I've recently obtained a video camera, and I keep it rolling all the time. You never know when you're going to come across that $10,000 funniest home video or something interesting to send in to RealTV or Fox. I've been asked why it is that a cameraperson often feels compelled to continue filming, rather than help, the injured/drowning/burning/ falling/flailing/screaming Subject of this type of amateur film. The only thing I can say is that the Subject and events surrounding the Subject ARE incredibly compelling. And as you watch and film through that camera lens, the voyeurism and conflicting senses of uselessness and action, helplessness and yet a sense of incredible creative power, these things keep you intent on filming that Subject, eye pasted to the viewfinder, feet planted to the ground. These are the same feelings that compel viewers to watch those immensely popular Fox TV specials-of-the-week, even though much of the footage is recycled from week to week. You know the ones. Don't pretend like you don't watch them.

But there are so many more shows to be done. The Fox network has just barely tapped the surface of a constantly renewable and recyclable, sensational, and mind-numbingly transfixing resource of footage presented by hordes of American amateur filmic entrepreneurs like myself. Below is an extensive list of potential shows I'd like to see the Fox network provide. Simply pick one item from each column to form a multitude of sensational shows!




Fox Network's Greatest Television Specials!

  • The World's
  • America's
  • The FBI's
  • Most Ferocious
  • Wildest
  • Best
  • Ugliest
  • Most Gender-Dysphoric
  • Dumbest
  • Most Horrifying
  • Most Dangerous
  • Bloodiest
  • Most Feral
  • Scariest
  • Funniest
  • Most Shocking
  • Gun-Toting Women
  • Police
  • Asian Prostitute Rings
  • Snuff Films
  • Sting Operations Gone Wrong
  • Nuns and Their Dirty Habits!
  • High-Speed Collisions
  • Implausibly Disfigured Faces
  • Political Sex Scandals
  • Boating Accidents
  • Bestiality Caught on Tape!
  • Toxic Waste Spills and Resulting Human Deformity



Fox Network's Greatest Television Specials 2!

  • When
  • Farm Animals
  • Medical Doctors
  • Toddlers
  • Fast Cars
  • Aliens
  • Blondes
  • New-Age Sensitive Cultish-Type Guys
  • Morticians
  • Naval Officers
  • Junkies
  • Strippers
  • Bad Kids
  • Fall from the Sky
  • Bilk America
  • Kill Good People
  • Attack!
  • Cheat Death
  • Shake Their Money Makers
  • Abduct Your Children
  • Sever Limbs
  • Brainwash Your Daughters
  • Break into Your Home
  • Have Sex with Their Clients!
  • Spontaneously Combust!
  • Sue Their Mothers


Copyright 2/99 Jennifer Chung.
All rights relinquised to Fox Television.



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