I beg for the days long gone
When life was simple and so was I
Always felt I was only a mistake
Would it be a favor if I were to die?
Trying my best to make you proud
Trying hard not to get lost in the crowd
Would you smile if I were better?
Perhaps just a parting letter

Dear father,
I’m sorry for the times my heart led me wrong
I’m sorry that my grades were never flawless
I’m sorry about the times I stayed out too late
I’m sorry my pain caused you such distress
Perhaps I should have just let you scream
Maybe I could have followed your dream
Now I’m just unwanted
Unwanted by you

I couldn’t be perfect like I should
Falling flat under merciless scrutiny
Of things I tried and failed to be
Why couldn’t I just be me?
Never good enough for you
Never measuring up to you
Would it matter if I were better?
Perhaps just a goodbye letter

Dear lover,
I’m sorry I couldn’t do everything right
I’m sorry I was always to blame
I’m sorry for letting you see me cry
I’m sorry that what we had was such a shame
I guess I should have just let you be
Since you “wasted” yourself on me
It’s normal that I’m unwanted
Unwanted by you

Staring at the ceiling again in silence
Listening to myself breathe
Making friends with loneliness
Can’t find in life what I need
Someone to trust in
Someone to believe in
What could I say to make it better?
Perhaps just a farewell letter

Dear friend,
I’m sorry I didn’t live up to your expectations
I’m sorry I never earned your trust
I’m sorry I caused such low opinions
I’m sorry I fill you with such disgust
Because there was no loyalty
When I was stung by reality
Once again I’m unwanted
Unwanted by you

I’m sorry I was born into my limitations
Would you want me if I were better?

© 1999 by Ricky G.