Negativity crushes spirituality. How can I say that? There are many examples of negativity. Things such as gossiping, self-hatred, poor self-esteem, anger, impatience, jealousy, "guilting", self-pity, regression, stagnation, "throwing stones", beating your head against the wall, attention-getting, nay-saying and pack mentality are all examples of negativity.
It is easy to run with the pack. It is harder to stand up as an individual for what you believe in if you are mainly interested in having people "like" you. If you find you want others to "respect" you, though, they will appreciate your candour, assuming you present your views with clarity and without rancour. Are you a shepherd or merely one of the sheep. Worse yet are you a member of the circling pack, honing in on the weak for a kill?Self-hatred and poor self-esteem are closely related. And if you cannot accept yourself or even love yourself despite your faults how can you truly feel love for another? Suicide is the ultimate selfishness and haunts the living. I have experienced depression and realize it is not always a choice to feel this way. But that is a time in your life when you must live moment to moment and seek help to live. Depression can be situational or chemical imbalance or a multitude of other things. On good days, having a spiritual basis may be helpful in moving forward. There are many people who project negativity towards others and who have a poor self-concept who can do things to improve life for themselves if they choose. It may be much harder for people who are truly depressed and not just sporting an attitude.
Life doesn't owe you anything. You can spend your life being reactive or proactive. Being reactive means you allow life to "happen to you" whereas being proactive implies that you plan your life more. Be prepared to meet the unexpected. Know that we all have days where coping is harder than others and prepare for them. Before starting on your workday do you prioritize? Do you set a little money aside for emergencies? You can have a spiritual crisis as well. Are you armed to support yourself? Have you got someone to talk to? Have you written a list of self-affirming statements to read when you are down on yourself? Are you honest with yourself or do you lie because it seems too painful to get to know the real you, perhaps the hidden you?How much time do you allow for anger, impatience and jealousy in your everyday life? When someone else puts you down or does something you consider inept or stupid or irritating do you let it get to you? Do you say "so and so made me angry"? You may have no other control than to say to yourself "I will not! let this get me down. I will smile and keep on going. No one can make you angry. You choose anger or other emotions as a response. When you accept this as the truth, then you become responsible for the things you feel. Then you can simply change your response. Its much easier when you know it is someone else's problem, not yours for rude comments or driving in a way that puts you in danger. This is not to say you can not feel. But if you stew in anger or jealousy or guilt all day, you will be the one who feels the effect of it. The guy who unknowingly cuts you off driving is not mad. His blood pressure is not up. His heart is not racing. You can choose to dwell on the problem or move on. You might even say you need to change something else besides your attitude. You might want to be more attuned to drive defensively. Face it, if you get in an accident you will be the one suffering from another's mistake. By having a plan, you will feel more in control and it will be easier to let the insults roll off your back. You can only control you.
We are born alone and we must die alone, in the context of our souls. Others may attend the events but they are our own most intimate times. The comfort of memory may be present at death. As your life flashes across your mind in that brief, eternal moment, will your memories bring you comfort or pain. Will you taste the bitterness of regret for time wasted or find some solace?What do I mean by "throwing stone"? This is any activity where you sit in judgement on another. Judge not lest ye be judged Have we not all heard this phrase? Yet not a day goes by that I dont see or hear in my little world or on the news about the sins of another. Let he amongst you who is without sin cast the first stone This is yet another famous quote that simply tells us that we need to look to our own lives and work on our imperfections before telling others how to live their lives. I am not saying that it is wrong to punish for murder or other crimes. But allow for evidence collection and dont rush to judgement. To hold others up to a higher standard than we hold ourselves is simply unrealistic. Ask yourself "whose business is it anyways?" If it is a societal issue then it is the business of us all but again, temper judgement with facts not fiction. Dont let your religious or political persuasions get in the way of justice and fairness. You would expect to be acccorded the same ethical principles if fingers were pointed at you.
Is it a crime to be poor or not to wear designer clothing or to be hit by a car just when your health insurance was not renewed? Is it a crime to believe in a different philosophy or religion or to be born a specific gender or be a member of an ethnic group? A true crime is not just one of life taking but so is belittling the soul. I find in my day to day interactions with others on the job that judgement is passed on the poor, the homeless, the uninsured, the overweight, the person with an alternative lifestyle, women with tatoos, persons in pain, drug users and those with sexually transmitted diseases, aids or hepatitis to name a few. While I am not always in agreement with the way a person lives their life I do not choose to stand in judgement. I have not walked in their shoes. If I can help with teaching or administering care I do it. I may have feelings about what they are doing but I keep them to myself. I do not share them in a belittling way with others. I do not find it fun to have my laughs at the expense of others. They must live with the consequences of their actions. As must we all.Do you beat your head against the wall? If life is happening to you and you are not in control of how you let yourself feel then you will find that your head hurts a lot but you will be powerless to effect change. We see others suffer and if our natural inclination is to "save" them, we might be better off finding a better way to help and that is only if our help is sought and wished for. It is better to teach a man to farm than to hand him bread to paraphrase a familiar text. Most people arent looking for handouts, simply a "hand up" or information on a better way to meet their needs. Again, we need to focus on putting our own lives in apple pie order before taking on what we think we should fix in others.
I am a firm believer in consequences. You do something and you feel the effect of it. If someone "saves" you from your consequences, then how can you learn and grow? Sometimes, people have to hit rock botom before they can climb up from the pits. And anything you can do for yourself will be considered a source of pride and accomplishment. Sometimes my patients are too feeble to bathe well. So I hand a washcloth to them and say "ok, do what you can... wash your face..." and they do it. To be as independent as possible in the day to day care of your body, and spirit, is to be fulfilled.
There have been many studies analyzing pack or group mentality. People in a crowd act differently on the whole than they would if they were acting as individuals. It is easier to "go along" with the group than find yourself "fresh meat" for balking. A person who is grounded in spirituality has a stronger sense of self and may be able to turn the tide. I am talking not just of larger issues but of simple things such as the way a co-worker may be treated at work. I work with someone who is older and has an unkempt appearance. She will even come to work wearing very untidy clothing although she puts on makeup and fixes her hair. She has at times had an offensive odor about her. I am not saying this is a problem that shouldnt be addressed. However, when I was at work recently and she had a day off, people were discussing the most intimate aspects of the perceived problem openly and in the hearing of many people who had no connection to the problem. Laughter rang out derisively and loudly. In fact, I was the only one not participating. It degraded them all in my eyes and I simply walked away. These are intelligent, college-educated people and I was disappointed in their actions. Wouldnt it have been better for the most tactful of the individual in the group to have taken this woman aside, if it is a problem needing action in the first place, and talking to her? People never cease to amaze me but that this was going on in a nurses' station with people who are supposed to understand spiritual and emotional dynamics made me question what happens in larger society, where the holistic education is not taught. Just my two cents worth.
I dont think a doctor ought to be a surgeon until he has had surgery. I dont think a nurse should either for that matter. Experience humanizes us all. Without that anchor we drift away of a sea of suppositions and away from enlightenment and kindness. I do not have to agree with how you live your life. But I am not going to make your choices the butt of my jokes. I after all, must waken every day and live with myself. And the soul is a fragile thing. My main goal is to live in peace and to minimize regret and to quell the singsong in my mind. What is your goal?