During my childhood, my mother used to discipline me using a wooden spoon and belt to strike me with, on the back. I began having muscle spasms in my back by age 12 or 13... much of my childhood is muddled...

I married for the first time in 1985. During the five years I was with this husband, I got from him two children, three broken noses, several broken ribs, a broken arm, a shattered cheekbone and eyesocket, several concussions, a couple deep-tissue back injuries, and a couple miscarriages. I did finally leave him, and moved on to husband number two.

I think it was in 1990... my second husband beat me up. That day was the end of our marriage... I had aborted his baby without his consent or knowledge because I knew he was violent and sick and I didn't want any ties to him when I left him. He beat me with a chair, then a baseball bat. He fractured my skull, broke my arm and leg, and I wound up in a coma, with temporal lobe epilepsy, muscle spasms in my back and hip, ankle and knee problems, memory problems, severe mood swings, depression, anxiety and panic disorders, ulcers, migraines, agoraphobia, and OCD. I became a single mom for awhile... he stalked me for the two years it took for me to remember how to live again.

In 1992 I was running a rescue/rehab for abused Pitbulls, and had 9 dogs, in addition to two kids, 2 cats and a new and loving husband. I was a busy lady, working hard in the community support division of my local Police Dept, with the mayor's office helping to bring support and education to crime-ridden neighborhoods, as well as my dog-business. I loved my life!

I was out on a February morning walking one of my dogs in the park near my house when I slipped on the ice and fell. I fell very hard on my tailbone and hip, and being very thin at the time, did lots of damage. I ended up in an ambulance, and later found out that I had broken my tailbone, ruptured three disks in my back (L 2, 3, 4), and fractured my hip. I spent a year in recovery and physical therapy, but I never healed "right".

Since then I was diagnosed with endometriosis - took 12 miscarriages to get that diagnosis! But following that diagnosis and the following lap. I had my youngest child Kathryn Hope, who we call Katy. I have had one miscarriage since then.

After I gave birth to her in 1996, I began to feel really anxious again, and was subsequently diagnosed with Grave's Disease. I refused to terminate my breastfeeding relationship with my baby, so I was put on Methimizole for a year to see if I would go into remission. No dice.. I went back on it after three months off, but it never helped. I finally had my thyroid removed in November of 1998.

My stomach problems also continued to escalate, and in July of 1998 I had my gallbladder removed.. what a relief! I still take bentyl, phenergan and pepcid regularly, but the sharp pain is finally gone.

I have had excersise and stress induced asthma all my life, but I was a smoker for many years, starting at age 17, and continuing through February of 1998 when I quit cold-turkey. My asthma is much better! LOL!! About two months ago... March 1999 I think... I reinjured my back in a really creative way (you have to ask!), and have since been in physical therapy and trying very hard to get well. No luck. My doc wants me to take herbal meds, and gives me a huge lecture and hard time each time I go in for pain pills. I am so frustrated and depressed living like this. It seems that I have always hurt somewhere or another, and frankly I am quite tired of it. I have been suicidal in the past many times, and am now edging that way again, despite a strong faith in God and a belief that He will heal me. I suppose that sounds totally contradictory, but I am just so very frustrated. I am so tired.. so tired! Add on to this that my husband is in the Army, and I spend alot of time as a single mom, and the medical care available to me is below sub-standard and extremely limited. I have changed doctors several times, and am very vocal and educated on my body and my options, but I still get pushed to the side and labed a "junkie" for wanting to be pain free.

     There it is. My story.

4-22-99

MEDICAL CONDITIONS: -Temporal lobe epilepsy -Asthma -Endometriosis (3 live children, 3 early abortions due to completely malformed fetuses, 8 miscarriages ranging from 10 to 22 weeks.) -Grave’s disease -TMJ -Reflux/GERD -Migraines -Anxiety/panic disorder/chronic depression/OCD -Insomnia -Dishydrotic eczema on hands (stress induced) -Seasonal allergies -Irritable bowel syndrome -Vertigo with dizziness and fainting -Recurrent, severe chronic muscle spasms and pain in the lower back and legs due to repeated injuries -EITHER 5 ruptured disks (lower cervical, upper lumbar) OR 1 ruptured disk and 3 more bulging. This is the result of two radiologists looking at the same x-ray. You figure it out. -Urinary retention -Chronic constipation -Fibromyalgia -Chronic fatigue syndrome -July 25Th after a pelvic x-ray the doctor mentioned that he spotted a mass in my pelvis, not a bony mass. I had the x-rays redone July 7, 1999 but have not yet heard back from my doctor.

SURGERIES: -Navel hernia repaired at 1978 -Tonsillectomy 1979 -Laparoscopy for endometriosis 1992 Gall bladder removed July 1998 -Thyroidectomy November 1998

History Relating to Back Pain/Injury

 Beginning at age 5 or 6 my mother began her preferred method of discipline, which was to hit me on the back and buttocks with a wooden spoon. Almost every time she hit me, the spoon broke, and she had to fetch a new one. Often she would use a leather belt. I remember having back pain as young as 6 years old.  Age 12 I was thrown from a horse, landing on my right buttock and hip. I was severely bruised, but received no medical attention. I was not able to walk for four days, and limped for a very long time after that. I have had recurrent pain and spasm in that hip since that time.  Age 17 I was involved in a car accident. I was the passenger; the vehicle was struck on the driver’s side. The driver flew across the bench seat, striking me, I struck the door, which opened due to the force of my hip and I few out and landed on my right hip and side approximately 4 feet away from the vehicle. I suffered a miscarriage due to that accident.  Between the ages of 17 and 23 I was physically abused by my first husband, receiving several concussions, being struck in the kidney and stomach area frequently. Several times I was knocked unconscious, given black eyes, or hit so hard in the kidneys that I urinated blood for days afterwards. I very rarely received any medical attention for any of these injuries.  At age 24 I was assaulted by my second husband with a chair and a baseball bat. He struck me in the head, back, leg and right upper body. At that time I was diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy. I spent a year in physical therapy after this incident.  Age 26 I fell on ice while walking a dog and landed on my right hip and buttock. Was in physical therapy for a full year after that due to severe spasm, pain and weakness in the right leg and pain on the right side.  Age 31 I reinjured my back during a private moment with my husband, and have found that any type of activity makes it worse, including walking, stretching, sitting or standing in any one position for longer than 20 minutes.  +++ I have had moderate to severe back spasms and hip and leg pain since I was 6 years old. There have been times when the pain has been manageable due to a combination of pain medications, physical therapy and self-hypnosis. At this time I rate my pain to be worse than any other time in my life. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being "I'm dying", my pain is now daily between an 8 and 9 constantly, and when I hit a nine, I go to the ER. They never help...  The past few weeks (today is June 29, 1999), the pain in my back has spread to both sides of my lower back, not just my right side, and down both legs, including my feet. My abdomen is also cramping and in severe pain. I have urinary retention regularly, sometimes only urinating once every two to three days. I cannot walk up the stairs in my house due to severe pain and weakness. I have not been able to eat for 8 days now, due to the severity of the pain. I am running at a steady 9 on the pain scale for almost two weeks now, and am finding it very hard to cope with.  July 7, 1999 I am taking Cipro now for a UTI that won’t go away…. I was on Septa for 20 days, and that didn’t work, so now the Cipro. My bladder is constantly cramping severely. I have been making myself eat at least once a day, but find that any food in my stomach causes severe stomach pain and cramping that can last for hours… the stomach pain makes my back pain worse, the back pain makes the stomach pain worse, etc etc. I fall almost daily now, and have bruises I don’t remember getting. My quality of life is so low as to be almost nil, and I am frustrated beyond belief. I have dreams, and have always been an active person. I want to get back in school and upgrade my EMT cert. For a Paramedic Cert., then go on to apprentice with a midwife and eventually become a direct entry midwife. I want my life back… I miss the laughter the most… it hurts to laugh. 

Addition to my story, date 11-7-99

In August of this year I decided that I needed a vacation and made plans to go visit my friends up in northern Texas. I did so, the third week in Aug. and stayed with them for a week. I was tired while I was there, but wasn't sick, and had no indications of being sick... no cough, no fever, etc. However, I do not remember the trip home. Apparantly I arrived home Aug 29th, and on the 30th I had a fairly rough asthma attack that was difficult to control. It was the first I had had in a long time.

Then, on the 31st, I guess I had another one that I could not control, and asked my husband to take me to the ER for a breathing treatment. This is all told to me, I don't remember it. Then, it was found that I had pneumonia in 40% of my lungs, and I was hospitalized for observation and abx. Within 24 hours I had pneumonia in 60% of my lungs and was developing ARDS (Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome), was intubated and heavily sedated. My cousin tells me that I called her from the ER and told her "I have pneumonia, they are admitting me and I am going to die." She went to work the next day, traded off her shifts and flew in. She says she sat by my bed that day and asked me if I was okay, and I looked at her and gasped out "I am not going to make it.... I am going to die". That night I was intubated and sedated. They put me into a coma for ten days, and I was on the ventilator for 13 days. My father flew in to visit me, and I was given a 20% chance of survival due to the rapid progression of the ARDS and the other complications I was having. No one else knew that I was bulemic...

On the 14th of September I was discharged to a rehab facility, where I was supposed to be for 4-6 weeks to regain some lung capacity. On the 16th I checked out AMA and took a cab home, unable to stand it anymore.

My recovery was a miracle... a true miracle. I was supposed to die, and I did not. I was healed. Now, at this writing on Nov 7, I am 9 weeks pregnant with my fourth baby! I am still not well, and continue to use albuteral and flovent daily, as well as nebulizer treatments at home, but I am going to live, and not only am I going to live, I am going to live WELL. My pain is at a tolerable level most of the time, which is wonderful, and my breathing is not as bad as it could be. I am very grateful for the prayers that saved me, and for the love of the friends and family I have!