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I have this pet peeve. It's called slimy soap. You know, soap that doesn't
quite wash off, that leaves that slimy film on your skin. These types
of soap are usually referred to as "moisturizing bars," and not "soap" at all. My disdain for slimy soap all began in junior high. My best friend often invited me to spend the night at her house. Her grandmother almost single-handedly supported the local Avon lady's whole family by purchasing the entire line of Avon products, including, you guessed it, their line of slimy hand and body soaps. I never felt truly clean in that house. Although, that may have had something to do with their two smelly cats and bad cleaning habits. These days, when I stay in hotels, I always bring a bar of my own, in case they only offer this horrendous alternative to soap. As I walk down the soap isle in the nearby Vons or my favorite Target, I cringe in disgust when I see the Caress and Ivory soap bars. Before you dress, please don't caress. They have these pretty, feminine wrappers, too. All pinks, whites, and sea greens. You'd never see one of these slimy soaps marketed to men. They know better. Somehow, women have been duped into believing its better to be soft than clean. Ironically, now there's a body lotion available that supposedly sanitizes your hands while softening them. See, the manufacturers and marketing people have it all backwards. The functionality of one should not be confused or mingled with the other. And now, there are more bath and body products than I can even imagine what to do with. What used to be a simple thing, getting in the shower, soaping up and rinsing, has become one big long hassle designed to make someone a lot of money. You've got your scented shower gel and sponge, your vitamin E and aloe moisturizing shaving gel with wide grip shaver made especially for women, your oatmeal and apricot facial scrub, your strawberry and kiwi not-tested-on-animals shampoo and conditioner, your body splash that preferably matches your shower gel, your spray-in, leave-in silk hair conditioner, more body conditioners, even though your shower gel probably already covered that slimy detail, and all of it organic, of course. And you men wonder why your girlfriends and wives spend two hours in the bathroom. This process occurs while we're still naked! We still have to pick out what we're going to wear... I say cut the frilly crap and just give me some non-slimy soap that gets me clean. Copyright 1997 Jennifer Chung. All rights reserved, punk. |