Funny Quotes I like



      Pinky: Hmmm... let me think...
      Brain: Don't hurt yourself, Pinky.
      -- Bubba Bo Bob Brain

      P: Gee, Brain, what are you doing over there?
      B: Pondering your afterlife, Pinky.

      "Eat people not animals."-bumper sticker.

      Be afwaid! Be vewy, vewy afwaid. . . . .!
      (Quote by Elmer Fudd. A noted intellectual)

      Mom and Dad can make the rules
      And certain things forbid,
      But I can make them wish that they
      had never had a kid.
      -calvin and hobbes

      "The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail;
      if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence."
      -H.L. Menchen

      "Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs--bank vice presidents, insurance salesman, auditors, secretaries of defense--and you'll realize they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins in the Sears mens wear department dress. Now look at the real successes, the people who make a lot more money than you--Elton John, Captain Kangaroo, anybody from Saudi Arabia, Big Bird, and so on. They all dress funny--and they all succeed. Are you catching on?"
      -Dave Barry, "How to Dress for Real Success"

      "Everyone remember, we are parked under the Sun Sphere"- Bart Simpson

      Other quotes I like:

      Lily Tomlin: "Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

      Jules de Gaultier: "Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality."

      "Too many of us stay walled because we are afraid of being hurt. We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all." - E.Roosevelt

      Unknown: "The worst prison would be a closed heart."

      Madonna: "You can't choose what excites you, you can only react."

      "Being "average" is to take up space for purpose, to take the trip through life, but to never pay the fare, to return no interest for God's investment in you. Being "average" is to pass one' s life away with time, rather than to pass one's time away with life. It's to kill time, rather than work it to death."

      "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." -Author: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

      "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."- Chinese Proverb

      "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

      "Many things in life will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart."

      "Never seek love always friendship."

      "You've got to dance like nobody's looking, and love like it's never going to hurt."

      "There is no greater pain than not being with the one you love."

      "Nothing is impossible to a willing heart."- John Heywood, English author (16th century)

      "The Entire Sum of Existance is the Magic of Being Needed By Just One Person"

      "Do what you love" -Henry David Thoreau

      "It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it" -W. Somerset Maugham.

      "If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, is to save every day 'til eternity passes away just to spend them with you"

      "Sometimes you have dreams...and sometimes you live them."

      Poetry I like:

      "penetrate your vision
      beneath the surface
      look beneath the coverings
      take a closer look
      look for what lies beneath
      the covers we add to our beauty"

      another poem:

      "When I first saw you your eyes sparkled, I knew we had started an intafuation that neither one of us could resist. You were so warm and gentle as we danced alone by the glow of the firelight. It was wonderful, the way you told me your dreams, fears and hopes. To show you how much you mean to me, I gave you a kiss. That's when we knew had something that would last." -anonymous.

      another poem:

      "I stand here on the shore
      before an ocean of dreams;
      Feeling the cool refreshing winds of hope
      and all I can wish for from my heart;
      Is someone to stand beside me and share."
      -Daryl

      My List of Quotation Links

      Quotations home page
      Has several categories for quotes from inspirational to sarcasm to quotes by Women which I especially liked.
      Random Quotations
      Brings up random quotes. I thought some of the Steven Wright quotes were very funny.
      Quotation Archive
      A site with wisdom quotes.
      The "Wisdom" of Dan Quayle
      Some funny and illogical quotes from this dumb ex-vice president.
      "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - Vice President Dan Quayle



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