Common Sense: A "funny" way of looking at it.

Philosophical Questions

1)If you throw a cat out the window, does it become kitty litter?

2)If corn oil comes from corn, were does baby oil come from?

3)When a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?

4)Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

5)How did a fool and his money get together?

6)If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

7)What's another word for thesaurus?

8)Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

9)What do they use to ship styrofoam?

10)Why is abbreviation such a long word?

11)Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

12)Why do kamikase pilots wear helmets?

13)How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

14)Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

15)Does "virgin wool" come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?

16)When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

17)Does fuzzy logic tickle?

18)Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

19)Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

20)Why do they call it a TV set when you have only one?

21)Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

22)What was the best thing before sliced bread?

MORE...

1)After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

2)Can anyone do a decent Rich Little impersonation?

3)Can you tell how old a pirate is by cutting off his peg and counting the rings?

4)Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

5)Why do they report power outages on TV?

6)Do those poker playing dogs own paintings of humans playing "fetch"?

7)Does distressed leather come from very tense cows?

8)If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

9)If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

10)If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

11)If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

12)If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?

13)Is there a group, like Alcoholics Anonymous, for people who abuse acronyms? If so, what do they call it for short?

14)Is there such a thing as dried fruit flies?

15)Is it legal to run into a crowded fire and yell "Theater!?"

16)Isn't it unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

17)Just *before* someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?

18)Should animal shampoo be tested on humans?

19)What do little birdies see when knocked unconscious?

20)When it rains in the summer, do cotton fields shrink?

21)When a taxidermist stuffs his Thanksgiving turkey, does he leave the head and feathers on?

22)When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

23)Which came first, the chicken salad sandwich or the egg salad sandwich?

24)Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

25)Why don't more masked robbers hold up ski lodges?

STILL WANT MORE...

1)If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

2)Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

3)Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

4)If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

5)If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

6)When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

7)If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell her she has the right to remain silent?

8)Why is the word abbreviation so long?

9)If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

10)Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

11)What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

12)Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

13)Is it possible to be totally partial?

14)What's another word for thesaurus?

15)Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

16)If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

YOU STILL WANT MORE?!?!?...

1)What is the speed of dark?

2)If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?

3)What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

4)If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

5)What's another word for synonym?

6)If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

7)When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

8)Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

9)How can there be self-help groups?

10)Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

11)Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

12)Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

13)Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?

14)Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

15)Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

16)Where are Preparations A through G?

17)Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

18)If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

19)When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

20)When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

21)What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

22)If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

23)Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?

24)It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

25)I was an only child, eventually.

26)I lost a button hole.

27)I got a dog and named him Stay'. Now, I go Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.

28)I have a map of the United States, life size. 1 mile equals 1 mile. It's a bitch to fold it.

29)I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

30)Last year for Christmas, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier.... I thought I'd put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

31)My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighbourhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

32)Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

33)In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."

34)Sponges grow in the ocean ... I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be if that didn't happen.

35)I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, "Do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?" So I said, "Oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far."

36)Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

37)If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

38)I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

39)When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

40)I planted some bird seed. A bird grew. Now I don't know what to feed it.

41)You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment?

42)The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

43)I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

44)I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

45)I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."

46)I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

47)When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.

48)I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.

49)I have an answering machine in my car. It says "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."

50)On the other hand, you have different fingers.