Here’s the truth about personal ads. They don’t work!
Everything about them is artificial. People feel the need to misrepresent themselves in personal ads because they have to sell themselves. It is, after all, an advertisement. They have to lie a little to get a bite. Can you imagine if people were honest about themselves and what they were looking for?
Desperate, unattractive fat bitchcow seeks lover to shell out compliments and fix my car. Make me pbj sandwiches and fried chicken while I watch TV in bed.
Male, 38, looking for extra-marital sex partner. Have none on my head but a bit of hair on my back. Will take you out to dinner first, next town over.
Drug-addicted male, 22. Great looking and will give you hot sex. Need someone to make car payments and support habit.
40ish female just out of divorce. Looking for younger guy to play out kinky fantasies of gynecologist/patient, quarterback/cheerleader, horse/rider.
29/W/M. Work out daily to make up for small pecker. And because i secretly think i'm gay. Dumb but cute. Please feed my ego. I have a big truck.
Probably no one would ever meet anyone through personal ads if this were the case. So they lie. And don’t even bother responding to these ads because you’re never going to meet their criteria of perfection. What makes them so worthy of a perfect mate anyway? Like, I’m so undesirable I have to advertise for a friend, but that friend better be perfect or don’t bother! Oh, yeah, but she’s gotta be stupid enough to fall for this ad.
Copyright 4/99 Jennifer Chung.
All rights reserved.
Asian female, 25. Call me.