21/12/99
start of week.
I sat there cold and lonely in my room it was 1 am, i felt
as if i was waiting to die. on the end of my bed with both feet flat to
the floor and my eyes closed , or maybe it was just so dark i could only
see black , i didn't know. I could how ever tell that the window was open
, i could feel a strong cold breeze . i reached over to close the window
only to find it shut tight, and yet i was cold , i sat there frozen my own
loneliness floating around me cold and blue. my room is small , it was only
3x5 meters, and with its dull faded blue paint job it felt like a cell.
although tonight it felt more like
coffin. my brain was getting more uncontrollable . i sat there for what
seemed like a few minutes dwelling on the devastating depression that is
my life, slowly the room was filled with drab sunlight . tho the air would
stay stale and cold. and i still felt like i was frozen in a giant ice block.
i looked at the clock , it was 6am now, once again i had spent a sleepless
night frozen to the end of my bed. waiting to die, and trying not to cry.
I sat there cold and lonely in my room
it was 1 am, i felt as if i was waiting to die. on the end of my bed with
both feet flat to the floor and my eyes closed , or maybe it was just so
dark i could only see black , i didn't know. I could how ever tell that
the window was open , i could feel a strong cold breeze . i reached over
to close the window only to find it shut tight, and yet i was cold , i sat
there frozen my own loneliness floating around me cold and blue. my room
is small , it was only 3x5 meters, and with its dull faded blue paint job
it felt like a cell. although tonight it felt more like coffin. my brain was getting more uncontrollable . i
sat there for what seemed like a few minutes dwelling on the devastating
depression that is my life, slowly the room was filled with drab sunlight
. tho the air would stay stale and cold. and i still felt like i was frozen
in a giant ice block. i looked at the clock , it was 6am now, once again
i had spent a sleepless night frozen to the end of my bed. waiting to die,
and trying not to cry.
I sat there cold and lonely in my room
it was 1 am, i felt as if i was waiting to die. on the end of my bed with
both feet flat to the floor and my eyes closed , or maybe it was just so
dark i could only see black , i didn't know. I could how ever tell that
the window was open , i could feel a strong cold breeze . i reached over
to close the window only to find it shut tight, and yet i was cold , i sat
there frozen my own loneliness floating around me cold and blue. my room
is small , it was only 3x5 meters, and with its dull faded blue paint job
it felt like a cell. although tonight it felt more like coffin. my brain was getting more uncontrollable . i
sat there for what seemed like a few minutes dwelling on the devastating
depression that is my life, slowly the room was filled with drab sunlight
. tho the air would stay stale and cold. and i still felt like i was frozen
in a giant ice block. i looked at the clock , it was 6am now, once again
i had spent a sleepless night frozen to the end of my bed. waiting to die,
and trying not to cry.
I sat there cold and lonely in my room
it was 1 am, i felt as if i was waiting to die. on the end of my bed with
both feet flat to the floor and my eyes closed , or maybe it was just so
dark i could only see black , i didn't know. I could how ever tell that
the window was open , i could feel a strong cold breeze . i reached over
to close the window only to find it shut tight, and yet i was cold , i sat
there frozen my own loneliness floating around me cold and blue. my room
is small , it was only 3x5 meters, and with its dull faded blue paint job
it felt like a cell. although tonight it felt more like coffin. my brain was getting more uncontrollable . i
sat there for what seemed like a few minutes dwelling on the devastating
depression that is my life, slowly the room was filled with drab sunlight
. tho the air would stay stale and cold. and i still felt like i was frozen
in a giant ice block. i looked at the clock , it was 6am now, once again
i had spent a sleepless night frozen to the end of my bed. waiting to die,
and trying not to cry.
I sat there cold and lonely in my room
it was 1 am, i felt as if i was waiting to die. on the end of my bed with
both feet flat to the floor and my eyes closed , or maybe it was just so
dark i could only see black , i didn't know. I could how ever tell that
the window was open , i could feel a strong cold breeze . i reached over
to close the window only to find it shut tight, and yet i was cold , i sat
there frozen my own loneliness floating around me cold and blue. my room
is small , it was only 3x5 meters, and with its dull faded blue paint job
it felt like a cell. although tonight it felt more like coffin. my brain was getting more uncontrollable . i
sat there for what seemed like a few minutes dwelling on the devastating
depression that is my life, slowly the room was filled with drab sunlight
. tho the air would stay stale and cold. and i still felt like i was frozen
in a giant ice block. i looked at the clock , it was 6am now, once again
i had spent a sleepless night frozen to the end of my bed. waiting to die,
and trying not to cry.
I sat there cold and lonely in my room
it was 1 am, i felt as if i was waiting to die. on the end of my bed with
both feet flat to the floor and my eyes closed , or maybe it was just so
dark i could only see black , i didn't know. I could how ever tell that
the window was open , i could feel a strong cold breeze . i reached over
to close the window only to find it shut tight, and yet i was cold , i sat
there frozen my own loneliness floating around me cold and blue. my room
is small , it was only 3x5 meters, and with its dull faded blue paint job
it felt like a cell. although tonight it felt more like coffin. my brain was getting more uncontrollable . i
sat there for what seemed like a few minutes dwelling on the devastating
depression that is my life, slowly the room was filled with drab sunlight
. tho the air would stay stale and cold. and i still felt like i was frozen
in a giant ice block. i looked at the clock , it was 6am now, once again
i had spent a sleepless night frozen to the end of my bed. waiting to die,
and trying not to cry.
I sat there cold and lonely in my room it was 1 am, i felt as if i was waiting to die. on the end of my bed with both feet flat to the floor and my eyes closed , or maybe it was just so dark i could only see black , i didn't know. I could how ever tell that the window was open , i could feel a strong cold breeze . i reached over to close the window only to find it shut tight, and yet i was cold , i sat there frozen my own loneliness floating around me cold and blue. my room is small , it was only 3x5 meters, and with its dull faded blue paint job it felt like a cell. although tonight it felt more like coffin. my brain was getting more uncontrollable . i sat there for what seemed like a few minutes dwelling on the devastating depression that is my life, slowly the room was filled with drab sunlight . tho the air would stay stale and cold. and i still felt like i was frozen in a giant ice block. i looked at the clock , it was 6am now, once again i had spent a sleepless night frozen to the end of my bed. waiting to die, and trying not to cry.
end of week.
GOD PLEASE MURDER ME
or at least
PLEASE SAY ITS OK FOR ME TO DIE