D: Jim Henley. Suzanne DeLaurentis, Linda Singer, Jeremy Ratchford, Michael McKeever. Prism Entertainment. 1984. Unrated.

Hi again, folks. Sorry it's taken me so long to get this new review up, and that it's not the movie I promised it would be, but I've been hard at work trying to earn some cash, and and it doesn't seem like anybody's really missed the review anyway. Besides, did anyone really want to hear about Leprechaun III? I didn't think so.

Junior is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It claims to be a cut above such films as Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Nightmare on Elm Street. It's not. Take it from me. Don't waste your money on this film. It's just not worth it.

The story: K.C. and Jo (Suzanne DeLaurentis and Linda Singer) are two women just released after spending 6 months in a minimum security women's prison. They decide to take off and find themselves a place in the country, find some cute guys and sell some sandwiches. They come to a small town where their first experience with the locals is being harassed by the sheriff. They decide this is the place for them to stay. I think we're beginning to see exqactly how brilliant K.C. and Jo really are.

The next hour of the movie is K.C. and Jo fixing up their house/marina, meeting their boyfriends, Bud and Luke, being harassed even more by the locals, and wearing skimpy clothes. Sometimes they skip the clothes part.

Finally the title character, Junior, decides he's had enough of being shown up by the two women. The final scene is slow and pointless, leavinbg us with a small bodycount, none of whom are people we will really miss. The movie is horrible, and I wouldn't recommend it to my worst enemy.

The Vital Statistics.

Body Count: 7. Scruffy the dog (disembowelled by Junior. He's also the only character I felt acted well in this film), Salli (drowned by Junior), Bud (ditto), Luke (shot by the Sheriff), the Sheriff (shot by Junior's momma), Junior's momma (burned to death by the fire she started when she lit a candle in a room covered in gasoline), and Junior himself (burned and drowned).

Survivors who actually saw the monster: Anybody who knew Junior other than those in the above list plus Jo and K.C.

Classic Quote: Jo: (after hitting K.C.'s ex boyfriend with a shotgun): Gee. It's a good thing he left this under the dashboard!. Overall rating: 0 blood purity. Not even as scary as a monkey in a little pink tutu.

Well, that's Junior. Until next week, this is Dannis Ken saying, "All in all, I rather have watched the monkey."