El Nino Hurt The War Effort!!!!

    In Shoking news today, 
 Darth Vader announced that
 El Nino, the now infamous 
 weather phenomenom, hindered 
 the Imperial War effort.
 In a startling release of 
 recently declassified records, 
 El Nino was found to have been 
 an Imperial super weapon gone 
 mad.
    A hush fell over the crowd 
 as Darth Vader took the podium 
 to speak. "We originally designed 
 El Nino as a weapon against the 
 Rebel Alliance when they were found 
 to be on Hoth. It was intended to 
 melt the planet through it's global 
 and oceaninc warming cycles, but it 
 became sentient."
    Vader went on to discuss how the 
 Empire's efforts to quell the now 
 insane and vindictive creature with 
 a universal greeting and offer of 
 solace failed like a hooker in a gay
 bar.
    "Bah weep gra na weep ninny bahn," 
 repeated Vader, "But it failed. After 
 we greeted it, it wanted us to feed it, 
 and no matter how hard we tried, it's 
 appetite was insatiable. It kept going 
 on and on about Sally Struthers, and 
 someone named Starvin Marvin, and 
 demanded more appetizers. As it ran 
 out of negotiations, we heard it 
 screaimng "BEEFCAKE, BEEFCAKE," over 
 and over again. We never could figure 
 out what it meant."
    Later the exact military ramifications 
 were discovered when Vader admitted to 
 have tried to hunt it down and kill it, 
 after it was discoverd that it was using 
 newly discovered Force abilities to take 
 over Imperial planets and make the weather 
 too hectic and chaotic to live in, and 
 thusly driving out the Imperial element. 
 He went on to further state that the 
 people of the Imperial worlds became 
 frightened, not knowing what was causing 
 these strange occurrences, and began to 
 join the Allaince in an effort to avoid 
 it, fearing Imperial Military testing 
 on their planets as the cause.
    "We never knew what hit us when it 
 destroyed the first Death Star, causing 
 the life support systems to over load and 
 increase the internal temperatures to 
 such a great degree that the station exploded. 
 all the Rebel's did was blow up one of the 
 eateries in the officers sections, Quark's. 
 After that, El Nino was king, and he went so 
 far as to influence my decision to off the 
 Emporer, because he was stupid, like Hitler."
    Shortly after, many began speculating 
 as to whether or not El Nino was behind 
 some of the strange occurences in South Park, 
 Colorado, where late at night you can hear 
 the word "beefcake" repeated over and over.
 

    President Clinto today decided to 
 come clean about the alegations of an
 intimate encounter with one of his
 interns. In a startling address, he
 directly stated that "El Nino", who 
 was further inplicated today during
 an Imperial press conference, as the
 leading factor in his decision to
 not only do the nasty with his intern,
 but to actually approach Hillary
 at a Tri Lam/Tri Delt frat party in
 college.
    "Both times I was under the influence 
 of El Nino. But during the first episode,
 we did not yet know how dangerous El Nino 
 was, so I had no probelm inhaling. The 
 second offense though, was just a contact
 high."
    A shocked media today looked into the
 psychotropic effects of El Nino first hand,
 as a large amount of him was brought in to
 the room, was left for people to inhale,
 and then, Chelsea was brought in. One man 
 awoke a few hours later next to Sock's the 
 cat, while Maria Shriver awoke to Chelsea's 
 smiling face. All, save Chelsea, were scarred
 for life.
 

El Nino Ate My Balls!

 If you wish to see El Nino eat
 Some balls, continue on.
 If not, 
 
 
 LEAVE NOW!!!!!!
 

 This site is still under heavy 
 construction Please excuse any 
 typos, as they will
 be worked out ASAP.
 
 Thank you
 
 Captain Cumbubble.