Dungeon Quest: The Title H e l l o M u m!



Stumble me fluttergripes. Only 3½ of you seem to have made it this far. I wonder what happened to the rest...
Story teller reclinin'

This is hopeless........

SPONGE!!!!!

This charlie keeps dropping off. Chain him to the wall so that he may be awake for Chapter 3.

Are we hanging comfortably..? Oh you are are you? Right, SPONGE!! Attach weights to his legs and fetch the ant farm and jam.


MORE SAUCY SEASIDE LINKS

If you've not been here yet then I strongly suggest you visit now... unless the bastard's moved the danm thing again.

For the benefit of those of you who have not done the homework set, the quest starts here; i.e. if you've just blundered in here like a blind, twelve legged, neurotic hippo fondler (you're the second one today), then it would be best for you to click the "here" link above and start from the beginning. No I think it would be best. Go on now. Have they gone yet? Good, now we can mock them from afar.

Click on the banana. You know you want to. It'll take you away from all this and to the only page on the Internet which could possibly tell you what to do with forty pounds of bananas.


To the Banana Page


Norm Disguised Join Norm's insultathon: Norm Disguised

YES, it's the official Dungeon Quest Insultathon. All those who have read the story so far will know who Norm is and will therefore know what the hell we're all talking about. The rest of you will have to follow the links and do a bit of homework for yourselves 'cos I'm not going to explain this Insultathon thing any more than I have to. Why should I? It's not like I get paid for this; I only do it for a laugh. Admittedly it's only me who laughs but that's better than no one at all. Besides, we've only got a certain amount of Internet space here and I'm not going to waste it by explaining to the likes of you what the hell I'm going on about or what we're trying to achieve here, just because you're too damn lazy to follow a simple link and read a couple of paragraphs of text! What am I? Your mother?

Who are you?


Write your insult here


Winners of the best insults could win one of the following (click button for your preference):

A FULL picture of the lovely Doreen: Manners! Don't grab!

Or a specially customised insult from Norm himself (insults for all occasions; wedding receptions and funerals a speciality.)

Or some original Dung from which all this sprang. Yes genuine pre-web Dung presented in all its stark unedited form could be yours for just the small price of a damn good insult.

Or be the envy of all your fiends by winning the highly coveted GOLDEN LOBSTER award. You won't find many of these on the web. Imagine what the neighbours will say.

WARNING: The following button sends your beautifully crafted insult to a completely random e-mail address somewhere in the world.



This months winner is Mr. B.D. Batplucker III who was testing his knobs at the time.

Congratulations Mr. Batplucker a splendid pair of knockers should reach you shortly.

Er... we had this from Tsotsi over the weekend (9th Feb. 2002):

"Whatever has crawled up your semen-encrusted fat arse must be suffering horribly."

Nice to see you had a good weekend (lit.). Nice one. Send us your email address or the email address of a complete stranger and we'll email your prize knockers to it.

TA,

The dozy Dung Quest twats who don't have a "your email address" box on their form. Bit of an oversight.

 

OI!: We seem to be suffering from the dreaded invisible radio buttons (on some crappy old browsers run on Windows 3.whatever). You can only see them if you REALLY believe in them. They are there, honest! Just click slightly to the left of the option required. (default prize is the picture of Doreen.)

Any other business? Well don't worry I'm sure it'll brush off when it dries otherwise tell Bartholomew D. Batplucker III just exactly what you think of his arboreal partner in chyme Schtup.

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Text and art contained within these pages (except for the adverts) copyright © 1996/7 by the Authors. No part of these pages may be reproduced in any form, by any means without the prior written permission of the Authors. I think they're serious too. The 2nd author's just subbed a cigarette out on his tongue. He worries me sometimes.