DURING AN EXPLOSIVE INCIDENT
Argue only in a safe place:
If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit, and not in the bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.
Practice your exit: Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell would be best.
Prepare a bag: Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
Alert a neighbor: Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that he/she call law enforcement if he/she hears a disturbance coming from your home.
Share a code word: Devise a code word or signal to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need law enforcement.
Plan your lodging: Decide and plan where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don’t think you will need to).
Call a crisis line if you need help.
Trust your instincts: Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
PREPARING TO LEAVE
Set up your own account: Open a savings account in your own name to start to establish or increase your independence (have statements mailed to a trusted friend). Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.
Store some necessities: Leave money, and extra set of keys, copies of important documents (including photos of injuries, medical bills, and other evidence) and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
Seek friends’ help: Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
Be ready to call: Keep the shelter phone number close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency phone calls.
Memorize your plan: Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer.
Checklist: Things you need to take when you leave:
- Identification
- Driver’s license
- Birth certificates (yours and your children’s)
- Money
- Rental agreement, lease, house deed
- Car title
- Bank books
- Checkbooks
- Insurance papers
- House and car keys
- Medications
- Address book
- Pictures (including photos of any injuries)
- Medical records for all family members
- Social Security card
- Welfare identification
- School records
- Work permits
- Green card
- Passport
- Divorce papers
- Jewelry
- Children’s small toys
- Small saleable objects
- Other: _____________________________________
(Source: Family and Children’s Services, Greensboro NC)