the airport they threw the luggage to us and lead us around the building to a wooden gate. They opened the gate and we were out of the airport. Waiting for me on the other side was Tatiana.
I knew she was special when I saw her. She had arranged with a friend of the family to drive us to Sevastopol. I think it was $20. Its a two hour drive past some gorgeous scenery. I think she would have preferred I spend more time looking at her and less at the scenery. When we got to Sevastopol she dropped me off at the hotel and told me to call her when I was ready. I was ready but she insisted I rest a little.
The hotel was OK. The ‘Yard Hotel’ was very near where she lived. The bedroom was nice enough but the bathroom wasn’t quite up to western standards. For under $20 a night though, I could live with it for 3 nights. The design of the toilet left a great deal to be desired and the water pressure in the shower was non-existent. Supposedly, it has the best water in Sevastopol but I wasn’t going to test it. I still used my iodine tablets for drinking water. Breakfast came with the room and it was great. I always had the eggs with orange juice. Overall, the place reminded me of a 1970's Holiday Inn.
When she got me to her house, I didn’t take off my shoes. I had read that taking them off was a big deal, but nobody said anything and I kind of wanted to keep them on. The dinner was potatoes with what I think was chicken on top covered in gravy. I started eating the potatoes first and her parents noticed and said something to her in Ukrainian. The next thing I know, she picks up my knife and starts cutting my meat for me. I had also read that it was the mans place to keep the glasses filled, but she kept filling them before I could. After dinner we went back to my hotel room. We sat on the end of the bed and talked the rest of the night.
Friday she had a class she didn’t want to miss so we went for a walk around the city until 11. The sat me down in a courtyard next to the school building and told me not to talk to anyone or look at any of the girls. I didn’t talk to anyone. Some of the sexiest girls you have ever seen walked by during the next hour an 20 minutes. When she came out and asked me if I looked at the girls, I of course said ‘what girls?’. We went back to the city and I asked if she wanted to come back to Kyiv with me Sunday for a few days. We went back to her home for dinner and she mentioned it to her parents. Not much was said and we went back to my hotel. Now, I was planning to ask her to marry me by this point but was trying to find a romantic spot to do it, but of course her parents didn’t know this. The next morning she told me her father said it was up to her but her mother was not happy about the invitation.
Saturday morning she took me to the ancient Greek city of Chersonesus. Her father said it was 4000 years old (from what I’ve read its 2000). There was a staircase leading down to a small beach. The rest of the shore was cliffs. We went down the stairs to the perfect spot to ask her. Right as I was about to ask, she looks out and sees someone swimming 10 foot off shore. Damn. He didn’t swim away either. So back up we went. Finally, at a bell arch near the edge, I looked around and saw nobody nearby. I put my arms around her and asked her to marry me. She kissed me but I told her I wanted a verbal answer. She said yes. Then she told me I had to ask her parents permission. Back to her place.
When her father came home from work, he asked how our day went and I told him that we went to Kersones and I asked her to marry me. He seemed not to understand what I said but I think he just wanted to make me sweat a little. I repeated what I said while she translated for her mother. Now she had made some remarks earlier about my taking many pictures of the scenery and few of us, but I was a little worried about handing my camera over to a stranger. It wasn’t a particularly expensive camera, but still I didn’t want to lose it. Ukrainian are very nice people, but I don’t trust anybody that much without knowing them. I know you need pictures of the two of you together for the INS so I was planning on taking pictures of us later. What she didn’t quite understand is that I had brought fifteen rolls of film with me on the trip (nine with me to Sevastopol). The pictures of Chersonesus are incredible. Of course the ones of her are the best.
That night back at the hotel we discussed some things for the future . Somewhere along the line she said a friend of hers tried the fiancee visa and it didn’t work and that a thousand girls had gone to Kyiv to get one and only 3 did. I tried to explain that tourist visas not fiancee visa are issued in Kyiv. Fiancee visas are issued in Warsaw but she insisted that something in Kyiv would stop it from working. I know that tourist visas are almost always rejected and she must have heard the story wrong, but try and convince her of that. I told her I would get an attorney and it would work real well but she still doesn’t believe it. I can tell this is going to be fun.
Sunday morning we have a couple of hours before we have to leave for the airport. After she had left last night, a had done most of my packing so that we would have the whole morning to do other things. Her father and a friend of his drive us back to the airport. She just keeps getting sadder and sadder. When we get in the airport, I see the couple from Great Falls going to meet their plane. After they check in, he came back around and asked me how my trip was. I put my arm around her and said ‘great’. He talked to her in Russian for a few minutes and then he congratulated me. I assume she told him about our engagement. Since I don’t speak Russian, who knows.
Well it came time for me to check in. Guess what. The agency that sold me the ticket in Kyiv didn’t stamp my return flight ticket. The ladies at the gate were not going to let me on the plane. Her father went to another line with the ticket and they evidently said it would be alright. Well, going back and forth a few times didn’t accomplish much. A man I presume works for the airline was at the counter when we returned the third time and he got involved. He asked where I got the ticket but the best I could say was ‘In Kyiv off the main road’. Luckily, while the rest of them were arguing, I found my receipt. The man told them to take it and let me on. A piece of advice, if you ever go to the Ukraine, THEY LOVE STAMPS. Everything must be stamped.
I flew back on a YAK-40. Its a tri-engine jet. We flew into Borisypol airport. You have to go through a customs area but since its a domestic flight, you just walk through. On the other side was the driver that the tour group had arranged. When he started the car, the rolling stones were playing on the radio. The driver looked at me and said ‘Rolling stones......Mick Jagger yeah’. I was happy, I knew I was going to get a quick ride back to the hotel.
When I got to my room a little after 6pm I realized that I hadn’t eaten since 8am. I walked to McDonalds but the place, as usual, was too crowded so I walked back. I saw American Stuart walking out with a girl and then saw John and his fiancee talking on the stairs. I let him know I was engaged. I talked with him for a few minutes then went foraging for food. I didn’t want to leave the hotel at this point so I tried the snack bar on the sixth floor. I think there is a bigger restaurant on the seventh but I just wanted food. The snack bar only had wafer crackers. I went through two packs then went back to my room for the night.
The next morning I had breakfast with the guys and told them. Afterwards, I went and talked to the tour groups translator in the lobby. I had a few last things I wanted to do and wanted someone who spoke the language with me. We made arrangements to meet when she got off duty at 12 noon.
By this time I had stopped trying to fit in. Everyone, especially the women had been staring at me since I had gotten there. I had been trying to wear the same kind of clothes but was running out of clean laundry and didn’t care much about my appearance at this point. The locals were going to stare anyway so who cares. I wore a t-shirt and light pants and the translator was in a suit. The first thing we did was take three rolls of film to be developed. She worked out a great deal. Then we went to see the sites I still wanted to see. After walking for hours, I was about to drop dead. It was a little hazy and humid and I was sweating. I looked at the translator and she was fine. She hadn’t even broken a sweat. At this point we are waiting for the film to be developed and are sitting in a park talking. I told her about why I was in the informal (to say the least) clothes and she explained to me why everyone was staring. It had nothing to with what I was wearing. It because I smile all the time. The men over there almost never have any expression on their face, at least not in public. Now I find out. I could have been wearing t-shirts all along and it wouldn’t have made a difference.
Back at the hotel, I show John the pictures. One time when I was loading the film on one of the tours, I didn’t cover the lens while snapping the shutter to load the film. He and his fiancee were walking in front of me at the time. I got two great pictures of their respective butts. He recognized his fiancee’s right away and confiscated one of the pictures. Later that night he was taking out some of the local staff and invited those of us that didn’t have dates to come along. We went to Uncle Sams. A very American type place. Your typical restaurant/bar. Just like American places, they give you way to much food just so they can charge you for it.
The next morning was kind of dreary looking at first but later cleared off. Most of us went to lunch together at our place. About half the guys were staying in Kyiv instead of coming back with the group. Ray had gone out with that girl from Nikolaev, and was thinking of going to see her, amongst others of course. Oh Ray. I had borsch one last time.
We went to the airport very early. On the way, the highway was backed up for a roadblock. The driver took the bus down an offramp, did a u-turn on the ramp and came up on the other side of the roadblock. Cool driving. We waited at the lounge (so to speak) and I noticed the airline guy from Simferopol Airport walk by. He was too far away to say anything to but it was cool to see him there anyway. While walking around to check our flight, a guard stopped the tour director and asked to see his passport. When we went through customs, we all qualified to go through the green line. They asked Bill about fifteen questions to see if he qualified, I went second and they asked me one. Do you have any art work? NO. OK you can go. I was actually kind of disappointed. When we got upstairs, it looked more like a western style airport. A nice little bar and a duty free shop.
The Balkan Air flight back was a 737. About 2/3 full, big comfortable seats and an enormous amount of leg room. Nice flight. Coming into Helsinki at 9:00 the pilot announced it was 4 degrees outside. I had to remind John, METRIC. He seemed relieved until I reminded him that still worked out to about 38 degrees Fahrenheit. Considering how warm it was when we left Kyiv it felt like 4 degrees. On approach to the airport, we were treated to a maneuver that you don’t get on western airlines. Low enough that you could read the lite up building signs, the pilot made a right turn by put the plane up on a wing. I swear we were looking straight down out the window.
In the airport, passport control went real quickly. There was nobody at customs, we just walked right through without stopping. Bill didn’t want to wait for the airline bus to take us to the hotel so we grabbed a cab. Evidently we were able to get across what hotel we wanted because he got us there. The Intercontinental Hotel, damn nice place. The Finnair supplied rooms were great. The free breakfast the next morning was incredible. John and I thought about walking around town but when we went outside it, we discovered it had gotten colder overnight.
We meet Bill around 11:30 and went to the airport real early not wanting to take any chances. Bill was flying first class and John was a member of the airline club and could bring in one guest. The three of us waited in the Finnair club. Free snacks, drinks and Internet access.
The flight back, middle seats on the MD11 again. This time there was an American tour group of mostly senior citizens coming home. The tour director is counting the girls under 50. Didn’t have to count very far. The guy next to me was returning from Latvia, real nice guy. The guy next to John looked like a loner. Not exactly what you want on your flight. The movie was better “Odd Couple II” .
At JFK, a million other people coming through passport control but enough lines going that it didn’t take too long. Customs just grabbed you declaration sheet and sent you through. If I had known I would have brought back more vodka for my friends. John and Bill had connections in about an hour, I had 4 hours. I started walking around to terminal 7 until the airport bus stopped right in front of me so I got on. Before I checked in with United I had to stop to go to the bathroom and it wasn't nearly as disgusting as I was expecting. All things considered, fairly nice. I checked in and went to the boarding area. I stopped at the gift shop. I was the only one around so I talked to the cashier. Three and a half hours to kill so I showed her the pictures I had developed in Kyiv. She didn’t have anything better to do either. I looked around the terminal for about twenty minutes then returned and waiting for the rest of the time.
On the J41 coming back, there were only about 8 people. I was asked to move to the back of the plane with a few others to spread the load.
A few months after my trip, I got a notice from United Airlines denying my frequent flyer miles because, according to them, I never flew to New York. Odd considering I sent them a copy of my boarding pass and offered to send copies of my luggage cliam tickets for JFK. To date they have not responded to my further inquiries. Kind of make you wonder how safe you are on their flights if they don’t know who is on them!
After five months United finally gave me my mileage.
If you would like to ask me anything else about my trip, click here.