The question asked most often of women who are in an abusive relationship is “Why do you stay?”
There are a number of reasons why women stay:
- economic hardship
- isolated from friends or support system; has no way to check reality of what abuser is saying
- difficulty finding work that pays enough to be self-sufficient and/or difficulty with Child care
- abuser has threatened to take the children/custody issues
- victim fears abuser will kill her, children, himself, family, etc. if she leaves
- belief that the abuser will reform or change
- shame - does not want anyone to know what is going on
- there may be more good times than bad; particularly in the beginning
- belief that she is the cause and therefore can make the abuse stop is she does or says the right things
- the children need their father’s presence and/or economic support
- doubts she can make it on her own
- slow and or ineffective legal response which can not or will not protect her
- belief that divorce or leaving the relationship is wrong; this is often directly reinforced by clergy, family, friends, and society
(Source: Largo Police Dept., Largo FL)