"Has it been an hour yet Tay?" I asked with no emotion whatsoever. He never answered me. The rest of the time I spent with them, I spent it with my head down, I didn't look up once, unless you count sneezing, but thats all. Nobody seemed to notice, except Lara, cause I didn't do much talking either. At least she noticed, someone noticed. We started walking to Sears because I heard my mom's voice from far ahead. I decided to lift my head, so my mom wouldn't think there was anything wrong. "Hi Mrs. Hanson, I'm Jennifer, and this is my sister Lara." Jennifer said politely to my mother. She didn't look impressed. Well she looked impressed, but I could tell by her eyes, that she was just another crush of the guys. "Nice to meet you Jennifer, you too Lara." My mom said shaking the blonde's head. Well maybe I shouldn't be talking about blond's. The whole family but dad was blond. Mom already knew the rest of the group. And those friends of Taylor weren't very fond of me, oh well, no big loss! "Hey mom, I was wondering if Jennifer and Lara could eat dinner over tonight or something? Everybody else has to go home." Tay said sweetly to mom. "Well, I guess they could come over, you guys can order pizza, Dad and I are going out, Mackenzie is going to stay with Aunt Mary and Jess and Avery are spending the night at friends houses, and if Isaac isn't doing anything tonight you guys can surely stay for dinner." Mom said looking at Jennifer and Lara. "Are you sure Mrs. Hanson?" Jennifer said unsure of herself. I was wondering if she was an actual airhead, or just was like this in front of people. I would have to ask Lara later on. "Yeah, it's fine." Mom said looking for me in the group of friends Tay had. "Julie, are you ready?" Mom asked me as I swirved around Dan. Lara followed me. "Why don't you guys make it a project of helping me find Julianna some nice clothes, she needs some." Mom said walking the other way into Sears again. Oh no, not Sears, i preffered Gadzooks, or something like that. "That's a great idea!" Jennifer said all bubbly. Mom gave her a small strange look, that only I could detect, and it almost made me smile, almost. They all looked pretty happy at being able to play dress up with me. Except the guys, they all kinda looked well like they would throw up. "Good lets go." Mom said as we started our search for clothes.They had literally drowned me in clothes. And they were all "bunny clothes" as I shall call them. All these pastel girly clothes. I preferred Tay's clothes, well at least i used to until... "This will look adorable." She said holding up a light pastel pink short sleeve shirt with daisy embroidered around it. "Mom help." I said helpless. Lara was standing behind her sister making all these funny faces at her, and it was making me laugh, and then when Jenn put that hideous shirt up to me, it made me laugh harder. Mom knew what I liked. "Um Jennifer, maybe you can pick out things a little less....um..." My mom said trying to put it into the right words. "Less, bunnyish." I said looking down at those annoying daisy's. Nobody in there right mind would ever wear something like that. The guys had dissapeared somewhere, not that I cared, nope, I didn't care at all. "Oh, ok I get it." Jennifer said beginning to turn around. "Jenn, maybe your sister can help you pick some stuff out while I try these on. She knows what Im talking about, right Lara." I said taking a hopeful glance at my new friend. "Yup, sure do." Lara said pulling her sister along. I was greatful to have Lara here, cause if she wasn't I would sure have gagged. "She's a ditz" Mom whispered quietly as she handed me a pile full of decent clothes. "Hehe, you're telling me? You didn't have to spend an hour with her, and the "Duh Squad"." I said. I made that name for those guys. Ugh they really have no idea what is going on at all. "I heel very sorry for you." Mom saidlaughing. "Julianna, swear to me, that you will try on one dress, just one pretty one. please." Mom begged. I would try it on for her sake, but I never said I'd buy it. "All right but don't let ditzo pick it out please." I said shuttering from the thought. Ew, scary thought! "Don't worry, now try the rest on." She said dissapearing into the Junior's Department. I was barely a Junior. But I insisted on wearng things from that department. I used to borrow some of Zac's clothes but... "That one is nice." Tay said as I looked at myself in the mirror. I gave him an evil look, and turned away. I wouldn't let him see jow hurt I was. Thats all i ever did was turn away from all of them. "Julie, we really need to talk." He said gently. A gently word? From Taylor? Couldn't be? Unless the old Tay was back....."There's nothing to talk about Tay, now get out before you get in trouble." I said looking down at the pair of baggy khaki pants mom had selected. "There's a lot to talk about, don't push me away." He said gently again. No, i wouldn't give in to his gentleness, i couldn't. I didn't understand his friends were still out there, was this some kind of sick joke? "Just go away." I said so lowly i though it wasn't audible. "Fine, be that way then" Tay said turning away. I looked at the pants, they reminded me so much of Tay's. "Wait Tay." I said lowly looking after my brother. I wanted to talk to him so bad, but not after they all hurt me so much.

Part 4

"Those are you." Mom said examining the khaki pants that had just been an excuse not to talk to my brother. "Yeah, i know I like them." I said. I needed to get out of here. I knew i couldn't not until we finished the clothes, and that would take at least an hour. "Good, put them in the buy pile." Mom said pointing to the pile on the stool in dressing room. I did what i was told, and tried on the dress she had sought out through the store. More daisy's. What is up with the freaking daisy's. But at least it wasn't too bad. It had a jean top, and connected ot it was a blue skirt with small daisy's all over it. "Oh Julie, it looks gorgeous." Mom gushed as she spun around to look at it. I hate when mom's do that. They always have to check everything, even the crotch. "It's not too bad." I said looking at it."Hey, i can maybe pass for pretty in it." I said out loud. That wasn't meant to come out. "What? Julianna you're very pretty, everybody says so." Mom said taking me by the shoulders. "Oh, yeah I know." I said. I lied. I was nothing compared ot my brothers. "We found some things." Lara said coming in with some funky looking clothes. Jennifer was tagging behind her. I wondered why she wasn't with the guys, isn't that what she wanted. "Oh wow, that looks great, I love the daisy's!" Jennifer said looking at my reflextion in the mirror. Daisy's. Daisy's need to die. i can just see myself meeting someone named Daisy one day and killing them, right there. "Oh, yeah I love the daisy's." I said sarcastically. "OK, i think we have had enough shopping today. We got you a few shirts and some shorts and pants, and that dress, now we can leave." Mom said trying to fit all of the clothes into her hands. Normally I would have helped her, but it wasn't the same anymore. I walked right out of Sears and out the entrance, and I got so many stares I thought I would get mobbed. At least Lara tagged behind me the whole way. "Your mom is going to be mad, right?" Lara said to me. It was more of a comment then a question. "Yup, probably." I said. I didn't care anymore. Not one bit. They didn't com eout for awhile. But when they did, they came fast, well until they saw us. Taylor, Dan, Jennifer, and Mom came ttrotting up to us, with dirty looks on their faces. Mom's was a look of relief, but Tay had an angry look, and I didn't really care about Jenn or Dan. "Why did you leave so fast?" Tay growled at me. He was pissed. He wouldn't normally be pissed....."Are you ok? Nothing happened right?" Mom said with about 4 bags of clothes in her hand. "No, nothing happened, I just got a little hot." I said. Excuses, excuses.

"Yeah, it was hot in that store." Lara said trying to save my butt. "All right, help me put the packages in the car Taylor." Mom said handing him a few bags before she dropped them. He gave me an evil look. He didn't know how much those looks hurt. He didn't know how much everything hurt, he just didn't know. "Why don't you come to our house at about seven?" Tay asked in his old voice. That old voice. It never came back to him. It wasn't fair. How come he could use it towards her, and not his family? "Sure, I just need your address." Jennifer said all bubbly. Tay took the piece of paper out of Jennifers hand and started writing our address. Mom didn't like ot give out our address much. People seem to obsess over my brothers. They camp out on the sidewalk. "All right come on Lara." Jenn said motioning for her sister to come. "I'll see you tonight." She said following her sister to a car. "What? She can drive?" Mom asked in disbelief. "Well, kinda, she's 15 and has her permit." Taylor said as we all hopped into the car. I wish Lara sisn't have to leave. I mean, she didn't know anything, but I still thinks she kinda understands. "I don't know about this Taylor." Mom said sternly. "Mom, come on, I turn 15 next month, yippy! Remember dad is teaching me to drive." Tay said emphasizing some words. "Yes, i do remember, calm down. Have you started to drive yet Dan?" Mom asked backing out of the parking space. "Um, yeah, I'm taking drivers ed at school." Dan said. School, never tried that one out. Stupid homeschool, Zac and I had to do stupid math, and stupid literature, and stupid everything. But most of the time Zac wasn't even there, and when he was.... "They shouldn't let kids drive at such a young age. It's such a shame." Mom said shaking her head. "I can't wait until I can drive, I'll be out of here before anybody even knew about it. "Next year dad's gonna teach me right?" I asked eagerly. The sooner the better. "I'm not sure about next year, but he'll probably start soon." She said smiling in my direction. "You know she'll crash the van, I wouldn't let her." Tay snorted from the back seat. That hurt. "That wasn't very nice Taylor, should we not let your little girlfriends come over?" Mom asked raising her eyebrows to the rearview mirror. "No, but it's true." He said lowly. Why did he have to change? My Tay had to change so much. I looked out the window the rest of the time, not saying a word to anyone. And when we dropped off Dan, I didn't even look his way. "Why is everyone so quiet? Are you feeling all right Julianna?" Mom asked me as we backed away from a waving Dan. What a suck up. "Yeah, I'm feeling fine, just tired I guess." I said. Another lie, I wasn't feeling fine. I never felt fine anymore. "Oh ok, how about you Taylor, have a good time at the mall?" Mom asked. "Yeah, a great time, Julie refused to wear her glasses, and was a pain in the butt, but everything was dandy." Tay said. He never used to tell on me, and he used to enjoy when I was around. "I was not a pain in the butt." I said turning around in the seat. I could tell that he could sense I was about to cry. He was the one who used to be able to sense everything about me, but I wasn't sure anymore. "Aw, little Julianna is going to cry boo hoo." Taylor said from behind me. "I'm not going to cry!" I yelled. I had enough of his crap. Og everybody's crap. We had stopped at a red light, I hopped out of the car, and started running across the street. The color would never leave my mind, that greenish color coming directly towards me, as it hit me, and I fell into a pit of darkness.

back