Before my aunt had her child and moved to the country, she worked at a graphics advertising firm. They would touch up and manipulate photos for advertisements. One day, they received a photo of a celebrity (who will remain nameless because I don't want to get sued over this page) who was doing an ad for a certain brand of pants (which will remain nameless for the same reasons) that they were to make look pretty. They went about playing with the picture and sent it to the people who they got the photo from.

Done and done.

A few days later they got the picture back with a note attached saying that they wanted the creases in the pants removed. With a bit of puzzlement they went about doing so and removed the creases along the legs. They then returned the photo.

Done and done.

Within a few days, they got the photo back, but a phone call came after they got it. The users of the photo said there was a fold in the pants that made it appear that celebrity had an erection, and they wanted some of it taken out so it would not be so suggestive. After the people who worked at my aunts firm had a good chuckle, they did as ordered and sent it back on its way.

Done and done.

Sure enough, they got the photo back with a note that astounded them. It told them that they had removed too much and they wanted them to put some of it back in.

Now, this begs the question: Did this certain celebrity see the finished product and was offended that he had seemed to be less than manly…. You decide.

When I was around the age of two, I had the piece of mind to tell my mother what the difference between boys and girls was. I do not remember this incident at all, but my parents swear this is what I said:

"Girls wear pantyhose and boys wear pederalls."

What the hell does that mean? What could drive a little boy to say such a thing laced with sexual innuendo?….. You decide.

There was a man who worked with my father at a power plant near my hometown that related a strange incident to him. It was the first really nice day of spring, and the apporementioned man thought it would be nice if he cooked up two gamebirds that he had shot; One for him and one for his wife.

So the man turned on the grill, put the birds on and let them cook. Feeling a little parched by all this hard work, went inside and got himself cold brew. When he turned around and looked out the window at the open grill, hey saw quite a perterbing sight. One of the birds had been swiped from the grill!

He went outside hastily, trying to figure out what had happened to his meal. Sure enough, there was his trusty cat, clutching the half cooked bird in it's jaws. The man dashed over and snatched the bird away from the stunned cat. He held his now defiled fowl and began to move to thow it away.

Then, he took a good look at the bird. "Well," he thought, "It doesn't look too bad..." As he began to brush the grass off of it. With a chuckle he thought "The littls Ms. can have it. I'm sure she won't mind..."

The dirty bird was then placed back onto the grill and the man went back into the house. But this time, he watched the cat to see what it was doing.

Sure enough that little feline was creeping up on that grill, not finished with it's piece yet.

"I'll teach him a lesson" our hero thought as he went to the side door. He grabbed the cat as it went by towards the birds, crying out in triumph. He then took the cat over to the grill to show it the error of its' ways. He held the cat at arms length over the grill, over it just enough so that it could get a good taste of what the grill was like.

That's when the little cat opened up and wizzed all over the clean game hen.

Was it a malignant act on the part of the cat? Or did the man literally "scare the piss out of him"? You decide.