The bar at Tit Hall is small. Well, so is everything here, but basically, they allowed enough room for the bar itself - literally, but forgot to allow for room for people to get pissed. As such, everyone ends up spilling into the corridors, upstairs, into the JCR and outside. Service is swift here, except when the entire population of Tit Hall decides to buy a drink at the same time. On such occasions, people usually buy several pints for themselves at once, to make the trip worthwhile. Being small has the advantage that there is no room for a pool table, although there is a darts board, which would be very dangerous to play when there were a few people in there. Oh yes, they are also clinging onto the last known stocks of Rapido in the universe (superdrink that tastes like refreshers, and has the added bonus of getting you pissed *very* quickly - or should that be the other way round?)
Anyway, we got bored of our little haven very quickly, and have taken the time to check out a great many of the other college bars, and these are some of our findings...
(btw, if anyone reading here is applying to Cambridge, and isn't sure of which college to apply for, this guide will prove invaluable. But then again, I recommend you come to Tit Hall, anyway. As long us you don't go to the 'other place'.)
Kings bar is cool. I don't know why, but we have spent more time in here than in our own by far. It's big (Tit Hall bar would fit in here about fifty times, at least), and the red walls really confuse you when you're pissed. Lots of interesting people here to meet, and really cool seating arrangements (like lots of little alcoves). When you're entering Kings, make sure you go straight to the bar, and don't hang about, or else the porters will kick you out when they realise you are from another college.
Robinson, another favourite of ours. Robinson looks like a sports centre, and indeed, the bar looks like that from a sports centre. We were convinced that there was a swimming pool next door, but it turned out to be the formal hall. But even so, I swear one of these days I will turn up carrying towel and swimming trunks, and ask the barman where the changing rooms are.
Newnham is one of the all-girl colleges, but you wouldn't have guessed it from the bar. Actually getting into the college is near impossible; not because of really strict porters not letting males in (that isn't the case), rather, finding the entrance itself is quite a task.
New Hall, the other girly college, and this one is not like Newnham. Keypad locks on all the doors, and the porters will turf out any males on sight after about 10pm. The one time we actually made it to the bar, it was completely shut, and empty. And this was Saturday evening...
Fitz. Don't remember much of this place, due to the altered state of conscious I was experiencing at the time, but it seemed pretty lively in the main bar. There's also a nice 'chill out' room, you can even attempt to look sober by pretending to read the newspapers scattered there. One thing to watch out for, though, is the 'killer door'. It lets you in nicely, but when you try to leave, it swings back viciously. That, and the step you also have to negotiate is too much to cope with, and you'll be knocked to the ground, believe me.
Clare bar is tucked away underground, the bops here must be excellent. It's also pretty good to be watching outside when a bop is on; being below ground level, you only see the tops of these windows poking about the ground, and you just see these lights flashing from below the surface. Also the only place to have a free pool table, although I consider this a downer, in that it encourages pool playing as opposed to drinking. Why can't they charge two quid for the pool table, and give out free drinks...
Emma is a nice bar, very big, two levels, and nicely semi-circular in shape. The barmen try to scare you by saying you can only drink here if you are signed in by a member of the college, but then they say 'Sod It', and you can buy a pint anyway.
Trinity. Oh dear. The number of official looking 'Only Trinity students will be served here' splattered everywhere is scary. Having such a huge number of students here is a problem too, as there isn't enough beer to go round. Indeed, when we were there, they had run out completely - but never fear, they had plenty of cans in stock...
Christ's. We entered the bar, and said 'Christ's! This bar is even smaller than Tit Hall's', and then left.
Caius. We haven't 'properly' checked out the bar, we just gatecrashed their 70's night during Freshers' Week. Unfortunately, we gatecrashed right at the end, and only caught the song 'Dancing Queen' - a song that I never liked before, but I am now addicted to, I might add.
John's bar we haven't yet been to, due to the maximum security in force to prevent outsiders like me getting inside. Your only hope is to know someone who is at the college, who can then try to smuggle you in via a secret entrance. According to sources, there is a particular type of very-nice beer there, which is only for sale at one other place in the world.
Name Beer Music Novelty Environment Toilets People Bonus Tot
Price/Range Type/Volume Animals Smoke/Light (%)
TitHall 8/8[*1] 8/1 0 3/2 4 7 8 49
Kings 4/4 6/2 0 2/6 4 9[*2] 3 40
Robin. 8/8 8/5 0 0/0[*3] 5 8 7 49
Newnham 6/7 8/6 0 1/2 4 7 7 48
NewHall 0/0 0/0 0 0/10[*4] 0 0 -10[*5] 0
Fitz 5/7 8/8 0 6/6 6 7 9 62
Clare 4/2 7/7 0 6/6 5 5 2 44
Emma 5/6 7/8 0 5/6 4 4 8 53
Trinity 5/2 4/4 2[*6] 1/1 3 3 2 27
Christ 2/2 2/2 0 4/6 4 4 2 28
Caius 3/3[*7] 3/3 0 3/3 3 3 6 30
Johns ?/? ?/? 5[*8] ?/? ? ? ? ?
Notes
Mark