ERIN'S STORY





Erin here... Here is a bit more about me...I wrote this for another group..and I can share this with you if you like... Suzi....I did read your post hon...thank you..I am keeping an eye on it...hon......his liver is clean...no hepatitis....so far.....he is up and jumping about again.....he gets fatigued still but so far so good...the aches and pain in the arms and legs....are slowly getting better with the fatigue.....the herbal meds are working.....the flower essences....serve a different...purpose...hon.....they are directed at mobilizing a different part of your....immune system..... I need to look at it a bit more closely..........but they are processed differently......hon.....so I shall heed your words..and remember them hon.... Now here is a part of what I wrote.....hope it fills in some of the gaps....

I believe in many different things in life....that cannot be seen...I believe that we have a responsibility to fulfill our potential and to always try to help others along their way....my experiences....I am a very spiritual person...I have had two NDE's.......and have much experience in the field of chronic pain...this is my 24th year.....as a pain patient...I have a host of diseases ..disorders and syndromes.....lolololol.....here is the short list:

My journey...into pain began in 1975..so here goes...

These conditions are bilateral..... TOS Carpal Tunnel Ulnar Nerve entrapment.. Torn rotator cuff w/AC impingement..... peripheral neuropathies in arms and legs.....

More..... Root lesions.... C2-C7, T1-2, L3-S1 are ruptured..some big some small...ruptures..... Cervical Radiculopathy Migraines. Spinal headaches.... Advanced chondramalacia of the patella's...bilateral....

I am totally flat lined..in my arms and legs..there is no conduction whatsoever....so I should not be able to move my arms or legs.....the doctors are incredulous...I am not.....but I am not going to tempt fate...

Now...I watched my mother have close to 35 surgeries....or 40.....and I saw so many fail...except for the few that were internally based.........like the hysterectomies and so forth.....From a child..I have watched my mother and others.....suffer the horrors of the surgery after surgery......her most successful ones were two knee replacement and a cervical fusion.......but she has DDD.....and severe osteo....and every disc in her spine is ruptured...she has a brain tumor...benign....we did not opt for surgery....as it was in the mid left cortex.....an area hard to get to....not impossible..but since it was calcified over...and not causal of her symptoms.....mom and I decided.....that she had had enough.....She has failed back surgeries..and a hip replacement that did not heal properly..it was set improperly....and healed off kilter...so she can no longer sit..as her hip will not let her....her option was....take the hip joint out..and let the leg hang....and it would be a full six inches shorter.....that is only a bit of her history...I invoked the chronic Pain guidelines here in Maryland...back in 93 or so...and I must say it worked like a charm.....but as you know....or maybe you don't......with my family and loved ones.....I will not cease in my efforts to get them help if they so let me...and give me permission to act in their behalf...the docs in all the ER's around here know me by sight....as I can read the ER machines...been there while they intubated...extubated...put in swan catheters.....and a central line..that is extremely painful..thank the Goddess she was out for two of them..when I found out they put in one without me being there...or without local anesthesia......I went quite quiet..a bad sign........I can understand they had to get one in fast..and it was three am..and I could not get there in time.......but to put her through that.....with novocaine.......roaarrrrr....

So I started my advocate work in Kindergarten...that is another story...between mom and a girl in Kindergarten..she has six fingers..and I shamed the children into playing ring around the rosy with her......the class bully supported me..imagine that......and we finally got it all straight.....later the dear child left..and had surgery to have the extra digit removed...but they moved her due to the cruel treatment she got from many classmates.....I remember what a brave soul she was....I saw my mom suffering..and I swore that I would study and study...and do all I could help....from childhood...I knew I would be different....I did not think of things other children did......sure I played..romped...but I read...and I pondered the meaning of life at an early age...and the nuns never had answers to my questions.......like...why were people nice in church on Sunday's..then sit on their stoop and curse at these neighbors they had just sworn to honor...???

So I watched...learned..suffered..watched people mock my mother......slander her..call her an addict...I swore that I would make at least a bit of a difference.........and so I have.....I have had the privilege of working with those from all over the world...educating etc........been on the Tele once..and should be again as soon as the pain documentary is cut and sold.......smile.....

So when my story began....I was steeped in Pain education....and medical information......I refused many of the surgeries..I still do.....and Doc and I are bargaining.....or negotiating...........or I am...of what surgeries I need to have done...or I am willing to do.......

I had a non union....that means my fusion did not take ...c5--c6......and I walked around with scar tissue holding my cervical spine together for 13 years...the nerve damage was rampant.......and permanent.....Also...the same occurred... in my lumbar spine....as no one had mri'd my lumbar spine til Doc F..the first good and compassionate physician who is no longer practicing or not to my knowledge......ordered the MRI...and the evidence was in...spondylosis...and all types of damage..nerve damage....the most prevalent.....pain wise.......one thing was that they told me I would never work...as I was emotionally ill...lololol..well I got a job with the ABC News Network.....in Washington and did an excellent job.....................

So I refused a lot of surgeries.....and for me that was the right decision.....I have had about ten I think......or eight..can't remember.....and I saw the same pattern...emerging.....I saw them blame my mom's psyche for the pain while they put her on pain meds..same old story.....so...I am blessed.......that I am walking..swimming......developing new techniques for people like me who are limited.....to do things.....I write...as most of you know...and I won't deluge with any of them.....ok...hugs......

I am sorry that I am going into such depth..but many do not understand that I live with my parents....that my husband abandoned me....I went for about 19 years....untreated for my chronic pain.....and my damage was ignored..and not dx'd til Doc H..in totality.....It pains me that I had to learn by her mistreatment........the surgeries that they had proposed would not have fixed my problem.s....smile......and I am opting for the ones that can contain some of the pain......and are the least invasive.............

Marcus my son has had mono..undx'd..and I believe I have had it also..due to the fatigue level...and the chronic flu's and viral infections..........my daughter now has a 102 temp.....so now I am wondering and worrying about her.......I never doubt that things will work out....I just get scared every once in a while if I have the strength to cope....but so far I seem to have been....holding up to the stresses of this winter...on top of my illnesses.......which is a whole another post....suffice it to day...my kidneys bled for a long time.....I had a temp of 106 and a half.....with one of the other viral flu's....I think I lost my cookies one day about thirty times..boy was I sore......I had a triple systemic illness...fungal..bacterial..viral....and it took ages to go away....months...so now I feel as if I am getting some of my strength back......... that's it for now.....I need to go get some work done...hugs to all and nice meeting you all.... Goddess Blessings.... Erin (C)