| DD: |
Hi the Rock. |
| Tart: |
Hey! Dangerous Dick? It’s Jennifer. I’m calling for the interview. |
| DD: |
Oh, great! Hi! What’d you want to talk about today? |
| Tart: |
Let’s get this straight, OK? I’m asking the questions. ...Um, what do you want to talk about? |
| DD: |
...It’s kind of funny, I think of shit to say on the radio all day long. Now I can’t think of anything. |
| Tart: |
You know how strippers get disillusioned and bored with sex after they’ve been stripping for a long time? Do you get that way with talking? |
| DD: |
Not really, but it’s like it takes more to get me excited about it, you know? That’s why
whenever I have women come down to the station they have to agree to get naked for me
when I let them in. It raises that level of excitement, keeps my interest. |
| Tart: |
Well it’s a good thing we’re conducting a phone interview, then, because I only get naked
for doctors and carnies. I have to tell you, though, your radio voice is very sexy. It’s like
a low, soothing glide across a slinky velvet dress. ...Your conversational voice, however,
seems to be a few notes higher and a lot sillier. |
| DD: |
Well shit! This is my real voice! It’s all an illusion, I tell you! Just like film stars maintain a certain persona towards their public, and you have the glamour of makeup and hairstylists and wardrobe people, there’s a certain amount of fantasy involved
with radio, too. You’d
be amazed at how many women I meet over the phone when I’m working. There are a lot
of women who are DJ groupies, too. People think my life is so glamorous. When I first
start seeing a woman she’ll be so excited about the fact that I’m a DJ. And a comedian.
And then she’ll spend some time with me and get to know me and it’s SUCH a letdown. |
| Tart: |
Or maybe you’re the letdown... |
| DD: |
Hey, you don’t get to say that kind of stuff until we’ve been on like two dates. |
| Tart: |
OK, Dick... that’s not your real name, is it? |
| DD: |
No, it’s a stupid radio name I came up with as a joke when I was doing radio back in Kentucky. It just stuck. Richard is my middle name, though. |
| Tart: |
I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me what your real name is, are you? |
| DD: |
That would blow the fantasy! |
| Tart: |
You’re right. I understand you were born and raised in Kentucky. |
| DD: |
Yeah, and I always dreamed of coming out to California. I had all these preconceived notions - fantasies - about what it would be like here, what the people would be like. So one day I just packed everything up and drove across the country to San Diego. Been here about 5 years now. |
| Tart: |
And your California fantasies? Were they true? |
| DD: |
In a way, even moreso than I expected. I mean, I was imagining Baywatch babes
at the beach, and that’s just the way it is. Just beautiful people everywhere, all tan and healthy.
I thought there would be palm tree lined streets, and there are. And California is just so
hip. I remember when I was younger just thinking that everything started in California, as
far as trends and music and fashion go. |
| Tart: |
Do you think the scene out here is radically different? Has it changed you at all? |
| DD: |
Oh yeah, I was really naive when I first came here. I just hadn’t experienced much. And
there are so many minorities. I think I saw my first Asian person when I came to
California. Actually, on my way out I came through Vegas and spent about two nights
there. I stayed up all night that first night, and it must’ve been about 5:30 in the morning,
the sun was just starting to come up. I’m walking down the street, and this car pulls up to
me and there are these two girls. They’re kinda pretty in that slutty way, but they look like
they’ve been up all night, and are a little wasted. Anyway, they say to me, “Hey, you
wanna party?” And stupid me, I’m like, “Yeah! “ So they tell me to get in the car, and
then it clicks... these are prostitutes! So I back out and I tell them I don’t have any money.
The passenger-side girl tells me, “Ya got five bucks? Five bucks for a blow job.” And I’m
cringing, saying “No, I’m sorry!” So they drive off. But I’ll tell you, if I ever was
going to pick up a hooker, I sure as hell wouldn’t pick one up at that hour. Like I wanna be their
last customer of the night, you know? “C’mon, let’s just do one more for the road.” So
that’s just an example of how my eyes have kinda been opened since I’ve been out here. |
| Tart: |
What, you don’t have hookers in Kentucky? |
| DD: |
Don’t need ‘em. We got sheep. |
| Tart: |
You don’t have Asians in Kentucky either? |
| DD: |
Not really, no. You could go back to my hometown and open up a chinese restaurant and
make a killing, because you’d be the only authentic chinese restaurant around. |
| Tart: |
I don't know, I don't think I could pass for authentic... Did you always want to be a DJ? |
| DD: |
No, I actually wanted to be in film or television, but then I sort of gave up on that idea.
You know, you try to be an actor and it’s just so difficult. Everyone in L.A. wants to be a
star. Everyone you meet up there is an actor waiting for their big break. But when I
looked into radio, I was astonished by how many jobs were out there, by how ‘doable’ it
was. I mean, in a town like San Diego it’s a little bit more difficult because there isn’t such a big market, but L.A. has a huge market. And smaller towns are just dying for talent. So
here I am, in a beautiful city, living at the beach, working three days a week, naked ladies
in the studio, more could you ask for? |
| Tart: |
I think that just about covers it. |