It's taken me a little while to get back to you after this caudal i had on monday, but here i am. Can finally sit a little bit, but i sure am sore. there are absolutely NO WORDS to describe the experience i had getting this caudal/epidural. i have never been through anything like this in my entire life........and have never felt so VIOLATED !!!!! it was absolute torture !!!! they stuck me over and over and over, non-stop for 2 friggin hours !!! they just couldn't find the spot at all, so they just kept sticking and sticking and sticking. no breaks....no pain meds or anesthetics of any kind. and you know that i had not even taken my home meds for 12 hours before i went in. i can take any kind of horrible pain for a while, but not for 2 hours. afterwards he told me that he's never had so much trouble, but that i had something different, unusual with my anatomy, and they just couldn't find the right spot. i know there was a brand new intern trying to do it(it is just august, you know), even though when i asked who was doing the procedure, they said it was my doctor. but i knew that wasn't true, because i could hear him telling her what to do. well, probably my "anatomy" ie tailbone is a little different now, because i fell on it so hard that it's sort of pushed up, bulging out, with the tip sort of bent in, because i've seen x-rays of it. but, anyway, after a long while, i REALLY started to lose it, but quietly, screaming inside myself. but my whole body was shaking, i was hyperventilating, was sobbing, and was very close to passing out. (i wish that i had) but everyone was just ignoring me. finally at one point someone asked if i was ok, and i shook my head no. i couldn't even speak. but, they still just ignored me and just kept sticking away. i was just a piece of meat on the table. i have NEVER in my life experienced pain like that, and i have had babies with no pain medication. in fact, my last baby was a homebirth, with a long and difficult labor, and i coped just fine. this didn't even compare with childbirth. i feel so incredibly traumatized, that i can't even put it into words. before he started, he told me he usually does a series of threeof these injections. that's the other thing, i didn't even realize until then that he was going to use steroids. he never said that when he told me about it at the previous office visit. he just said it was a "nerve block" but, there is no way i would/could ever go through that again !!!!!! i can't even really tell if it's even working, because i am now in so much pain from the procedure itself...........different pain than i had before. i could literally hear and feel the needle crunching into the bone.....over and over. since they couldn't find the spot, they kept shooting in more and more and more dye. ouch. when they FINALLY found the spot and injected the meds. i could feel it going up my spine and bursting into my head, and i felt like my head was going to explode, and then i had the worst headache i have ever had in my life.still have it. i feel alot worse now than before i went in for this, so i hope they didn't really do damage.

FINALLY, when i was in the recovery room, they gave me some morphine in my IV. why the heck didn't they give me something like that during the procedure, when they realized how difficult it was and long it was taking ? I don't understand. as they wheeled me into the recovery room i could hear them saying how traumatic and difficult it was to the nurses in there.

NEVER AGAIN !! has anyone ever had an experience like this ? is it really common and usual to give no meds during this ? i couldn't even speak during it, or i would have asked for something. but it was so painful, that i was too far gone within myself. know what i mean ? oh, boy !!! i'm getting so upset even writing about it that my whole body is all tensed up and my hands are beginning to shake. i finally looked at my butt today. there is a huge bruise, and i can see at least 10 sites where they stuck me. well....enough.and my behind is screaming bloody murder, anyway. but.......has anyone else gone through something like this ? feels like a nightmare. fortunately,i brought a good friend along with me, a nurse friend. and she knew just what to do for me.she came into the recovery room afterwards, and rubbed my back, stroked my head, held my hand, and took me into the woods with a guided visualization. what a blessing that was.

I'm trying to let it go, but still feels like i need to process it somehow. i had a good bio-feedback session and reiki session today. that was helpful.maybe getting it out here to you loving folks will help, too. and i'm sure, knowing the way the medical profession is, that probably just about everyone here has had a experience somewhat similar to this one.

Thank you so much for listening to this barrage. means alot to me to be able to express this to people that i know will understand. love,

Nancy

OCT 03,1999