TO LOOSE WEIGHT...
----------------
  The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day
  for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days,
  Sardarji
  called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a
  problem.
  "What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
  "I'm 2400 kms from home."
  
        * * * * * *

  EMPLOYMENT?
------------
  Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly
  filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the
  column
   Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
  After much thought he wrote : Yes
        * * * * * *

  AT INDO-PAK WAR
------------------
  Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely
  and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara
  hideout  was  crucial  to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the 
  defence  secrets.
  The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had
  thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes
  jumps  Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani! (mosquito net) He Pulls out his
  AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run off quickly. The next
  day   Hari Singh gets a medal.  His freinds ask him "Yaar thu maachar daani
  kyon   pehenke gaya tha?"
  Hari Singh replies "Maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar
  nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi?
  In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh
  (No Assumptions Please!) joins the army. Pakistanis are again
  surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think
  they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearning
  nothing he tries do shoo away the pakistanis like his father
  did but instead gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him
  "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin
  ke   gaya tha, aur tu nunga chale gaya"
  Gani Singh replies "aare yaar main tho odomos lage ke gaya tha"!
  
        * * * * * *
  HEIGHTS OF REVENGE
  Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and  we
  had  to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every
  time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a
  sound "guooonn, guooonn."
  He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the
  problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the
  mosquito  in  his hand.  He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted
  to  take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says
  "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito
  falling  in to deep sleep in his hands.
  So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
        * * * * * *

  
  
  CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
 -------------------------
  sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.
  He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.  But as soon
  as  the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which
  was  actually for an old lady.  After some time the old lady came and
  requested  the sardarji to leave the side seat.
  But the sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall
  not  leave".
  The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came
  and   requested the sardarji to leave that seat.  But sardarji was adament 
  and did not leave. Then the air  hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and
  requested,  but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something
  in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left
  the  side  seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the
  airhostess  and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to the sardarji.
  Capt. replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will
  go  to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."
  
        * * * * * *
  
 CROCODILE BOOTS
 ----------------
  Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of
  crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears.
  Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting
  crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the
  reptile, checks its
  legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"
  
        * * * * * *
  TRAIN TO LUDHIANA
  -------------------
  Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
  Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to
  Ludhiana?"
  "No," answers the Railway man.
  "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
        * * * * * *