By Chris Murphy
Announcer: As you wake up in the morning, or as you go to bed at night, after the coffee is finished you find..Coffee Grinds..
[Music: Opening theme- Light hearted, yet melodramatic with a feel of romance and intrigue]
Announcer: You remember Last time! When Charles had announced his leaving the accounting firm and the surprised reactions of David and Michael, who only yesterday had heard that Charles and Ted were developing a new way to use Betty's charts and Donaldís tables to graph the progress of Donnas growth funds that she just last week received from Arnold who had picked them up from a random tip phoned in by the unknown man in the black suit with the white hat that had the little gold pin from the company that once existed many years ago but no longer is known to the general public.. Sit back, and enjoy this caffeinated episode, of Coffee Grinds.
[Background sounds of typing, soft mutterings like an office place]
Michael: So, Dave, ya hear about Charles leaving? Wow, what a blow, huh?
David: Yeah, the place sure won't be the same without him.
Michael: Yeah, yeah.. I heard they're having a going away lunch for him tomorrow.
David: (almost surprised) Oh really? Wow, well, that's really great.. I'm glad they still support his decision, I mean, I hear he was crucial to the office with his computer knowledge and such..
Michael: Yeah, he'll be missed alright.
David: Yeah.. (pauses.. typing is still heard in the background somewhere) So, um.. his, ah, office, .. it'll sure look empty without him in it.
Michael: (Non-chalantly) Oh no, Mary already claimed it.
David: She did?
Michael: Yeah.. well, she had been in that cube for 6 months, already, sooo..
David: Hmmnn, I've been in my cube for 13 years..
Michael: (almost aghast) David?! You're jealous of Mary? C'mon, man, buck up, she's a hard worker! Everyone loves her, we all thought she should get it.
David: (aside) I didn't..
Michael: What?
David: I said, I didn't know they were voting on who was getting the office space.
Michael: Oh yeah, as soon as he cleared his stuff out.
David: Hmmn, but she's a secretary...
Michael: Yeah...?
David: She won't need the hi-grade computer Charles used will she?
Michael: (again matter-of-factly) Oh no, Richard got that, he just came on and needed a computer, sooo..
David: Well, what about his lap-top?
Michael: Brenda, in sales..
David: And his palm-top?
Michael: Oh, I claimed that.. I never know when I'll need it but I'm sure I will.
David: (Incredulously) Gee whiz! I'm surprised they haven't given the plants away yet!
Michael: Ted and Susan.
David: What?!
Michael: Ted and Susan got them.
David: Ted and Susan in the MAILROOM??
Michael: David, David, David... Are you getting jealous?
David: Who, me? No.. well, maybe, well, YES, as a matter of fact I am jealous! How come I didn't get anything from his office?
Michael: Did you ask?
David: Well, I didn't know they were just GIVING all his stuff away, I might have said something...
Michael: Well, you should go for it, what did you want?
David: Well, (thinking as he's huffing) I don't know.. I suppose I could use his floor lamp-
Michael: (already knowing who got it) Ed in supplies.
David: Oh. how about his chair?
Michael: Louise in MIS.
David: Electric stapler?
Michael: Chris in QA.
David: Hole puncher?
Michael: Donna...
David: Pencil sharpener?
Michael: Ronald...
David: Pens?
Michael: (Shocked) David!
David: (Defiantly) Well??
Michael: Me...
David: But YOU got the Palm-top!
Michael: (Like a little kid) Sooo?
David: (also like a little kid) Soo! I want 'em! You got something already!
Michael: David! Noooo!
David: (sighs, hurt).. did you see anything left in the room?
Michael: Might have seen a pencil still in there-
David: -mechanical?
Michael: No, Jennifer got that one.
David: A simple number 2 pencil?? That's it??
Michael: Take it or leave it.
David:No, that's beneath me, forget it.
Michael: Fine by me.
[Pause. Sound of running feet]
Announcer: Well! What do you think will happen next time?
David: (far away sounding) Got it! Whohoo! Yes!! Hahaaaa!
Announcer: Will Charles enjoy his new job? Will Mary enjoy the new office space?
David: (still far away) A paper clip, YES! Who da man?!!
Announcer: Will David ever enjoy having a REAL dose of self-worth? Tune in again next time for another stimulating episode of, Coffee Grinds..
[Music: Ending Theme]
David: (far away now) A penny!
Copyright 5/99 Chris Murphy.
All rights reserved.