WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?

L.A. Police Department:
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens.  I have never known any chickens.

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.  Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Aristotle:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx:
It was an historical inevitability.

Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ronald Reagan:
What chicken?

Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Freud:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken Coop 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.

Einstein:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.

Andersen Consulting:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant  market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to  create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.   Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementing processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM),  Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, process and chnology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of the road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep kills in the transportation industry to engage in a two itinerary of  meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to  achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of  poultry cross-median processes.  The meeting was held in a park-like  setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, vision, and  core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.   Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to be more successful.

The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken. "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

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