The curry guzzling David lister was found in a cardboard
box under a grav pool table in a Liverpool bar in 2155. As he grew up he
went from using his adoptive fathers death as a way to get grieving
family members to add to his lego collection, to lead singer in the band
"Smeg and the Heads" and writter of the classic song "om". Eventually after
bouncing from job to job, loosing his virginity at age twelve on a golf
course (and not paying green fees), to being trapped in a cardboard box
by a Mega-Mart cashiers husband (giving him terrible fear of confined spaces)
he ended up signing on to the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel Red
Dwarf as third technician, the lowest rank on ship.
Fate is a lazy ass sometimes and just points its finger at somone and sais
"hey you're important". This was the case for Dave. When he broke up with
a long time heart throb he went to titan and bought a cat. The cat being
unquarentined was not allowed to be on board and when Holly discovered
it captain hollister had said dave could either give up the cat or go in
stasis. He went into stasis. Three million years later dave came out of
stasis as the last man alive.
Name: Arnold Judas (not Jonathan he claimed) Rimmer
The incompetent vending machine repair man with a Napoleon complex was
always failure, to his parents most of all. He was such an looser that
they barely acknowledged him; his mother only ever refered to him as Rimmer.
His brothers had all become officers in the Space Corps so he decided he
would to but while they had the grades and the skill he was an idiot. And
he wasn't even an idiot who could accept it. He always blamed everyone
else or bad luck for his performance. But his obsession to become an officer
never dimmed. He took officer's exam after officer's exam and failed them
all. Then he died. A victim of his own shoddy repairs to a drive plate.
The same bad repairs that released the cadmium 2 radiation that killed
everyone on Red Dwarf except Lister and His cat. Three million years
later Holly revived Rimmer in the form of a class one hologram as some
one to keep Lister (the last man alive) sane.
Name: Holly
Holly is the tenth generation AI hologrammic computer
fitted on Red Dwarf with an IQ of 6000, or at least it used to be.
Holly was just an ordinary ship's computer and not even a very new one
when Red Dwarf was leathaly contaminated with cadmium 2 radiation.
With the only survivor in stasis Holly had no choice but to take Red dwarf
out of the solar system where it could not harm humans. Completely alone
for three million years Holly had to keep occupied so "he" decided to read
everything ever written and came to the conclusion that the worst book
ever written was football-it's a funny old game by Kevin Keegan.
Holly also took to writing his comprehensive A to Z of the Universe.
Three million years later Holly released Lister from stasis and revived
Rimmer in form of hologram. By this time holly was a gibbering nutcase
with barely enough intelligennce to tell time but he's still alive and
we're not.
Name: Cat
Three million years ago Cloister the Stupid (really Lister) bought a pregnant
cat which he named Frankenstein. When a poorly repaired drive plate dumped
cadmium 2 radiation Frankenstein was sealed in the hold for protection.
Three million years later. The cats evolved in that hold spawning a civilization
of Felis-sapiens. Eventually these cats managed to escape the hold
and go off into space searching for Fuchal (what Lister and every one else
calls Fiji) following Lister's laundry list thinking it was a message from
Cloister on how to get to the "Promised Land" leaving the weak and the
stupid. Cat fell into the later catagory. He spent years wandering Red
Dwarf and eventually emmerging to find Lister living and Rimmer revived.
If Cat where to be compared with any of the others he would be compared
to Rimmer as being complete opposites. He is stuck up, confident, conceited,
cool and likeable.
Name: Kristine Kochanski
Kochanski is certanly one-of-a-kind in more ways than
one. She is completely different than the rest of the crew. For one she
is intelligent, witty and brite. Secondly she has that whole double 'x'
chromosome thing. Lastly she is from a different universe... literaly.
In her universe SHE was caught with the cat and put in stasis and thus
was the last woman alive. When a non-space link appeared between her Star
Bug and theirs, they met. Kris had always wanted children and as she was
the only human alive she went to the living lister for help. No they did
not do the dirty. He filled a vile. On route back through the non-space
link a groupe of GELFs attacked it and broke the link kris was in the midst
of it and fell throught the tear. Our Lister managed to save her and she
has been part of the group since.
Name: Kryten 2X4B 523P
Kryten started his days rather well. He graduated from Toilet University having studied among others: Lavatorial Sciences (Toilet University is actualy some software in his core programming but he did have to take a written exam to make sure it was installed correctly). From there he worked on the Nova 5, diligently serving its crew.... even after they died. Three million years later (give or take 1000) he was picked up by the crew of Red Dwarf who went to rescue the survivors only that the "survivors" where centuries dead. As cat said "there's less meat on them than a chicken McNugget!" Rimmer instantly uses his new mechanoid to do everything but Lister being the kind of guy who doesn't like to see anything forced to do anything soon convinces Kryten to rebel. With a parting middle finger up to Rimmer he leaves... and gets scrapped. Lister eventualy finds him and manages to rebuild him but the new aspects of his personality are destroyed and a Canadian accen apears in his voice.